Desperate for answers... I live with my partner and our 18 month old son on 2 1/2 acres. My mother-in-law also lives on the property in a separate house. I have lived here for 4 1/2 years and am getting dangerously close to breaking point. I can't stand living here, but cannot leave as i can't separate my son from his dad. We are locked in to the mortgage (with mother-in-law) and i feel so much pressure in keeping the family together, as it all depends on me. If i leave, i break up the family, if i stay, i feel like i'm damaging my health with all this stress. I have to permanently plaster a smile on my face when inside i'm going insane! I want to keep my family together and happy, but i'm in tears every other day trying to figure out to cope with it all, as i don't see an end in sight for atleast another year... Please help!
2006-11-13 14:37:14 · 13 answers · asked by morgainne 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Find a support group. Get to know your neighbors and other members of the community either online or personally on your free time. Going through a crisis such as this is tough, but it can be made easier by having people to discuss matters with. The thought of having a regular set of people to take your mind off the situation at home allows you to not wallow too much on a situation that you have no other choice but to deal with ... think "Desperate Housewives" ;)
2006-11-13 15:12:52 · answer #1 · answered by jjerc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all...do a LOT of meditation/prayer! Second...DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!!! The little things & annoyances will drive you crazy if you let them. So, concentrate on the big stuff and what's REALLY important. Have you been totally up front with your partner about these feelings? You need to do that. I know it may be difficult, if not imposible to discuss your issues with your in-law, but is this a possibility for you? If your partner is open to your feelings and what you're going through, then you have some hope. Perhaps even some family counseling is an option? If you cannot find any solution, then you may have to take the last resort of leaving, just to maintain your sanity? Best wishes!
2006-11-13 22:50:42 · answer #2 · answered by livtru_always 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear it, but like you said, you want to keep the family together and you cannot just break all that up just for your own desires. It might be acceptable to do it, but there is your 18 month old son to think about! My parents were divorced after a few years of my birth, and i hated not having a dad to talk to about all the "guy stuff, and now I often wonder what would have happened to me if my parents didn't divorce and what kind of a man i would have become. So you should just keep on going, when it gets hard, just remind yourself that you are doing this for your son! His future should be worth more than anyting else in the world! And keep this in mind, "death is light as a feather, but duty is heavier than mountain" this is a great quote that got me through hard times when i couldn't stand my step dad and the way he treated me and my mom. So remember duty is heavier than mountain, and it is your duty to give a bright and wonderful future and a complete and fulfulling family to your son.
2006-11-13 22:45:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a very good quality in you.
you don't want to break a family.
looks like you are bored at this place, like some people, let's say are 5 member in the family..they are rich . they buy a mention.....the feelings in this place they get is emptiness.....big rooms and only 5 people.
on the other hand 5 people live in an apartment of 1 bed room.
they have a home , they feel full of life.
people , who live in big house , they have just a HOUSE.....but the people in apartment feel they have a HOME.
talk to your husband to take a vacation..or go to your family for sometime.all you need is a break........go to a big city for a change..first you will enjoy, then soon you will begin to miss your peacefull open world..and when you will come back you will be at peace.
do not let yourself go in depression
.tell your husband how much you love your family.he must be a good husband so you do not want to leave him.....but you must tell him what is bothering you.
THE BEST THING IS LET HIM READ YOUR QUESTION AND MY ANSWER.....GOOD LUCK
2006-11-13 22:59:33 · answer #4 · answered by Googly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may not be easy but try to focus on the postive things in your life. Maybe you can find a new hobby or do some exercise to keep your mind off of the stress. Talk to your partner about the stress and start making plans to move as soon as it's possible. You may also want to consider some counseling to help you deal. Good luck.
2006-11-13 22:41:00 · answer #5 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about this. use the lessons taught to us by nature. for example in a wolf pack there is the alpha male and the alpha female. They control the pack they're the only ones that are allowed to breed. they pick where to dig the den. They are on the top of the pecking order. they keep all the rest in line.in your pack you and your partner are the alpha pair. Also in the pack the pups are the most important members and if the other members don't think so then they need to be told the way of it. they do it now you do it.
2006-11-13 22:54:57 · answer #6 · answered by olampyone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I have been in your situation, only I didn't have child to worry about, well, my opinion is that you need to what is best for you and your child, i know your child is young, BUT I am sure he is definitely picking up on your stress. I lived with my husband and mother in law for a long time, finally I couldn't take it anymore, I told my husband that if we didn't move out I was leaving, we ended up moving out, then we still had problems, his mother, still kept calling and driving me crazy, he was a big mommas boy, then, I went out of town, with my sick grandma, he stayed at home, when I needed him the most, then I got home and kicked him out of our new place and filed for divorce. Now I am happier than ever, I am divorced now. GOoD LuCk!!! If you need anything email me alleybug_2003@yahoo.com
2006-11-13 22:52:00 · answer #7 · answered by alleybug_2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't give enough details about what is so wrong with this for anyone to give much valuable advice. I think it sounds as if you need professional help. Is there a pastor, counselor, or someone like that to talk to? You should consult with someone you trust to help you find some professional guidance.
2006-11-13 22:45:49 · answer #8 · answered by Godsgr8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you spoken to your husband? i don't know what the problem is, but you could try mariage counseling... or you could see a therapist to be treated for depression. life is your choice, and you are never trapped. get out to some play groups with your child, make some friends, whatever...take control of your life
2006-11-13 22:41:15 · answer #9 · answered by KB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as for me,im suggesting that u just try ur best to cope with it eventhough u r tired of it...cos i got this kind of experience b4...im lock into stepfather but in the end i overcome this problem by making them really as a part of my family n try to loved them more...so u can do it!!!!
2006-11-13 22:50:13 · answer #10 · answered by may 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋