ive been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years. im 21 he's 29 and all my friends think we should've got engaged on my 21st birthday, i actually had to warn him not to ask me. its not that i dont want to marry him as im sure one day we will, just not yet. im way too young to be gettin married and if i got engaged now we'd only end up being engaged for about 5 years which is pointless as when i do get engaged i want it to be for 2 years max. my boyfriend loves me and he would marry me tomorrow if agreed and i cant help feel like im letting him down by having to wait for me.
My main worry now is that ive always dreamt that when i do get proposed to it will be all romantic and spontaneous, now i cant help feeing like my lifes mapped out and il wake up one morning and it'l be like rite we'l get engaged. anyone else feel like this ?? or am i just being silly ??
2006-11-13 11:26:06 · 11 answers · asked by Caz 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Blimey! What a rational girl you seem!
That all your friends think you should have got engaged is madness!! You did the right thing!
You have your whole life in front of you.... You're happy with this guy so why make a committment that, currently, is not something you want?
Chances are, if he had proposed, you would have said yes (coz you love him!) but then started to feel trapped/ resentful for having it planned so early....
Its likely it WILL still be spontaneous. Eventually there will be a time when its not scary/ feels right and he'll be able to tell and it'll just happen!
Good luck and well done for being SO sensible!!
(i knew about 3 couples that got engaged at 21 with the intention of a long long engagement and it never lasted.... best wait til it IS right!)
2006-11-13 11:46:31 · answer #1 · answered by spagbolfordinner 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, everyone expects to get engaged on their birthday, valentines day, christmas, new year etc,
You have already said your happy the way you are, why should anything change? If your boyfriend knows how you feel and respects your wishes then don't worry. I had a short engagement (about 2 years) why get engaged and have to wait years before you even think about the big day!
You will both know when the time is right, just enjoy being together right now, no doubt he will pop the question when you least expect it when the times right, and i bet it will be romantic.
2006-11-13 11:33:23 · answer #2 · answered by zeldieuk2002 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations, you have got here across the guy of your desires. i think of you may talk on your guy, tell him that confident, you do prefer to marry him and which you would be able to settle for his concept in a heart beat, yet that it may could desire to be an prolonged engagement (some human beings are engaged for some years) in view which you prefer to do another issues till now you're married. Small doubts are commonly used, yet I knew the 2nd my husband and that i began relationship that we could be married and that we could be collectively continuously. we've been married 2 and a one million/2 months, so it is fantastically on the brink of continuously ;) All kidding aside, in case you be attentive to he's the wonderful guy, it is not significant no rely in case you're married or not. If he knows which you will at last marry him, then it is going to not be a huge deal to him. in case you be attentive to he desires to marry you yet you prefer to attend, perhaps you supplies you him some variety of timeline so he isn't continually guessing at whilst he will have the potential to call you his spouse.
2016-10-17 06:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i disagree ive bin with my man 4 8months and weve talked about it and we know were gonna spend our lives 2gether but it was my idea i asked him to see what hes response was i asked "will u propose 2 me on x-mas eve" 2 my surprise he told me, have u bin speaking 2 my mom did she tell u? hed only spent 2months planning it he hasnt told me much but im so excited i couldnt ask 4 a better presant and even though i know when its gonna happen i still find it very special and 2 know that hed already planned it when i was asking just 2 hear his reply makes it 10 times better i know we'l be 2gether 4 ever lots of people say that and split up but i know and so does my man whos with me now i hope ul work through this and be as happy as us take care and dont stress the more u stress the more ul make it into a bigger deal than what it actually is
2006-11-13 11:53:44 · answer #4 · answered by the one and only 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't get married until you're ready or you'll regret it. make sure he understands that you do love him but you're not comfortable getting engaged right now. talk to him, don't keep him in the dark, also, listen to what he has to say so you know how he stands. miscommunication and no communication will make it harder on both of you. if you love and trust each other, waiting a little longer won't hurt you. it's a piece of paper in the end and your feelings for each other are more important.
2006-11-13 11:49:56 · answer #5 · answered by alicia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are quite right to wait if you dont feel ready. I can see your point why you want to wait. As long as your boyfriend understands this too, then there should be no problem.
2006-11-13 22:08:50 · answer #6 · answered by Catwhiskers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is usual and normal to feel like this but have a chat with your boyfriend, tell him how you r feeling and he'll understand. :) tell him, you guys got all the time in da world, enjoy life first. :)
2006-11-13 11:57:09 · answer #7 · answered by Amore vole fe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are really young and still have these fantasies about how you would like things to be. Reality is different, but that doesn't mean it can't still be wonderful.
2006-11-13 22:54:29 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you know what you want lol. just dont mess this bloke around. you seem mature and level headed for your young years.
2006-11-13 11:40:08 · answer #9 · answered by Hunny Bun... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't put the cart in front of the horse.
2006-11-13 13:01:27 · answer #10 · answered by treday25 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋