My friend recently died and me and my husband now care for her 16 month old daughter,we are trying to raise her as our own daughter as her mother asked us to and my husband is doing this very well its just she has started to call my husband dada and me mommy and this is really hard for me to accept as i feel like she is forgeting her mother all she does all day is follow me around the house,my husband says babys get attached to people easy.is all this normal?
2006-11-13 10:11:04 · 10 answers · asked by tamika_follow 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
if you adopted a baby would you want them 2 call you mommy?dont worry when she is old enough you can tell her all about her mom,sorry for your loss,i hope everything goes well.
2006-11-13 10:16:46 · answer #1 · answered by daleswife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At this point, let her call you mama & dada. She probably has forgotten her mom. If you are raising her as your own, then do it. Don't try to fill her memories with a person she does not remember right now. Just because you feel weird about it, don't keep her at arms length. When she is OLDER, then you can show her pictures of her mom & be able to explain to her who her mom is & that she LOVED her. You can explain to her that even if you are not her birth mom & dad you love just as much as if you had given birth to her. She is too young to let this bother you at this time. Your friend asked you & your husband to raise her daughter like she was your own, which means allowing the child to call you mama & dada. If you try to discourage her, you are NOT raising her as your own.
I understand your wanting to keep her mother's memory alive, but give the kid a break, she is too young to remember someone she didn't really know. You & your husband are her world now, there will come a time when letting her know who her mom was will be right. Let her grow up a bit & treat her like she is your own, as the mom wanted.....
I don't mean to sound cruel, but do you honestly remember ANYTHING from when you were 16 months old?????
2006-11-13 18:42:15 · answer #2 · answered by More Lies & More Smoke Screens 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's normal. When I was younger, I babysat a baby who thought I was her mom. Because her mother was ill, she wasn't able to spend a lot of time with her, so I'd go over after school everyday to feed her, bathe her and play with her. We spent a lot of time together and I think she started to call me mama because I cared for her like her mother did.
The baby is responding to the attention and affection that you give her. She knows that she can depend on you. So, you are her mom now, the nurturing woman who cares for her. I think you and your husband are great people for taking on this responsibility. That baby deserves to have a mommy and a daddy. Congratulations!
2006-11-13 18:39:45 · answer #3 · answered by Miss Jay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is completely normal. I can see why this makes you feel awkward, but technically you are her mom and dad. You two are the ones who will be raising the child, and nuturing her to become a young healthy adult. When she is old enough to understand, explain to her what happened, and that she was the paternal mother, and you are the maternal mother. If your friend wanted you to have the child, then she knew this would happen, so it's what she wanted!!!!!!
2006-11-13 19:35:08 · answer #4 · answered by Me_Myself_&_I 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your friend would be greatful that her daughter has taken so easy with you you have the rest of your lives together as a family as she grows you will be there to tell her all about her mom but for now love her and take care of her for your friend you will be a great mom and husband will be a great dad BEST WISHES
2006-11-13 18:17:54 · answer #5 · answered by NickyB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow you guys must be taking wonderful care of the baby thats why she's started to think you are her parents.you guys are amazing. keep up the good work just think god wanted this to happen. once she grows you can tell her about her parents for now GOD has sent you guys as an angel take care of the baby and he'll take care of you
2006-11-13 18:19:08 · answer #6 · answered by t_k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if the baby already knew you then she may be used to being around you....since she is so happy around you i think you are doing a very well job at parenting your friend's daughter....i think it is what she wanted.....and when she gets older you can explain things to her and she will understand...but don keep it a secret until she is like eighteen...then she may lose respect for you...so make sure she knoes and make sure you keep up the good work you are already doing at being her guardian
2006-11-13 18:16:56 · answer #7 · answered by iiiloveemichael 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If something ever happened to me i would be happy that my daughter was so comfortable around their new guardians. Just always talk to her about her mum, even now as it will be confusing if you just bring it up oneday when shes about 3 or so . Ease into it
2006-11-13 19:49:44 · answer #8 · answered by Kylie P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes its normal.You both are great people for taking her in. when she is old enough to know then let her know what happened.Start to show her pictures and explain who that is .iam sure its going to be hard for the both of you but just remember what great people you are for doing this not everyone would be able to do this.For now just love her and take care of her. again muck kudos to you and your husband.
Good Luck
2006-11-13 20:32:17 · answer #9 · answered by GINA P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal of course!!! Just remember, when she is old enough to understand you can show her and tell her everything about her parents! Right now, she is so young and it is expected that she will not directly remember her parents. But when she is older, you can help her remember.
2006-11-13 18:14:26 · answer #10 · answered by U2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋