How to help my toddler be comfortable at friends & relatives homes?

Question

My almost 18 month old gets extremely clingy when we go to family or friends houses. She wants to be held all the time and cries some times just from people looking at her(especially if she's already cranky). Even though she's familiar with the people at the house. At our house she's perfectly fine, even around the same people that she gets scared of otherwise. And at stores or public places she has no problems chatting with strangers. She learned to say hi and says it to everyone(and everything) we pass by. It wouldn't be such an issue, but people have started to give me a hard time. Accuse me of spoiling her and picking her up when ever she cries. Which is completely untrue. She definately has her fair share of time outs and temper tantrums. and I tell people this, but they're like" uh huh, yeah, sure you do". Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

Also, pretty much all of the houses I'm refering to she's been to at least more than once. Sometimes she's even played without any problems. But most of the time she won't leave my lap. Even when theres other kids to play with. And you can tell she wants to play too.

Answer 1

Just imagine being her. You're 18 months old and in a house full of people and you don't know anything about that place. It's all unfamiliar to you and you're not sure whether you should trust it or be afraid of your new surroundings. What would you want?

I think the best way to deal with kids when they're like this is to comfort them and instead of telling them "it's okay" show them it's okay. Walk around and say "Look at that!" or "Let's sit on the couch..oh it's a soft couch isn't it?" and just give a positive reaction to everything. Kids at that age look for reactions, and if you seem happy and okay with everything then she will too.

Answer 2

My question is this - how do I get my 3 1/2 year old and 1 1/2 year old to be LESS comfortable at friends and relatives homes!!! My boys will stay with anybody, explore anything, and act like themselves anywhere. I suppose I know what you're saying, Maybe a happy medium between the two of us? Blink your eyes three times, snap both hands, and wiggle your nose - and maybe they'll balance out! I wish! Unfortunately, I've found that different children just flat out have different personalities. My sister's little girl is the same as what you describe, and for her it's familiarity that makes her more comfortable. Also, her mom taught her about pictures, she LOVES pictures - and everyone has them, so she can take her to other people's houses, and show her the pictures and it's something familiar to her. Even if it's not pictures, there are things that EVERYONE has :) You might try that! Best wishes, and if you figure it out, let me know !

Answer 3

If she doesnt feel comfortable at other people houses what are you gonna do, but hold and comfort her. Thats all part of being a mommy. What kind of love are you showing her by letting her cry it out. I know how you feel because my 15 mth old son is the same way. It actually doesnt bother me at all. I know when I'm out of my normal environment I dont feel very comfortable so you can imagine what its like for a baby. Who cares if people think your spoiling her. Thats your baby. I know with Aiden I just let him cling and as we kept going back he'd venger a little farther each time until now hes fine. When we go to strangers I let him cling. Enjoy it now, because as they get older they wont let mommy as much and believe me you'll miss it. My oldest is 8 and she was never clingy. Shed go anywhere with anyone anytime..lol..so to me its a nice change. Just enjoy your daughter and if you dont have to go to this peoples houses who give you a hard time then stay away. Its not any of their business and to be honest if you let her cry then your seen as insensitive and maybe a bad mom. You can't please people so just do whats best for you and your daughter..she'll grow of it. Good luck and God bless

Answer 4

When you go to a relatives house, give her time to warm up. Maybe take her on a tour of the house so she isn't worrying about what might be down the hall. After a bit she should get comfortable enough that you can set her down, then a while later she may want to explore on her own. Just let her warm up at her own pace.

Answer 5

Don't worry about spoiling her. You spoil her if you give her candy every time she cries for it. You do not spoil her by giving her love and attention when she cries. Please pick her up whenever she cries- she needs that (plus the discipline, of course. You are on the right track.)

Are people nice to her? If they're overbearing, overly critical, etc, that could be a problem.

18 months is a normal age for being clingy.

You could avoid those people's houses.

Answer 6

You are almost singing my song. With the exception of the saying hi to strangers. My daughter is now 8 years old and has had anxiety since birth. We have been seeing a psychiatrist for the last two years. She has severe anxiety disorders and had a mini breakdown in first grade. That is what caused us to seek medical help. School has been very hard for her. Others need to leave you alone about this, bless her little heart. She can't help it. Give her time she may grow out of it. Best wishes to you.

Answer 7

you are the only which carried your toddler for 9 months, gave delivery to him and shelter him. you're a determine and you will improve your son even though you rattling properly please. Your parenting techniques are only as valid as hers. a million. No you do not would desire to stress the donning of trainers indoors. shoes are truthfully very undesirable to your feet and that they make studying to stroll properly perplexing for little ones. go away shoes for the exterior. And no your toddler won't pitch a slot sooner or later. i've got in no way considered a toddler do this. 2. Pre-college and kindergarten exist entirely for the purpose of socialization. you do not would desire to throw your toddler into playgroups with college-age infants. Your toddler heavily isn't a social outcast because of the fact of it. go with your gut whilst it comprises your son.

Answer 8

I always let my daughter pack a backpack with toys and movies she wants to play with to make sure she has things of her own to feel comfortable around, and then I just let her ease into any situation at her own pace.