why are they doing this to me?

Question

hi there,my gf split up with me,no reason at all,(been bout a month now,she came last thurs there to see me and chat)i asked her if she just didnt want to be with me anymore,she said no,im 27 shes 18,after bout half an hour she gave me an answer,she said her mum and dad didnt want us to see each other anymore.i said i waited a whole month and a half hour just to hear that answer.as she split wi me the 1st time ,she said she was sleeping w/people. then saying she didnt.then she started saying that she fancied my best friend.i said so basically u dumped me for my best m8,she said yes.he is also 27,and has been a m8 for 13 yrs.he kept telling her not to phone him/txt. i told her that to.but it just didnt get through and kept persisting.so anyway,i know what my m8's like,if its handed to him on a plate hell take it.so i got a fone call from him to nite,asking me not to fone him again. so i kinda think the 2 have got 2gether.how the hell do i get over this,please help

Answer 1

Poor you. You've lost your girlfriend, who wasn't worth it anyway, and your best mate, who is more of a loss. You can trust other people, though it may not feel like that to you now. Things will change; give it time. Let yourself feel anger if you need to; it's healing. Then move on.

Answer 2

A mate of 13 years would not dump you for a girl unless he had a good reason. She's 18 so unlikely to have the intelligence to take control of a 27 year old. If he's a bum then he was never really a mate just a guy you knew whio has taken to her.

Personally i'd say phone him tomorrow and ask what the hell he was saying. If he's any sort of decent guy you'll get a decent explanation at the very least, if he say sod off then he deserves to get hurt by her in the same way.

I have quite a strong personality and would find a few good drinks without people around me will help a little, and after a couple of days things seem a lot easier, but don't take the drink route unless you KNOW you can control it.

If she's that easy he will get hurt by her as well and will probably then come crawling back. Best to reluctantly accept him but make him feel really bad for it.

Her on the other hand, don't worry about. clearly not worth it, girls like that I call free-fannie. Basically a prostitute that doesn't bother to charge. Time will heal all wounds, and as I said, so long as you know you can control it, a little drink will speed that recovery.

Answer 3

that is an awful blow...but by the sounds of things, these two sound like they deserve each other. Trust me on this, you'll NEED TO ALLOW YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL. There is no other healer (except God and prayer) that can help you overcome this as effectively as time. YOu're probably sad and angry and feel deeply betrayed, by 2 people who's supposed to be your nearest and dearest. Do you have any other close family / friends? YOu're going to need their support for a bit, TALK to one of them, get it off your chest, cry, cry and cry some more. Read a good few books, stay at home as much as possible for a bit until your sadness feels totally spent. Then consider doing something to take your mind off things. Do some volunteer work, aint nothing like that to raise your self esteem, because i'm sure right now you feel as if you must be worth nothing...not true. don't let those 2 who hurt you most, touch your self worth, they aint worth the crap that lands on the soles of your feet. Given time, and again i say, trust me on this, they will get what's coming to them, for in this life there is an unspoken rule that whoever hurts you, that hurt will come back to them double / triplescore.
you could also try speaking to a counsellor, if you're in the uk, try the Samaritans...you need to talk to someone experienced and professional rather than expose your already hurting heart to people who come on here, you might get loads of rubbish answers that might not even be ill-intended, but certainly aint very wise.

Answer 4

The best way to get over this is some Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream!!!I'm just kidding but you can eat some if you want. It seems that neither person wants to speak to you, so it would be no use for you trying to talk to them. Just try to live life to the fullest, and I know it's easier said than done, but try it. Go out with some new mates, do something adventurous, try something new. Have some fun with life, you shouldn't have to sit around being upset about two idiots. Try to wake up everyday and just simply live life. Hope I helped.

Answer 5

time, it take time! do what makes you happy, maybe leave town for a little vacation... there is a woman out there, who is perfect for you, and you'll be so in love with her, but only when the time is right, and you need to let this pain heal before you'll be ready for the right woman... hurting is okay, feeling lonely is okay, crying is okay, but telling yourself that you weren't good enough isn't... I wish I could help you more...

Do you ever wish, after reading someones question, that you could meet them, share the hurt, and help them.. because you know exactly how they are feeling... Ive been through what you are going through, only it was my bf who slept with my best friend,..

I wish i could walk down a beautiful path, lined with trees, feel the cool breeze on our faces, and watch the sun rise on a new day, and just listen to you talk about it...

the more you talk about it, the more you'll accept it as the truth and be able to move on... so please, find someone who you trust, and talk to them, and then begin to let go of the past.... and grasp the future!!
much yahoo love my sweet!

Answer 6

life has a way of kicking people up the butt especially the ones who are like this. I used to go with a girl who I really liked , she was beatiful yes but she was a compulsive liar though, anyway she ended up dumping me and going with a male model. Now she is a single mother must weigh about 20stone never smiles(i see her walking around with baby all the time) and from what i gather only has her lies to keep her company. Sit back and wait you'll get your chance to see them get their just deserts ,trust me.

Answer 7

listen bud , It will hurt for a while , It happens to alot of people, I know it sound obvious , but there are so many nice girls out there , and I know u wil find a nice girl if u try. DONT look for someone on the rebound, slow down and keep smiling. Just remember there are alot of NASTY people out there too, and remember there are girls out there who are as fragile as u to.
good luck man .

Answer 8

first of all you need to get with someone in your age group, you have no business with the young girl. 18 and she is still very much immature and she is a little freak is that why you want her grow up and get a life and get with someone on your own level or is an 18 year old all you can get .

Answer 9

Everytime you think of her, think of the things she had done to you. Make your self busy,. Its hard at first but its only you who can help your self. Its really painfull, i know that but cmon,its not the end of the world. Cheer up..

Answer 10

your mate sounds a s h i t !
the girls obviously a slapper, dont worry about her mate, but your friend? I understand why your hurt, a lot of betrayal, all at once!