My cousin got married over the weekend. I ran into her 2 months ago and she told me she was getting married but it wasn't going to be a big wedding. I went to her bridal shower but she still didn't tell me where it was or If I could've gone. I wanted to respect her wishes but I found out at the shower that all the rest of the people was invited. She told me that it'll be a small wedding so I didn't pressure or aggravate her by asking her. I was annoyed by the fact that everyone was invited but me(there was only like 8 people there) and to the fact that some girls asked if I was going...
2006-11-13 08:36:39 · 12 answers · asked by angelic1302 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
3rd cousins but I would've loved to see her in her dress...I spend 60 bucks on her gift for the shower...I understood about the limited guests(30) but more than the invited guests came. And only 2 from our side went and the rest of the 80 people was the grooms' side...
2006-11-13 09:03:09 · update #1
First - for those saying being invited to the shower and not the wedding is tacky: The bride makes the list for the wedding, but should never be in charge of the list for a shower. The shower is a party given by a family member or friend in order to shower the bride with gifts. A bride should never put on her own shower. That being said, since a shower is not hosted by the bride, the guest list may occasionally include people that the host wants to invite who may not have been invited to the wedding. This is not tacky in anyway.
As for the wedding - if you weren't invited, you did the right thing by not going. My question is, the other guests you mentioned from the shower - how were they related? If they were closer relatives then you are, then having them invited and not you may be understandable. If they were the same (third cousins), then you may have reason to be insulted.
2006-11-13 13:34:19 · answer #1 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weddings are expensive and some people invite others to the bridal shower but not to the wedding and that is acceptable, specially since you were told that you were not in the guest list.
I understand that you feel offfended and hurt, but the bride was clear to you that she was not going to be able to accomodate you. It seems that you are an acquance of hers ( since you mentioned that you ran into her 2 months ago) so you are not close friends. When you are paying 70 dollars a plate or more , you cannot afford to invite everyone that you like.
Don't take this personal.
Good luck
2006-11-13 16:50:03 · answer #2 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when you get married, the facility gives you a guest list. When I got married 10/05, I was given a 75 guest limit. This really gave me trouble because I didnt want to go over the limit so I could only invite family and friends. This left out a lot of people for me because I wanted to invite all the girls I work with. They are my friends too, they just haven't been around as long. I explained that to everyone and they threw me a shower at work and I had one at home too. No one was offended. She should have just been straight up with you about it. I wouldnt worry about it though.
2006-11-13 16:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by southernbellalg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were invited to the shower, but not the wedding?
That's tacky. I would never have anyone invited to a shower that wasn't invited to the wedding.
The only exception to this was a work shower. I had only invited a couple close friends from work to the wedding, but the whole office got together and threw me a shower.
2006-11-13 16:42:46 · answer #4 · answered by Rainy Days and Mondays 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I cannot believe that you were invited to the shower but not the wedding. That is so rude and so tacky. Personally, I wouldn't speak to her again, or when I did I would tell her about it. I don't care how small the wedding is, you don't invite people to a shower but not the wedding.
2006-11-13 19:20:16 · answer #5 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You did the right thing. I would maybe call her though and still let her know you were thinking about her on her wedding day. She is your cousin, so I think giving her a gift was a pleasant thought. You may need her some day, so I wouldn't brush her off. And, I don't think she will be offended that you didn't go to her wedding.
2006-11-13 16:45:03 · answer #6 · answered by bellebelle113 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get her a nice gift and go on with your life. There will be a time when she needs you for more than a wedding guest.
2006-11-13 16:41:51 · answer #7 · answered by SKYDOGSLIM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing by not going. It was also considerate of you to not pressure the bride by asking if you were invited.
2006-11-13 16:41:18 · answer #8 · answered by bttrfly0724 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm going thru that at the mo you might realise when you try and have a wedding that it is hard to know who to invite when your budget maybe small, don't sweat the small stuff just don't invite he to yours she will know how it feels
2006-11-13 17:25:35 · answer #9 · answered by grumpy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
at least you didi not have to buy a gift. very rude not to invite you to the wedding!!!
2006-11-13 17:48:02 · answer #10 · answered by -------- 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋