My boyfriend and I have been going out for over a year. I really love him, but I don't think I'm in love with him anymore. Next year I'm going to college 2 1/2 hours away from him. I really just want to be single and live up my senior year, but I love him and it's hard to let go. He gets really upset everytime I say we should take a break, and he says we can work out our differences. It's always the same old thing. We argue all the time and I am always looking for something better. We are too serious about eachother, and we're both really possesive. I'm always really bored when I'm around him. But I still love him and his with all of my heart. I've been pondering this for months. I just honestly don't have the slightest clue what to do, either way I lose. Please help me. Ask follow ups if you have to...should we break up?! HELP!! Thank you so much.
2006-11-13 13:12:12 · 14 answers · asked by MarilynMonroe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you can love someone, but not be in love with them. and if you feel like you should at least take a break from each other, he should respect you, and give you some space. if he keeps pushing you to stay in the relationship, and that's not what you want, he's going to keep on until he pushes you away from him for good.
If you're bored, you guys argue all the time, etc. it sounds like you should take a break. but that is ultimately your decision. you sound like a really sweet person with a good heart, and you don't want to do anything to hurt your boyfriend, but if the relationship is hurting you, it's not fair for him to expect you to stay in it. you deserve to be happy. and you shouldn't make yourself stay because of guilt.
I hope this helps you out. just remember, sometimes you have to do what's best for you.
2006-11-13 13:36:35 · answer #1 · answered by atiana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the EXACT same situation girl seriously, my boyfriend does that too but he's all talk and no action, I'm going away to college 3-1/2 hrs away from him. You should follow your heart even though breaking up with him will seem hard, why should you carry out your last days unhappy with someone you are bored with? I understand you love him but love is not enough nowadays this is your life...your future. Do you want him to stay in your future, to keep him as a part in your life? Think ahead, you both are gonna hurt for a while but that's what life's about, choices & sacrafices. If you know how you feel and you have your head on straight you think hard and you'll know what to do hun :) Good Luck
2006-11-13 21:21:26 · answer #2 · answered by FELICIA H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's young. What, 21? He's a child for all intensive purposes. Emotionally neither one of you are ready for a relationship of any seriousness, and that's okay. That's what you need to understand more than anything....that it's okay to move forward, because that is what you will be doing. I don't know how many times I have heard this story from girls that want someone that will light the night up and keep the day afloat with reality and laughter....Nothing worse than a boring guy under the age of 30. You're on that bridge girl where you are about to discover something new and absorb parts of life you've only been dreaming about. (whisper)...and, if you need some help, email me(lol). Good Luck!
2006-11-13 21:18:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My oppinion is that you are still young and have your whole life ahead of you to be w/one person. I think you answered your own question by saying you love but are not IN LOVE w/him and that you would like to experince life at college. It's better you get it all out now before you get married and it's too late to do the things you wish you had done. If you two are meant to be you will be. You know the old saying; "If you love something set it free.If it comes back to you it was yours, If it doesn't, it never was. "(something like that) You need to have some fun and experience life and then see how you both feel. Who knows, maybe you will break-up and you might realize you made a big mistake and can't live w/out him. or maybe you may just save yourself from being w/someone out of obligation to his feelings? Good Luck!
2006-11-13 21:22:15 · answer #4 · answered by same girl/new name :) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't enjoy spending time with him, you're not doing him any favors by staying with him. If you break up with him, it will be hard for him at first, but he'll eventually meet someone who isn't bored with him. Also, there's no way you're going to stay together once you go away to college, if you don't even want to be with him now. You should probably end it.
Either way you lose? Either way you win. Either you stay with a person you say you love (that's a win) or you break up and live it up for your last year in high school (also a win).
2006-11-13 21:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by Jen A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes...you should break up....you should be saying things like, when we are together everything is great, not that your bored...you should be saying how much you will miss him when you go the college, not that you want to live it up without him..You always argue, why? You don't lose either way, you only lose when you do the wrong thing.
2006-11-13 21:18:22 · answer #6 · answered by smt1967 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a big diff. between loving someone and being in love. senior year should be fun for you, you shouldnt feel tied down to someone and miss out on anything. you're young, and i dont think your planning to marry anytime soon, so why not? things arent going the way you want them to, so why continue. it seems to me like you already know what you want to do. its hard to let someone go after a year, but if it doesnt benefit anyone, why should either party stay in the situation. are you guys in the same grade? who is older? have you had a previous relationship before this on? just talk to him. Let him know how you truly feel. you are not forced to stay in this relationship and he cant make you.
2006-11-13 21:19:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!!! that's a lot to consider. after much thinking i say break up w/ him. reason why is bcuz, if u really love him, the best thing to do is let him go. if u try to stay together u will only end up hurting him. the saying "if u love someone, let them go" applies to this situation 100%. i know this might still hurt him, but u should explain to him that it's for the better.
2006-11-13 21:22:04 · answer #8 · answered by rieshafreeman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what I think because I was going threw this too. I think you need to take that brake from him because when you guys go apart you can realize what you want you can't find that out still being with him. my ex broke up with me because he felt that he would just be better with out so we broke up and I try to get him back but I moved on and then he realize he wanted me back that he missed me and so I gave it a shot and we both just came that we just missed each other presents and we was better as friends so just try to be apart and trust you will find out and be apart for a while not just a week or 2. let me know how it goes
2006-11-13 21:18:06 · answer #9 · answered by joestar909 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
holy sh*t. i swear you sound just like me about a year ago. trust me, what you want to do is let go now, it will hurt less later when your away having fun. get rid of the drama ASAP, then go live it up. it may sound kinda harsh now, but youll be glad u did later.
think about this (as hard as it may seem): the fact that your away from him, you have to trust him, and usually im hearing that guys will cheat. i mean, your not around..what would u know?
its too much of a risk. try and let go, if not, try to work it out.
best of luck.
2006-11-13 21:16:37 · answer #10 · answered by sh8dybrady120 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋