what is a safe age for a child to find out that there is no santa, also, how should you go about revealing it?

Answer 1

I'm enclosing the same answer I gave someone else to a very similar question a few months ago...."How do I tell my child that father Christmas isn't real"
At the bottom is her response to my answer...
_____________________________________________________Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

I think she has reached the point where it is necessary to admit the truth...
But there are ways of saying it ...

Try telling her this way:..

Yes, Father Christmas does exist...he is in your parents love for you, and will be there for all your life, You will find him in every christmas gift that is given you with their love. And you will pass him on to the next generation when one day you have your own children.
Father Christmas is the spirit of giving, he lives in every generous heart. That is why he lives forever, even though he isn't really a little, fat, old bearded man coming down a chimney!

20 5
Asker's Rating:
I think this answer was the most mature, kind and sensitive. Also the explanation of how to tell her was beautiful and thoughtful. Many many thanks abuela nany.
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The age depends on the child, you will see when the child starts doubting and asking questions... That is the time to reveal who Santa Claus/Father Christmas really is...Defintely do it with tact and love, and there should be no problem...

Answer 2

Most kids start to figure it out when they're 8 or 9. I teach 3rd grade, and it's interesting to see which students still believe and which ones think it's a load of crap. The best way to reveal it is by sitting down with your child and explaining the reason behind the story of Santa. You might even talk about how many different cultures have their own version of Santa. Then calmly lay it on him/her. Chances are your child has already suspected that there's no Santa. I remember feeling betrayed by my parents because they had lied to me for so long about it. But I got over it pretty quickly. :) If you explain the good intentions behind Santa and the joy that the idea of Santa brings to kids, it will soften the blow. Good luck!

Answer 3

The safe age is when your children began to ask slightly veiled questions about Santa. With mine this has happened around 9 or so, and I was fairly straightforward about it. I confirmed that there really was no fat man in a red suit living up at the North Pole. However, we have always believed that Santa was a real person- a bishop named Nicholas, who is the patron saint of children. We believe that saints are living in Heaven, and their spirits can still help and inspire us, which is what the spirit of Saint Nicholas does. In his spirit of giving, we have acted in his place. I reassure the child that the spirit is alive and well, and now they have joined the ranks of those who can act in the spirit of giving and recieving, instead of being a child who simply recieves. The first Christmas without the mystery is probably the hardest for them, and I make sure I point out that benefits of being the giver and knowing that you have brought happiness to another. Although the toys may break and be forgotten, the memory of the day and the happiness it brought are yours forever. I also make sure to involve them in "Santa" duties, helping to wrap a present or two, or even act as messenger to deliver wishes. Involving them in actually becoming Santa seems to help the most, and I don't doubt they feel more important doing it because it makes them more grown up. We have six children, and at the moment only the two youngest are believers. The older children take great delight in their Santa roles, and being part of the best secret of Christmas. So while Santa isn't a fat man from the North Pole anymore, his spirit is still alive and well at our home. I think that's the best part of the story anyway, that the spirit of love and giving is still with us long after the suit goes away.

Answer 4

My children kind of figured it out on their own around 9 or 10. My neighbor's daughter is 11 and just realized there wasn't a santa. Her mom confirmed it. There will be some kids who's parents tell them early on who will of course try to tell your child that there is no Santa when they are 5 or 6. I don't believe in affirming this. My daughter had this similar situation, and I asked her what she believed. She believed there was a Santa and I told her "that's what's important. You need to base it on your child's disposition. Fantasy and imagination is crucial to a child's development, and I believe that as long as they don't go into middle school believing in Santa and other mystical characters, then it's up to you. You can also show your child pictures of St. Nicholas (a swedish saint) from whom our Santa is derived.

Play it by ear. Trust your heart, and your judgement. Remember our children today have to grow up so fast, that if they can retain just a small portion of childhood, the longer is better.

One thing is you are not lying to your child when you talk about Santa. Some might say you are, but young children aren't capable of understanding the dynamics of fantasy, tradition, and "the spirit of Christmas" At 9 or 10, they can, and they can retain that fantasy for the younger children in your home and even help "spread the joy of Santa." Kids love secrets and to be part of one is a huge deal.

Good luck and trust your heart.

Answer 5

I think any age is safe to find out the truth about santa. If you want to be the one to break the news to them, I would tell them around or before kindergarten, since there will always be at least one kid at school who spills about santa. Thats when I started wondering and asked my Mom, who told me the truth. No doubt the child will be disappointed, as I was...but its nice while it lasts. I was about 6 or 7 by the way, and got over it pretty quickly. Kids will always be happy to get presents I'm sure, no matter who brings them!

Answer 6

Kids usually figure it out on their own via their friends or the television around 7 or 8, you don't have to break it to the per se.

My mother actually never told me that there was no santa, she still insists that she believes in him or evades the question with some remark about the magic of christmas, which was cute.

Answer 7

I don't think it is wise to tell a child there is no Santa Claus at any age. Children tend to come to this conclusion on their own at some point before the age of ten or so. Let the child believe in it until they realize Santa is not really real. After all Santa is one of the great wonders of childhood, so let the child enjoy for as long as it lasts. I think most kids came to this conclusion on their own. I know I did and so did my own kids and most everyone else. Childhood is short!

Answer 8

chances are the your child is going to find out about Santa from school friends well before you want to tell him - her. As far as reveling the "great let down" there's no reason you can't tell your child the story of St. Nick or the story of Christmas and what Christmas is all about....Question?...just because you buy the gifts, do you REALLY know there's no Santa? :) lol

Answer 9

That was such a sad time for me. My girls were 8 and 9 when they found out. I think they already knew............. they were asking A LOT of questions. I think they just wanted the truth.

One Easter they wrote the Easter Bunny a note, it said,
Are you a boy or girl?
please write back.

so I wrote back,

" I am not a boy or a girl. I am The Easter Bunny, Santa Clause,and The Tooth Fairy

BUT my most important job is being your MOM,"

Then I explained that it was fun to pretend, but there comes a time that they needed to learn the truth. I reassured them that they would still be receiving presents from these characters because we all enjoyed it.

They were fine with it, they told me that they were pretty sure it was me anyway.

I kept that letter.

I think when they are starting to ASK questions it's time to be honest. it they're not asking, I think I would wait.
GOOD LUCK!

Answer 10

Any age is "safe" for your child to learn the truth.

As for revealing it, you could make sure all of his/her presents under the tree say "From Mom/Dad with love" or something to that effect instead of "From Santa." The kid should get the hint.

But if he/she asks why Santa didn't bring any presents, then it may be time to admit that you're a big, fat liar. Or you could keep on lying; perhaps you could say that Santa retired, or that he was shot by an overzealous NRA member who mistook him for a burglar, or that he's outsourcing the duty of giving gifts because overpopulation has made it impossible for him to visit every child in one night.

Or, you could point out to the child that he/she is such a big boy/girl that he/she just doesn't need Santa anymore. That might make him/her feel pretty good, and more grown up than his/her peers whose parents continue to perpetuate a falsehood.

Best of luck, fibber!