Everyone gets pissed off when I don't want to attend weddings with them. I still give gifts and say my congrats to the bride & groom, but I just prefer not attending them. Call me bitter, but I just don't see the point since it's most likely that couple will get divorced in a few years. And plus, I don't want to particpate in something that society has completely constructed into something that is MANDATORY for every woman and every man to do in their lifetime.
what do you think?
2006-11-13 15:09:28 · 20 answers · asked by leaves 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
to the person who asked - i'm obviously not going to have a wedding when i get married...a trip down to city hall is fine with me! :)
2006-11-13 15:14:04 · update #1
mel, will you marry me?!
how about spicing it up and go to vegas!!!
maybe get married by Elvis and rock with Blue Man Group!!!
2006-11-13 15:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by buddhaboy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I totally agree about not attending unless they're close friends but not for the same reasons. I recently told my husband that unless it's a very close friend OR a family member I'm close to I refuse to attend any more weddings. I'm tired of going to weddings and handing over my hard earned money, sometimes hundreds of dollars, to people I know but don't consider close ..... I know people get divorced far more often than I care to admit and I guess that would make me angry too. the people I know are just recently married and still in the honeymoon stage so I haven't see any divorces yet, the first time I do I will probably be even angrier about handing over the cash gifts we've handed out over the past few years. Weddings are beautiful occasions and should be celebrated .... I just won't be celebrating with every couple that sends me an invitation anymore!!
2006-11-13 23:23:12 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I don't think society feels it is MANDATORY anymore. In fact, just the opposite. Society used to pressure people to get married when they were 18, 19, 20 .. and now most people are waiting until their late 20s, 30s, and even 40s to get married. It is much more acceptable to not get married these days.
Sure, they may get divorced later but do you really WISH that on them? Give them a chance to be happy and wish nothing but the best for them. You should go to their weddings - the gift doesn't matter to them - obviously they consider you important enough to invite you and pay for you if they are getting catering - many brides have lists of people and then have to cut some for the caterer - so considering they are inviting you means you made the cuts and they consider YOU very important and a close friend even if you don't see them that way. They want you there - that's the point.
2006-11-13 23:15:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some females have this dream of a wedding and being a wife and being a mother that starts when they are young children.
I would say if someone is getting married soon and they expect you'll be there,.. you go,.... they may have wasted hundreds of dollars towards your name. >.> Some times people manage thousands per person. Anyways,.. they can't take back whatever they have paid for so you waste money by not showing up and going " I'll try/take this thing for me". You could probably walk off with food and things with your name on them and that's all some people want.
It doesn't matter what they thought/knew you were going to do,... some other people took over. Now all they can do is hope these people don't run off with their money,.. without getting as much out of this as they paid for. Even if there isn't a wedding, people do this. Some sort of party or reception.
2006-11-13 23:23:07 · answer #4 · answered by sailortinkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that there is anything wrong at all. I understand a wedding as a family/close-friend event. It should be an intimate ceremony for those people that you really want to be there. However, weddings have become an exhibition. People are merely getting married to show off. I wonder how many people really know what they are doing when they decide to get married. In any event, if there is a person honest enough to reject all this exhibitionism and vanity-fair-for-a-day, that person should be respected. If you don't want to attend a wedding, you don't have to.
2006-11-13 23:19:37 · answer #5 · answered by The Muffin Man 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you do sound bitter!
Why? I have no clue, maybe you got burned once.
But normally when people get married and you get an invitaion its their way of saying come cellebrate with us.
Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe you were sent an invitation because they really think of you as a friend, not because they think you'll give a nice gift?
If they are not your friends then why do you bother to even give a gift? Almost sounds as you give a gift because you feel guilty because your not going to their wedding because you are truely not their friend and you don't want them to know it.
If your not their friend, then just send the invitation back saying thank you but I can not attend, and don't send a gift.
Sending a gift is sending a mixed message.
2006-11-14 01:19:11 · answer #6 · answered by iwish40 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can force you to do anything.
I'd just suggest not making your reason for not going as apparent. No one is going to like you much for saying you arent going because you think they are likely getting divorced anyways.
Btw, marriage is less "mandatory" now than ever; people are living together and NOT getting married.
If you hate weddings so much, why are you on a forum ON weddings?
Do everyone a favour and take the chip off your shoulder and put in with the dip where it belongs.
2006-11-13 23:39:36 · answer #7 · answered by Cariad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong...if people get pissed off, let them. In my view, you're doing the couple a favor by saving them a lot of money by not partaking in their reception...plus you give them a gift as well. Nothing to feel guilty about. Weddings just aren't your thing and people should respect that.
2006-11-14 06:48:17 · answer #8 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop caring what others think. if you don't like to go and don't want to who are they to say anything or get pissed. if they get pissed screw them. give married people credit, they just want you to share in their special day. I didn't feel it was mandatory for me to get married, it was just something i wanted to do and shout to everyone i know and what better way than a wedding. we had people not show up and we didn't care, besides how do you know that they will get divorced in a few years anyway. I've been married to my husband for 3 months bt we've been together for 10 years. we've never broken up or cheated. i knew he was the one i wanted to be with for life. and if you don't want to get married don't, but don't rag on people that do. my advice....just don't go if you don't want to and who gives a flying F**K!
2006-11-13 23:16:25 · answer #9 · answered by AnneeMoon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its not wrong not wantin to go to a wedding....if that person has had your back and help you with everythin threw thick and thin then you should go....but if that friend hasnt and you talk every so often and hasnt done anything for you then no u shouldnt go cus what have they done for you? cus if there jsut there and dont see them all the time dont go to their wedding wahts the point
2006-11-13 23:19:13 · answer #10 · answered by enny_dZ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave them a gift! That's the reason people invite people that they don't know that well anyway! What's the big deal? Weddings are lame!
2006-11-13 23:17:21 · answer #11 · answered by Red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋