How does one deal with the guilt of " I could of, I should of did this, why didn't I do that" when a loved

Question

when a loved one passes away

Answer 1

I think we all get comfortable in life and you just always think your loved ones will be there the "next time" No one goes around thinking about people dieing. We also get too busy in life and take things for granted. All you can do is turn it into a possitive thing, a wake up call if you will and maybe tell the ones still in your life that you love them, maybe hug more often or share a compliment a little more often. None of us are perfect, but don't be so hard on yourself and think of all the good things you remember about that person and times shared. It helped me.

Answer 2

Murray's gurl: Dealing with our feelings of guilt, anger and shame are feelings that most of us experience when someone close to us dies. Those, "should a", "could a", and "would a" guilt trips are just paralyzing to us. I urge you to find someone close to you, ( friend, relative, teacher, guidance counsellor, church pastor) and spill your heart out to her or him. You must of really loved this person, who died, and are feeling terrible over it. My heart goes out to you; the pain or sting of death hits all people near to the deceased. Take care of yourself and work through your grief, as this is quite acceptable ! It will take time - take the time to do so.

Answer 3

I've buried both of my parents already. To my experience, when someone dies, everyone feels guilty about something. You can't dwell on it. Hang on to the good memories and move on. Use what you've learned so you don't make the same mistakes again. If you love someone, tell them. And tell them often.