a relationship with a 27 year old divorced man with 2 kids and a 20 year old woman who has never had a relationship before. he's been clear on the fact that he wants something serious... is it not a bad idea for her to commit to that?
2006-11-13 08:18:05 · 19 answers · asked by luvlee_lolo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
can work.
I am 40 and my girlfriend 23, and until now we've got 3 wonderful years. We expect another 30.
2006-11-13 08:20:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
Being 20 and getting involved with a man who is 27 is not a significant age difference. HOWEVER, being that the woman has not had any prior relationships and this man has a child who would become part of her responsibility is to say the least, A LOT OF HARD WORK. I'm 28 and married - but I NEVER dated guys who had kids - mostly because I don't like or want kids of my own - let alone someone else's. And keep in mind, whoever the mother is will probably be in his life always so that's another stress point. I don't think it's worth it - I'd move on and find a nice single guy who hasn't had kids yet.
2006-11-13 16:20:54 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The big issue here is not the age difference because I am sure you're mature enough for him but whether you can handle dating him with out taking on any responsibility for his children and the interference this may cause you! Sorry Hope things work out I am a 23 fiance of a 36 year old with 2 children that live with him as do I and it is D,R,A,M,A, honey! Save yourself your young with a promising future if you make the right decisions (as did I) but there are plenty of guys who have a lot to offer you besides baggage enjoy your life now and when the time comes you'll have a family of your own, a man who will be a provider and faithful, as well as all the other things but right now he's the instant family, I am telling you it can be too much!
2006-11-13 16:42:27 · answer #3 · answered by souljagirpart2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 years ain't that big of a difference. It depends on there level of maturity! Is the 20yr old really ready for a serious relationship and ready to help out with the kids. Most times 20 yr old are just getting there feet wet in the relationship world. So it all depends on the maturity level!
2006-11-13 16:22:10 · answer #4 · answered by HotMommi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is a 27 year old man looking for serious relationship. you are a 20years old girl who has never had a relationship. i am not sure you wanna get too serious as yet. you said that you have never had a relationship before, are you willing to sacrifice everything for he and his family who will require all your attention? he may be looking for someone to share his life with and if you think you can handle it then go ahead.with no previous relationship then that means you are still not quite ready for such a big step. however, we all learn to accept life and challenges differently. this is you challenge in life and you have to decide what you think would be best for you. stop putting what he said about wanting a serious relationship first and start thinking about what you want. Will you be happy with your decision in the long run? talk it out with him and weigh your pros and cons.
2006-11-13 16:35:22 · answer #5 · answered by mysticshabs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what she wants. Does she want try and have a relationship? The other thing is she should not ever feel pushed into the relationship. If he is pushing too hard too fast then she needs to tell him that she needs him to slow down. If he is not willing to slow down then she might want to consider ending it but if he is willing to slow down then she should consider staying in the relationship. Both people need to remember too that there is children involved and their needs need to be met before anyone elses. Is she willing to try to be a good role model and step mother to these two children? That is the most important question to be answered because they are more important than the adults always! That little bit of age difference I don't think makes much difference. Your both adults but he's been through a bit more than her. As long as he doesn't try to treat her like she doesn't have a clue because she's younger it should be ok. I've had relationships with older men that I've told to grow up and I have never allowed them to treat me like I was clueless just because I am younger.
2006-11-13 16:27:00 · answer #6 · answered by Janet J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The personality factors of each person would need to be looked at to answer this question fully. I heard alarm bells when I read this question. Why would a 27yr old who obviously has had a serious relationship and now has two kids want to tie himself down again. Does he want to control this young girl who has had no experience with relationships. The age difference is not the issue here, it is the life experience that is the issue. I would suggest to the young girl to date this guy if she wanted but on a casual basis until she has had enough life experience to know who she is.
2006-11-13 16:24:50 · answer #7 · answered by kate d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's 27, already divorced with 2 kids ?? On top of that he wants a 20 yr old ?? Doesn't sound like the best plan in my book.
2006-11-13 16:21:46 · answer #8 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 26 my husband is 47 and he has three children from the previous marriage. Can it work? Well we are together for four years. I would say the biggest chalenge is the kids.(his oldest is five years younger than me) Right now they are no living with us, thank God, but when they were it was a nightmare. It is a lot of adjustments especially if the ex-wife talks crap over and over about you to the kids and they live with you and do not respect you. I would say it is difficult but is not impossible. it is up to you. My best advice is wait to get married and understand how kids are. Do not try to be a mom, but a friend. If you have a problem with the kids tell him to tell them. Never do yourself.(It avoides confrontation), do not badmouth their mom in front of them.
2006-11-13 16:28:05 · answer #9 · answered by bbluckylove 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first things first, she needs to decide how serious she is about him, then she needs to decide if him having children already is going to bother her, also help raise the children if she does commit. If you are ok with all of this then you know in your heart that you are ready to commit to a longer and fuller relationship. That is a big jump for anyone so be sure to you are willing to take the plunge!!! Hope everything works out for you!!! Good Luck!!!!
2006-11-13 16:24:37 · answer #10 · answered by squeaky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, im 19 and my boyfriend of 4 years is 5 years older than me. We were doing really good, hardly ever fought and everybody wanted to hangout with US! Well, now things are different. I think Im now learning who I am and where I want to be in life and there is conflict. I dont want to be that some young girl I once was. He was already through that phase of finding himself so now we are off balance a little. We argue a little more and we dont really agree on much. I think NOW that the age difference has alot to do with it [as much as i hate to say it [[my mother warned me]]] But i do. I love him to death and I dont plan on leaving him. This is just something that you two need to really sit and talk about where your goals are. Do you want to get serious?
Wish ya the best!
2006-11-13 16:26:31 · answer #11 · answered by kicknkay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋