Please help me, I have tried to be patient and understanding, but I don't see why they still need to talk, they have no kids. It also makes me nervous, because she broke up with him. Everytime he gets mad at me, he runs to her, and he has lied to me 3 times about hanging out with her. He treats me really well, but please tell me this is not normal. He always tells me that I need to get over her, and he thinks it is wrong of me to ask them to stop being friends. But it is uncomfortable, when we moved into our new place, she came over to see it. When he crashed his car, he called her, not me. I know I am being stupid, but sometimes you just need to hear it from other people. He thinks she is different and I need to be understanding that she is just a friend, but really, is this normal, should I leave?
2006-11-13 09:22:23 · 20 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
YES - leave him.
If he cant get over his ex and concentrate on you, he never will. Dont waste your time on him.
Especially the lying thing. If he's lied to you about hanging out with her, what else has he lied about?
2006-11-13 09:24:52 · answer #1 · answered by Kutekymmee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm the other side of this coin. My ex-husband and I are still friends--in fact I love him more now than I did when we were married. BTW, we have no children together either. I visit him, he visits me and we have met each others significant others. My current bf knows this and understands completely that my friendship with my ex isn't an affront on our relationship. I am very happy with my new man and wouldn't get re-involved with my ex if you paid me too. Sometimes a friendship is just that a friendship. I have told his girlfriend (she is a lot like you very insecure) that I am not a threat. Now that the romantic pressure is off--been there done that--I can appreciate him for the person that he is.
I can't tell you whether you should leave him or not, but you need to chill out and stop being so insecure in your relationship with him. Although he talks to her he comes home to you every night. You are his girlfriend not her. Something broke them up or they would still be together. In my situation, my ex has a good soul that just wasn't compatible with mine. Just because I'm not his wife doesn't mean I want him out of my life. You should appreciate that he not some super-scarred woman-hating man and relax and enjoy what you share with him.
2006-11-13 18:34:47 · answer #2 · answered by Radio Diva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always belived in a saying. There is always a thought before the thought you are thinking. So if your first thought something is not right, you are right. When he crashed his car he should have called you, why would he call his ex, even if they are friends? You are not being stupid, you are being human because your heart and emotions are on the line. I would not suggest leaving, but I would suggest having a serious heart to heart talk with him and let him know how you feel. If he can not respect your wishes he is not capable of loving you.
2006-11-13 09:49:21 · answer #3 · answered by a hot lesbian stud 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they were together for a long time then I can understand certain things, But there is a reason they broke up. Bottom line is he should stop putting her before you, and worry about what you think not his ex. He needs to be a adult and realize that he isnt going to have both of you. If it continues then I would definetly leave
2006-11-13 09:27:33 · answer #4 · answered by babalu042 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him how his continued relationship with his EX is making your feel. I would also let him know that you're aware of his lying to you at least 3 times. If he still refuses to modify his relationship with her, then you need to make a choice. Either live with it and the constant uncertainty or simply get out. you deserve someone who will put you first in their life - not 2nd behind an EX.
2006-11-13 09:27:25 · answer #5 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely are NOT being stupid. I wouldn't put up with that no matter how much I love a man. That's a big red flag ESPECIALLY if he's lying to you about being with her. I'd break it off, at least long for him to beg you back stating that he'll stop seeing her, but you'll need proof of that also. Good luck. Even if they ARE friends (Fat chance), then he cannot expect you to be okay with it, that's very disrespectful of him to do you that way.
2006-11-13 09:31:00 · answer #6 · answered by Lara Croft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He tells you that you need to get over her? What a crock of ****. And then you let him move in with you? Man, I just don't get it. Forgive me for saying this, but you sound like one of those gals who just has to have a man around to feel validated. You really need to wash this guy right out of your hair, and the sooner the better. Good luck.
2006-11-13 09:30:43 · answer #7 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on dear, he is still attached at the umbilical cord and will not stop trying to get her approval. His ego is bruised by getting the boot and keeps coming back to be validated he is worthy, even though you are there for him, he still longs for the "x". Time to find someone that will love you unconditionally, and not have any ladies on the sidelines!
2006-11-13 09:29:23 · answer #8 · answered by Nancy S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your instincts. While he may have trouble letting go of her, if he was that into a relationship with you, it would have been you he called.
It's a little too convenient for him to run to her every time you two have a problem. Is she his ex or his mother?
Sounds like you're being used.
2006-11-13 09:27:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it seems to me that he still has feelings for her. since he sees the need to turn to her before he turns to you then he is still into her.why did she need to see the place?it seems to me like you have a never going problem. ask him to stop being so close to her. allow him his freedom to talk to her but tell him he needs to stop doing it ever so often. don't appear to be too jealous though, that will only make you look like the very weak one.
2006-11-13 09:35:58 · answer #10 · answered by mysticshabs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋