I am really confused on what I should do. Can you help me?

Question

I'm 19 years old and I sometimes get depressed because I don't like myself. I mean I'm not ugly, but is something that I don't discuss with no one. I used to listen to rap/reggaeton and I've quit listening to them because most of their lyrics are full of hate and vanity (there is no more soul to most of these music). Of course I haven't entirely giving up on these two genres because there are still talented artists who either sing about real day issues or love. Sometimes I get angry and I turn into gangsta rap (I don't want to by the way). What music do you suggest that I should listen to when I'm stress/angry? Then there is my porn addiction. I want to quit, but I can't. What do you suggest? I'm a real bright kid in school, and I like reading. It takes me to some other person's life (more interesting than my own life). I sometimes want to cry, or commit suicide(well really no, but I think of it). I even get happy when I go to sleep. I get really sad. Give me some advice

Answer 1

You sound pretty messed up and probably need to see a therapist. I think most of your problem is depression, which should not be allowed to go untreated. At least one thing in your favor is that you realize you have a problem, and I think that deep down, you want some professional help. See that you get it. They can put you on some meds that will make a world of difference in how you feel and how you see the world in general. As for music, you're gonna hate this, but I find that classical music is the most soothing kind that I listen to, but of course I'm much older and have entirely different tastes. You're the same age as my grandson, and I can identify with your self-image issues also. You need some help to get over this stage in your life where you think it's not worth it. Believe me, it is worth it, because you have a whole life ahead of you. What you choose to make of yourself is up to you. You could be the next president or a rocket scientist, or maybe just a great husband and dad. But you need to get out of this blue funk, and you can't do it alone. So for the umpteenth time, I'll tell you to get some professional help. Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 2

Hi Josue. You certainly have some 'negatives' in your life, but that is true of everyone. You may not be giving yourself enough credit for your 'positives'.

You have demonstrated in your question that you are very bright, self-aware, and interested in improving yourself. Those three qualities place you at the top level of the human species.

I have a few suggestions.

1) Continue your efforts to avoid negative music. As you have already recognized, feeding your mind negative information is self-destructive.

2) Start focusing on some positives. Read motivational books (every library and book store is full of them and they work!). Read something positive every day. Make a list every day (keep the list and review it daily) of positive things about yourself or your life. Add something to this list every day. For example, today you can add the fact that you took a positive step for change by asking your question and reading other people's suggestions.

3) Find a cause greater than yourself. Find a charity, a children's sporting organization, something that you can get involved in that channels your energy and thoughts to helping others.

4) Set some goals in your life and then take daily action steps to achieve those goals - educational goals, career goals, health goals, money goals, family/friends goals, etc.

5) Lastly, I would like to suggest a wonderful book that can guide you and explain further the things I am suggesting. It is called: "Count Your Blessings" by Dr. John Demartini. It is available at Amazon.com and will give you powerful, positive insights that can help you improve your life and therefore, your self-image.

Best wishes and good luck.

Answer 3

I REALLY want to help you but I don't know what to say. I guess I'll list some songs that I like:

Upgrade U, Beyonce feat. Jay-Z
Loving You Still, Tamia
Loungin', LL Cool J
It's All About You (And Not About Me), Tracie Spencer
I Used To Love You, John Legend
Save Room, John Legend
Be My Escape, Relaint K

If you're angry, I *guess* these songs will help you:

Ordinary, Train
Way Away, Yellowcard
Since You Been Gone, Kelly Clarkson
Low, Kelly Clarkson
Faint, Linkin Park
Weight of the World, Evanesensce
Kicking and Screaming, Ashlee Simpson
Nothing New, Ashlee Simpson
Papercut, Linkin Park

Answer 4

Bright kids have issues too. Being sad and happy are all a part of life. We all go thru periods where it seems like things are going from one extreme to another, also a part of life. Its how far do we take it and how much are we dealing with that decides on whether we have a slight problem to a more of a drastic problem.

You say you get depressed and at times you think about suicide. Well good thing about that is... you know your thought process and you acknowledge it. However having to deal with that feeling isnt something you HAVE to do. For this, I would definitely seek someone out to help you get thru these times. There are hotlines such as

Youth Crisis Hotline: [phone]
Christian Teen Helpline: 1-800-394-HOPE
1-800-273-TALK
1-800-273-8255

All three of these phonenumber will just talk you through the feeling and help you make the decision that is best for you at the time.

As for dealing with stress and what you should do? Hell we all deal with stress differently the key is to not get stressed in the first place and that is sort of hard to do. Its all about control... Only you can make yourself feel something, no one else has that power over you... YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF THE FEELINGS.

Saying the word 'cant' always amazes me. For you 'can' you make the 'choice' not to do something. We CAN choose do anything that we want, we make the CHOICE not to do it or only half *** do it. Try taking that word from your vocab and see if that helps.

Listening to music is not something I believe is a good or bad thing. However you have decided that one type of music seems to twist you down or up. How about instead of listening to music you go out and take a walk, go see a movie... Seek out groups that you can attend for a night just to take your mind off of things. You said that talking to people and listening to others seem to help, why not join a volenteer group of some sort.

Last but not least.... All these feelings that your having are real and they are really there and should be dealt with. I would talk to your Doctor and see if maybe getting on a anti-depressant for a lil while wont help you get through some of these issues and yes, learning to talk about your problems and trying to focus on them in a more positive way is something you should learn to do. Sometimes when we talk about problems, they dont seem to be as big as we make them out to be.

and at last resort.... do what i do... hehe and dont laugh... LOL

sing this song.... always puts a smile on my face and it drives the people that i work with nutzoid. but it works.

I AM SLOWLY GOING CRAZY .. 1,2,3,4,5,6 SWITCH
CRAZY GOING SLOWLY AM I .. 6,5,4,3,2,1 SWITCH.

I heard that on Barney one year...

BTW... I am 38 years old and have been there and dont that.

You CAN do it.... You CHOOSE.... its your life.

GOOD LUCK!

ciao

Answer 5

Many people are conncerned about what others think of them. This is often because they are very opinionated about others. You are a unique person and what you need more than anything else or at least as much as anything else to calm your depression and address your porn addiction, you need to spend some time volunteering helping those who are less fortunate.

You are a lucky and talented person.

Answer 6

Do some thing that doesn't make you want to be like that so don't listen to music that hurts you listen to music that makes you happy or joyful.