I told him - he doesn't have to worry - I don't want to marry him. He then says "You don't know how to take constructive criticism. Some people take help negatively or positively its all how you accept it. Does anyone think this is constructive? I am 5'2 and I wieght 135 lbs - I don't think I need to lose weight- especially for this loser! Any suggestions? Why would someone want to marry someone they if they don't like they way they look anyway?
2006-11-13 11:10:07 · 63 answers · asked by sdennisem 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My husband says your perfect, and if we practiced plural marriage, we'd invite you over. Tell that loser that you'll marry him after he grows a brain, grows a larger penis, and makes at least $250,000 a year. Because God forbid, someone should ask 'how'd he get her?'.
2006-11-13 11:59:31 · answer #1 · answered by ValentineP 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He should be lucky to have you. He should love skinny, chubby, or fat. My husband bless his heart in our 27 years, has never ever said anything about my weight. Believe me I have been heavy, the only time he ever said anything was when I lost too much weight. Honey, what about the people that says, "how did he get her" or "what does she see in him" that train goes both ways.
If you are happy with your weight, which sounds perfect to me, then go find you someone who would be happy to have you on their arm no matter what size you are. A little story to tell you,
my friend had her stomach stapled, she's lost about 140lbs, her aunt seen her and said "Oh, you look so good, you are a beautiful girl, I would have known it". My friend said, "She's always been beautiful, she just lost a few pounds".
There is such a thing as constructive criticism, I have no problem with that. But your boyfriend isn't giving your constructive criticism, he's giving you a ultimatums. If you want to be with me, then you got to be this way or that way. Well, Honey show him a thing or two, and whatever if you started giving him "constructive criticism" bet he wouldn't like it. You be happy, and there is someone out there, that wants you for who you are and how you are, with "the ultimatums"
God bless us all............
Ps. one more story, and I will leave you alone...another friend who had been guite large had been dating and married a young man who just loved her with all his heart. She lost down to a size 10, she looked hot, and all her friends advised her, that now that she was so good looking, why not drop her husband, she could do better than him now. Guess what? She drop the friends and kept the husband!
2006-11-13 11:48:21 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is a loser. He is making excuses. No one is going to ask how you got him. Hell they may be asking how the hell he got you! He sounds like he has a big ego. How does he know he even looks good enough for anyone to wonder how you got him? Drop this loser. It shouldn't matter how much weight you have on you. If the guy loves you then he does. I gained about 10 lbs before my husband and I got married. I'm 5'5 150lbs and he loves every curve I have. i'm not fat and you don't sound like you are either. He is suppose to love you no matter what. My husband tells me I can lose weight if I want to make ME feel better but he would never require me to do so. Your guy will only be more critical of you as time goes by and gravity takes effect on your body or god forbid you have a couple kids and gain weight or get stretch marks. Get out of this now and find someone to love you for you. If he is concerned about you losing weight it should be for health reasons, not the sake of how you look and what people might say.
2006-11-13 11:17:09 · answer #3 · answered by Lovemykids 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Does anyone think this is constructive? I am 5'2 and I wieght 135 lbs - I don't think I need to lose weight- especially for this loser! Any suggestions? Why would someone want to marry someone they if they don't like they way they look anyway?"
I THINK YOU JUST ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION SWEETIE!
2006-11-13 11:46:39 · answer #4 · answered by summer ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First problem is it sounds like you guys are still together and you are right about one thing...HE IS A LOSER. That is totally wrong for him to say that to you and that is not constructive criticism at all...That's just out right dogging you. You don't deserve that and from what you said your height and weight is, you aren't fat at all. You should only want to lose weight for yourself...not someone else. So he shouldn't even be your boyfriend anymore. Get rid of him and find someone who will accept you the way you accept yourself. He's a loser.
2006-11-13 11:13:10 · answer #5 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lose the extra baggage and I'm talking about the guy not you girl.What an ***.My guy said the same thing so I left him now I'm dating this gorgeous guy who is 50x better then the ex.You don't need constructive criticism what you need is a man who will love all of you.Tell him you could lose the weight but he'll always be an ungrateful jerk.Trust me I never thought I could find a good looking gentle hearted man being a little over weight but girl there are some hot guys out there that like big women.(I'm not saying your overweight,For you height and weight I'd say your curvy)
2006-11-14 09:53:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is rude and insensitive. By no means can you be considered obese and if you are happy and at a healthy weight for your body type then I would tell him to take a hike. You do not need to be with someone who tries to run your self esteem down. If he had said - hey how about if we both join the gym, I want us to look our best in our wedding photos, OK- thats constructive critisizm- he is just a selfish jerk. I have no idea why he would say something like that to the person he is supposed to love but if I were you I would not set any wedding dates. Good Luck- I hope he realizes the error of his ways and apologizes with a good reason for his behavior.
2006-11-13 11:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by therealprinsess 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are happy with yourself, thats all that matters. Last time I checked, the statement your boyfriend made was not an example of constructive criticism. I'm glad to hear you don't take what he said to be the truth, and you seem to have confidence in yourself and your appearance. I just hope you aren't taking those kind of critical comments on a regular basis. That wouldn't be too good for your mental health if it were like that. I hope you continue to stay true to yourself and make decisions based on what makes you happy, not someone else.
2006-11-13 11:30:16 · answer #8 · answered by sweetienat123 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't exactly HUGE as you are this very minute.
What this man has said to you is beyond cruel. He needs help.
I suggest you find someone who loves you for who & what you are.
This man does not & has no intentions of marrying you once you do lose weight.
There are many reasons people marry someone that isn't up to their physical standards, none I really understand. It never makes sense to me.
I had a woman ask me ththat very question, "Well then, how did you get him?!" a few years ago because my fellow is a wonderful musician/singer drummer & I'm not musical. His ex is a singer/guitarist. It took me so aback, I couldn't think of anything to say. Some people are just mean. And mean people suck.
2006-11-13 12:35:59 · answer #9 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
EXACTLY! If you feel comfortable with yourself then what's the problem? I think that if the person themselves feel they have to lose weight then by all means go ahead but if you're going to do it because someone wants you to, that's not a good reason at all. If he doesn't accept you for the way you are now, then he's just not the one for you to marry. Constructive criticism my a## - you need to tell him you're not willing to marry him unless he changes his attitude! You deserve better:)
2006-11-13 11:26:41 · answer #10 · answered by albert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like the way you are willing to tell him where to get off.
The truth of the matter is that no one knows what life will do to them thirty years from now. Wrinkles, illnesses, pregnancies and operations all take a toll on the body, you love someone for what they are, not for what they look like, or you will lose you loser to the second wife when you get a bit older, and older happens to everyone. People should look the best they can, dress neatly and be clean and well groomed. If he can't love you now, just the way you are, who needs him?
2006-11-13 11:22:40 · answer #11 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋