I’m dating a guy I know for several years. He was a great friend, we started going out as friends, had a great time. He told me about his girlfriend and how he cheated on her. He is one of the people who are great friends but not boyfriends, and he is wild. One day we met for happy hours, end up having too many martinis and kissed, next I know he broke up with his girlfriend. Now we are dating. He swears he has changed and would never do anything to hurt me. He told me that he wants to be with me forever, and has liked me all the years. He is 28. It’s been one month. Should I trust him? Do people change?
2006-11-13 14:41:40 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Trust is earned as we grow together. Yes - people do change as they grow, some suttle some not so. However, we all have learn't responses, conditioned habits that we may be in denial of needing to change. We perceive things differently, no two people really see things 'exactly' the same way. This is where life takes us into many situations....
I have heard men say some of the most 'believable' things...and yet in 24 short hours 'poof' they can be gone.
Trust is an issue that needs to be nurtured as once it is gained, to lose it can be a very painful experience which may result in one not trusting again and this is detrimental to our relationships. One persons actions would be best not to be judged by those of one other.
To want to be with you forever after one month, suggests to me insecurity and he is laying his territory on you 'all too soon'. I would beware of his strategy of not allowing you a say about your life. How does he know that you want 'him to be with you forever?' Does he know your deeper dreams and inspirations? I bet not. I bet if you ask him to 'finance' them 'today' he would be off running in another direction. If he had liked you all the the years...what stopped him from approaching you many years ago then? People change with people, grow with people and also grow within themselves as being the first priority. What 'self work' has this man of 28 yrs achieved? Or have his changes only been acknowledged each time he shaves in the mirror? People change after much painful experience, not joy ful ones bouncing of other women. Change comes in many shades, however for the most of us.....change is painful but it is a learning bridge that leads us into the light...our own truth....and our light is what heals us and shows us our way to inner happiness.
This man needs to show a lot more than just 'words'. His actions would be best monitored for a while before deciding whether one could trust him. He says he has changed....I would like to ask what is it he felt he needed to change, and show me how he actually did it....lol
Blessings be yours in light and peace,
Harriett Potty ;)
2006-11-13 14:59:47 · answer #1 · answered by harriettpotty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, considering that you started this relationship by making out with another woman's boyfriend, and considering that you already knew that he cheated on his girlfriend with another woman before he cheated on his girlfriend with you, I think the question of whether or not he will change is pretty irrelevant. Sounds like your cheating hearts are made for each other, and I wish you the best!
2006-11-13 14:45:25 · answer #2 · answered by gerlach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry dear, people generally don't change. Especially as we already have established our personality when we reach certain of our adulthood. Unless someone goes through tremendous trauma, we don't change. The only hope that you have is that our perception changes, which means we can control our personality a little better as we get older but deep down what we have is already there and not going away.
2006-11-13 14:46:35 · answer #3 · answered by Believe me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People do change, but I doubt he has. He was drunk and kissing you while he was still with his girlfriend, and has cheated on her with other women. If you date him for 18 months without any problems, you can then decide to trust him. But you can't "decide" to trust him based on his lousy track record, he has to prove himself.
PS I wouldn't date this loser if you paid me, but that's just me.
2006-11-13 14:50:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well think of it this way he cheated on his last gurlfriend with you cause you all kissed and then he broke up with her and im sure he told her he loved her and would never do that to her once a dog alwayz a dog but its up to you just dont be upset when or if he does it to you cuz you knew what you were getting in to.
2006-11-13 14:45:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My guy told me 9 years ago the same thing. I believed him and am paying for it now. He cheated on me 8 or the 9 years.
2006-11-13 14:44:01 · answer #6 · answered by smwah345 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
in case you acquire a intercourse substitute for him he already knows you and you already be attentive to him. So in case you tell him you acquire a intercourse substitute for him it may desire to creep him out, hypothetically speaking of direction ;) If it potential something i've got self assurance that no person is flat gay or in the present day and that they could do the two if its with the wonderful individual. So perhaps you and him could desire to alter into something. yet i don't think of its going to paintings out so sturdy look getting over him :D
2016-10-17 06:11:37 · answer #7 · answered by kigar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is affection for one another, however; I would be cautious of what he has to say because men usually don't change that easily. It is possible that they can fall in love but to completely change??? Nah...
2006-11-13 14:45:48 · answer #8 · answered by shellybear0925 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has only been one month i think you need to give it some more time. Talk to him after an intimate moment it will get all his feelings out.
2006-11-13 14:44:41 · answer #9 · answered by mathis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea, people change...everyone likes to have fun while being young, once you find the true love or the right person to settle down with, people change....and they get bored or wild life!
2006-11-13 14:45:10 · answer #10 · answered by Mila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋