I had a rough childhood and had some things happen to me by a close babysitter. My parents denied it, and I grew up trying to avoid it. I am now 23 and completely lost. I have been recently researching this person and trying to find where he lives. I think I have it down to three people (started with 50). What should I do from here? I am wanting to confront him, but I don't know how or if I should.
2006-11-13 09:55:59 · 8 answers · asked by Becky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Take it from someone who's been there. Do what you have to to get it out. Confront him. If what he did was criminal have him prosecuted. I don't know what he did to you so I don't know what the statute of limitations would be I do know that anymore if it was some kind of molestation or sexual abuse that a lot of states no longer have a time limitation on those thing it does not matter when it happened. But for your own sake do something or the demons that follow your around now will never go away. I am the only one of my sibling whom confronted our abusive father and made him stand there and hear me out because I was tired of being angry all the time and I was tired of having to pretend everything was fine. And I am the only one of my sibling whom hasn't tried to kill myself or turn to drugs to stop my suffering.Say what you have to say and then let it go. allow yourself to release all of those feeling you have kept bottle up all these years.Let go of the anger by doing so it doesn't mean you are weak or that you are letting him get away with what he did. It means you are taking back from him what he took from you all those year ago your life.
2006-11-13 10:53:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I see no problem at all with writing this person..however DO be sure you absolutely without a shadow of a doubt have the right person. I would not confront them face to face because they may say or do something that might only add insult to injury. Rather I would write them and really just let it out on paper. Send it to them certified so you know they (and nobody else) got your letter...and what you want to say will then be said ..
I'm sorry this happened to you - I hope you do find some closure & peace. I would tell you to talk to a therapist, but I'm sure you've already considered this yourself. I do think it wouldn't hurt to do so though. Best of luck to you.
2006-11-13 10:02:15 · answer #2 · answered by svmainus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is old hat, but that was then and this is now. Can you imagine yourself confronting this person, is the end result going to give you the peace you so desperately desire.There is no way we can predict how something will turn out. The closest I can get you is write this person a letter, tell him exactly how you feel, how you were betrayed by your parents, the whole ugly story, do not leave one thought out. tell him what compensation you must have and why. I do not care if this letter is 100 pages long, just write it down. When you have finally gotten ever last shred of this out fold the letter put it in an envelope, and address it to God, hold up this letter and say God I now leave this with you to deal with, and then burn the letter as the smoke drifts up let yourself see that you problems have gone as well and if you let him God will deal with it,. You must not drag it back to see if it is gone just believe that it is taken care of and you are a new person, because you are
2006-11-13 10:15:35 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he did anything illegal to you then I would contact the police. There is no time limit on things like this. They will track him down and take the appropriate action.
He needs to be held accountable for his actions, and the only way to do this is through the courts, otherwise you may end up getting yourself into trouble.
People like this think they can get away with it because nobody will tell, prove him wrong. In doing so you may just be preventing him from doing it to somebody else.
Be brave and don't let this monster win by destroying your life, contact the police and seek help from a counseller, this is not your fault.
2006-11-13 10:11:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you can narrow it down WITH CERTAINTY to the correct person, I think you should confront them. I never confronted my abuser and I have always regretted it. Later in life, it occurred to me that he might have molested others because I didn't speak up. I think about that from time to time and feel guilty about it.
It might be a good idea to find out what this person does. If they are involved in childrens activities (sports, mentoring, counseling), you should definitely speak up. I wish I had.
2006-11-13 10:01:20 · answer #5 · answered by Otis F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't chase this ghost.Nothing will be solved by stirring up the past.You will be confused and his family who have done nothing wrong may be destroyed.Talk the episode over with a good friend who is not at all involved and get it out of your system.
Start thinking more about yourself and how to make those around you happier by your own personality.Good luck and a bright future.
2006-11-13 10:06:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well since you tracked down the person, maybe you should report it to the police. If you are going to confront him, make sure you do it sternly but surely. U should never hurt him physically, as he did to you. But if i were you i would definitely confront him. If u are scared of confronting him, going to the police is definitely the answer.
GOOD LUCK
**michelle
2006-11-13 10:03:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best advice...speak to a professional about this matter, even a person that has experienced the same...stay strong...!! Hope you find the way...!
2006-11-13 10:00:15 · answer #8 · answered by just curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋