I don't know what to do!?

Question

I dont like my future sis-in-law and I think she feels the same way. I have tried hanging out with her and everything but she annoys the hell out of me. I make an extra effort to do something but nothing seems to work and I dont know what to do because its my fiance's sister and I need to have a good relationship with her. We live in the same city too which makes it more worse because I have to see her all the time. I feel like I have tried almost everything and anything to make it work. We don't fight or anything but we act very fake around each other just to make it look like we like each other and I hate it. She is like a princess and wants to be treated like one all the time. Since I don't treat he r that way I think thats where the main problem lies. I even talked to my fiance but since its his sister he never takes my side and makes me feel like I have to make the effort and not her...really sucks.Please help.

Answer 1

I kind of had the same problem with my future sister-in-law when we first met. When I first started dating my boyfriend, he lived with her and his brother in a little 2-bedroom condo. She was already resentful of him for having to live with him, so naturally when I started coming around a lot, she just kind of started resenting me too. My boyfriend and his brother used to have a lot of fights about the way she would treat me when I was over there, and in fact, the whole thing led to my boyfriend moving out of the condo and getting an apartment of his own that he really couldn't afford, just so he wouldn't have to deal with the drama of it all. That was 4 years ago, and these days my future brother-and-sister-in-law live about 30 miles away from us, and they have a baby. We only see them on family get-togethers, which are maybe about once every 2 months or so. Since she had her baby, she seems to have mellowed out a tad, but I still get the impression that she's not too thrilled with me. Here's the deal, though: whether she likes it or not, she's stuck with me for the duration, because my boyfriend and I have a solid, lasting thing that nobody can tear apart, and that's the attitude you have to take with your fiance's "princess" sister as well. She's probably just threatened that your future mother and father-in-law will like you a whole lot, and maybe she won't be the special girl anymore.
On the flip side, I have been the sister in the situation as well. My brother dated a girl I couldn't stand for about a year when he was a senior in high school. I thought she was a snobby, pretentious witch who was only interested in digging money and presents out of my brother. It also bothered me to see my brother, who won't ever do anything anybody tells him to do, suddenly bending to her every whim like a whipped guy. However, my love for my brother prevented me from saying anything about it, even though I used to worry that I'd have to see her at every family function for the rest of my life. If their relationship had worked out, I would have just had to put up with her and try to find something in common so my brother wouldn't be miserable, and that's what your future sister-in-law should be doing too if she really has her brother's best interests at heart. She'll come around when she sees how much you love her brother, and if she doesn't, you always have the option of avoiding her as often as possible and then just being cordial to her when you do see her. There's no law that you have to like your in-laws.

Answer 2

I'm in the same situation but I guess I'm lucky because my husband knows and can admit that his sister has faults.
You don't have to see her all the time I just visit my in-laws once a week.
I don't and never will kiss up & I don't believe in "princesses" and she can like it or lump it. She mainly lumps it.
I told my then fiance I've made an effort and got nowhere, I'm not putting myself out anymore I'll be civil but thats it.
He's fine with that after all I married him and it's him I'm in a relationship with not his sister.
He had a choice to make me or his spoilt brat of a sister and he chose the right answer.

Answer 3

u probably just need to break thru some wall she puts up around people she's not used to.. also, it's possible that she is jealous of u for taking her time away from her brother (since u said she is princessy).

just try to be polite and nice to her.... for the sake of ur brother. perhaps when she sees how u are trying, she will eventually respect that about u. if not, at least u are being the "bigger person", and u won't have to make as much effort to be best friends, just civil.

good luck!

Answer 4

Be very careful. Try not to judge your fiances sister... some people are just fake like that, she might change, or she might warm up to you as you get to know her. Every relationship is different. You don't have to be fake just because she is, you can just be honest and be yourself! It's very hard when you're still getting to know a family to know how to act around them, so it's good that you're not into pretending and being fake. Really try hard not to make assumptions about her. You could try to imagine what kinds of things might make her act the way she does!

Don't bother trying to talk to your fiance (or any of his family, don't even go there!) much more about it. It's not his problem, it's yours. He'll appreciate it if you work through this issue on your own, and when his sister says "your wife's not bad!" he'll be sooo proud he married you!

How does everyone else act around her? What does she have in common with other people? Just act yourself around her, be civil, be nice. Your future husband will appreciate it.

Some people just haven't learned how to behave like human beings yet, you can demonstrate to her how to be decent and civil by being so yourself.

Learning to get along with family members that you don't have much in common with is very difficult. If you're still in your 20s, chances are that having your own family is something that will change you too. Don't make decisions about your future sister-in-law based on the person you are right now. That's not to say you're going to change drastically, and she might not either. But eventually, being family, you will share some experiences, and those could draw you closer. Just give it a chance.

You could find out what her interests are, and if any of them seem interesting to you (or if you already share one of her interests), that could help the two of you to connect.

One trick for getting people to like you is ask them questions about themselves. If you express interest in them (they don't necessarily have to return the favour) they will feel like you like them!

Honestly, I know you probably don't think so, but she could just have a bit of a self-esteem problem. People who do, usually REALLY don't seem like they do!

Take it really slow. Be very careful about what you say to her, because if you tell her you don't like something, you might find out it's her favourite! Listening is really good with new people. Even if you never really get to be great friends, just be a good sister-in-law and express interest in her when you do see her.

One more thing... don't expect all of his family to accept you as their new daughter/sister/whatever all at the same time. Some people are slower to make adjustments than others. If they've been hurt before, it might take them some time to get used to you.

Hope this helps. Haven't had much contact with my own in-laws in a year. It's very sad, not my fault entirely, but if I could go back, I would have been way more careful about things I said, knowing it's not my family, it's my husband's, and may have been able to maintain some kind of a relationship with them.

Answer 5

either ask help for your fiance again what to do or u can go shopping with her and have fun like women stuff, hit on boys, lol sing, dance, try out cool clothes up at the mall

Answer 6

WE'll see what she likes .See if maybe she wants to go somewere with you. and if you can not long with her and ur trying everything, then thas her problem. ok? buh-byerz!!