what hardships did you have..financially, any advice? or what should i do to prepare before i get married???
2006-11-13 14:19:57 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Financial wasn't a big deal really. We don't fight about that. What we fight about is that he is a total slob and I'm constantly picking up his shi* off the floor.....it makes me absolutely crazy. He stinks up the bathroom.....he releases gas from every orifice....ugh! it's just gross! Had I known he would get "that" comfortable, I probably would have reconsidered everything.
2006-11-13 14:23:36 · answer #1 · answered by 2Good4U 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Being married is a whole other world. I'm on my 2nd marriage and neither time has been wedded newlywed bliss. My first marriage was full of hard work since we owned our own business. We worked together and lived together so we had to set boundaries early on. We had already discussed how to run our finances long before we said "I do".
My 2nd marriage has been wonderful and full of hard work and trials as well. The 2nd time around has actually been much more challenging since we both came from previous marriages, we have children and set careers. Again, we discussed the finances long before we got married and we also attended a marriage retreat.
The retreat wasn't for struggling relationships but rather for making good marriages great. They taught how to "fight fair" and how to remain friends and stay in love long after the honeymoon was over. I highly recommend it.
The best advice I can give is to make sure your and your husband have amazing communication and respect for one another. You are both coming from different backgrounds and I've found it's the little things that create friction, not the big issues. Things like how to squeeze the toothpaste or who fed the dog last.
Remember that you are best friends and all healthy relationships have ups and downs. The ups should always outweigh the downs.
Congrats on your wedding! I wish you a lifetime of happiness!
2006-11-13 15:18:36 · answer #2 · answered by C J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Being married has been a blessin gin my life. It is very weird to live with a man and understand how there mind works it is a never ending battle. Money is an issue but it is never something that is talked about we just have to be more careful than normal. You both will have to get used to each other and your personalities and that has been the hardest. I am a girl so I have moods and I can be a little edgy and very sensitive and he is always very confused by me and with him he is very stubborn and is very set in his ways of doing things. So when you realize these things it does make it hard but you always remember that you love each other and you talk about how you feel. The thing that has really made me sd is that we have only been married 5 months and already that whole dating mode has died. We rarely go out and he considers going out as groceries. The gifts stop and that fuzzy feeling isn't as often anymore. Plus my husband is in college so it is hard for him and he gone alot. That may all seem bad but as long as you are madly in love you will have an amazing marriage despite it all.
2006-11-14 01:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by Lindsay H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I got married in July, so we are still newlyweds. We paid for most of the wedding on our own, and all of the honeymoon. We did not budget well and started off trying to catch up. It seems we continue to make budgets and not stick to them. We put my name on his checking account just before we got married, and couldnt figure out how to keep a current balance on our money, since we both spend money out of the same account. I felt I was burdening him by making him tell me every dime he spent so I could balance a checkbook. So we just looked at the account online and ended up with a lot of nsf charges. We're now using one checkbook, and we pay all the bills twice a month. Everything in between he just has to tell me about, save the receipt or whatever. We are still bickering over stupid stuff that doesnt really matter but it's gotten better. I was so thrilled last week, we went 5 whole days without fighting. I know that's silly, but when you dont feel like you have alone time, its hard to get used to.
2006-11-14 02:03:53 · answer #4 · answered by rdnkchic2003 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It was generally wonderful! I had never lived with a man before I got married, so there were adjustments there, like practical ones. It was so weird to sleep with someone in the same bed! After about three weeks, he elbowed me in the eye during the night, and I got a shiner. Explain THAT to your mom! It was pretty funny, actually. Got lots of ribbing at work. Financially, it was tight, as I was the only one working at first. Then, when he got a job, we worked too different of hours. I worked from 3 - 9 p.m., and he a regular day, with a commute to a town about a half-hour away.
Thank goodness we were totally compatible in things like values, religion, family, etc.. That's the biggest advice I would give you before you get married - talk everything out!
Emotionally, etc. about being first married (and even now after many years together), it was wonderful. Nice to have someone to share everything with, play with, cry with....
2006-11-13 22:48:58 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's been wonderful :) We've been married a year and together for a total of 3 years. It was a very smooth transition.
The only sad part was that his mom was diagnosed with cancer 6 months after the wedding, and she passed away the month of our 1st anniversary. It was hard watching her decline...and knowing she won't be there as we journey through life together.
2006-11-13 14:25:36 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You might fight about the finances. We fought about money before we joined our accounts. Now that we only use the one, we don't fight about money so much.
Really, it's the little things that you'll fight about, the ones associated with learning how to live together. Cleanliness, chore divisions, bad habits, etc. All you can do to prepare for those is to always remember that YOU have bad habits too.
2006-11-13 14:57:03 · answer #7 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It still feels like we're newlyweds, even after all these years. If there's love and compromise...everything will work out just fine so don't worry and just be yourself.
2006-11-13 20:04:37 · answer #8 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Total adjustment to one another. A lot of differences will arise as you go on living in the same house, and sleep in one room and share the bed with your partner.
2006-11-13 14:32:57 · answer #9 · answered by josie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well,i'm not married yet and my boyfriend just asked me to marry him just yesterday.Well,when i was younger my parents went through the same thing,so they fixed it by talking it out and remembering how they loved each other to not even let one thing ruin their relatioship,so you know you should tell him how you feel and maybe he'll understand.
2006-11-13 14:44:20 · answer #10 · answered by ~misZ khImMi bHeibi~ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋