He's gained a lot of weight bc he started eating tons of junk food & stopped exercising. He's also growing his hair long & it looks really bad on him. I loved the way he looked before - he was SO HOT when he was thinner & had short hair!
He knows I don't like his long hair. And he knows that he's gained weight & is unhappy about it. Yet he refuses to do anything to change it. He won't exercise & continues to eat tons of junk food. And he won't cut his hair bc he likes it long. Yet he keeps whining & crying about how I'm not as attracted to him now as I used to be.
It's true that I used to be a lot more attracted to him than I am now. I don't rub this in his face; in fact I rarely mention it. But I guess he can sense it.
How can I get him to stop whining & complaining? He could easily cut his hair, so isn't it his own fault? It's like if I didn't shower for a year & then cried when he said I smelled. You're not supposed to cry about it when it's your own fault, right?
2006-11-13 14:58:24 · 11 answers · asked by cajun m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My problem is not so much the looks: I love him for him and looks don't matter that much to me. But he complains so incessantly that I can hardly stand it. How to make him stop whining?
2006-11-13 15:18:22 · update #1
"... it's like if I didn't shower for a year & then cried when he said I smelled ..." - good one! LOL
Seriously, your man may be facing serious issues right now that may have caused this 180 degree turn in his lifestyle. Help him cope up with things rather than telling him to get a hair cut.
Once personal issues have been resolved, then he just might bounce back and look even hotter than before.
Don't be the girl that dumped her man just because he wasn't cute anymore ;)
2006-11-13 15:04:42 · answer #1 · answered by jjerc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. My boyfriend has also gained weight since we first got together... since we even knew each other. He's a very busy guy and he gets stressed. Classes, work, homework, me. Not much time to do anything. I don't make his weight a big deal. Unless he gets obese, that's when I'll say something... because that is just unhealthy. But for now, I tell him that we can go out and exercise together. That hasn't worked out because he only wants to run... and I hate running. Oh well. I just let him know that I love him no matter what and say that he is the same person I fell in love with in the beginning. Looks are such a petty thing compared to love.
And you have to realize that people change... and yes, even looks. A relationship is about the LOVE... accepting that person for who he is... no matter what.
I think he's having bad self-esteem problems and thinks that you're gonna leave him because of his appearance now. If you don't want to leave him, reassure him and let him know you will still be there for him. You two can work out together or you can make a nice healthy meal for the two of you. Encourage him. And what a way to encourage him by doing these things together. : }
2006-11-13 15:07:15 · answer #2 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a whiny little milk baby of a guy you have.
Tell him he's right, you are no longer physically attracted to him because he looks like a Hippie Shmoo now. You remember the Shmoo, right? A big white blob of goo who talks like a little 3 year old girl. Tell him you don't know what's less attractive, his butterball looks or his crybaby personality. Make him mad. Tell him he's not only unattractive, but you have almost no respect for him now on top of it.
If he's got any backbone, he'll get off the couch and get back in shape. You're not trying to change him, you're trying to get him to be the guy you fell for in the first place, he's the one who's screwing it up so he needs to fix it or suffer the consequences.
On better thought, just leave. Sudden changes in appearance are a dead giveaway for a serial killer. Run!
2006-11-13 15:09:08 · answer #3 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the problem is you don't want to rub it in his face. if you really love him, then you'd want the best for him right? and now that you're seeing a bad side of him, why not tell him straight on? you're going to tell him to be better, so why are you keeping all the complaints to yourself?
the truth hurts. and the truth is, he's not attractive anymore. he has to realize that before he can correct himself. but you have to help him also especially now that he is having a hard time with it.
he is crying because he feels that you left him all alone to deal with his problem.
2006-11-13 15:14:46 · answer #4 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Physical attraction is not 100% of a relationship. Do you guys still care for each other? If he does, then he should at least cut his hair, or you have to live with the way he is or break up with him.
2006-11-13 15:02:39 · answer #5 · answered by melomane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to knock all the whining and complaning off and act like a real man! You just find that very unattractive.
2006-11-13 15:03:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right.
He is wrong.
Tell him to get off of his fat a s s and lose some weight. Or dump him. That's not what signed up for. He is violating the contract of your relationship by changing in a negative fashion.
2006-11-13 15:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by three6ty 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
watch saw 2 get some ideas lolz
2006-11-13 15:01:46 · answer #8 · answered by kolt_michael_hamby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it shouldn't just be about looks, but if he is over-eating and if he isn't grooming himself, he might be going through some sort of depression. he may need some professional help..
2006-11-13 15:02:08 · answer #9 · answered by Jeff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him enough, stay further with him. If you can't take it anymore, dump him. However, give him some reasons!
2006-11-13 15:07:58 · answer #10 · answered by Sunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋