Girls, don't skewer me yet..... but??

Question

I am in the market for an engagement ring. I have been looking for something nice, but for something I feel is impressive is SO expensive. There are natural occuring diamonds, and there are what they call "lab-created" diamonds. They are supposed to have the same sparkle, the same "fire" and the same hardness. Do you think it's wrong to save thousands of dollars we could be putting towards a wedding just to have a "natural" diamond? Thoughts?

Answer 1

What does your fiancé think? - would be my main question here. Unless my fiancé was made of money, I would be extremely disappointed if he spent any significant amount of it on an item of purely symbolic value such as an engagement ring. I was much more impressed with the fact that my husband owned a home and managed his money well. But some women would rather see their husband-to-be in debt, and have a huge rock on their finger; so, it all depends.

Answer 2

Do what works for you. I'd rather have a colored stone or no ring at all than a natural diamond. And I would even go so far as to refuse to wear a natural diamond.

That is based on the fact that I have visited many gem shows (and met gemologists) over the years and I have never once been impressed in the least by a natural diamond. In order to get something affordable, it's usually a tiny chip that may have many inclusions and fractures, as well as being a slightly off color. And the natural diamonds do not have the same sparkle ("fire") as the lab created (cubic zirconias). But that is simply my opinion in viewing countless gems.

Answer 3

Take your girl shopping with you--that's one idea. She's the one who gets to wear this enduring symbol of your love, so create it together. Shopping for the ring won't necessarily ruin the surprise--you can get an idea of what she'll like, and she still won't know what you picked out, when you bought it, or when the proposal will happen.

If you don't want to try that route, you could try bringing it up in conversation--theoretically, what does she think of lab-created diamonds? Or ask her girl friends, or her mother or sisters. Getting mom involved might be a good strategic route for you as the future son-in-law anyway.

Personally, I'm a big fan of saving the money and getting a smaller diamond. It's a symbol more than anything, and you can't possibly shell out the big bucks for every aspect of the wedding--you have to pick and choose what's worth it. Maybe she'd rather have awesome reception food or a super honeymoon than a giant rock on her hand. Won't know till you ask her.

It doesn't really matter what the folks here at yahoo think of lab-created diamonds--it matters what your lady thinks, so I recommend either doing some reconnaissance or just asking her straight out. Who knows, maybe she doesn't want a traditional diamond at all and would be happier with a big ol' sapphire. Good marriages have good communication, so start off right and get a ring you know she'll love forever.

Answer 4

I would buy her a real diamond. Size does not matter. My engagement ring only cost my husband $300. It's a nice princess cut stone set in yellow gold. It was smaller. The $300 dollar ring is an upgrade. Now my husband makes great money and he has offered to have it upgraded again but I won't allow it. See, the first time it was upgraded we were not married yet. I told him that the ring on my finger is the ring I was wearing the day he married me and I will never upgrade it. The sentimental value is what makes my ring special. Not a huge price tag attached. Now, before you go thinking I am just saying this to make myself feel better, I'm not. I had a 1/2 carat diamond from my first husband and it had no special meaning to me. I had originally had a $100 dollar ring from K-Mart and when it was lost he thought a big diamond would make up for that. I missed my $100 dollar ring more than anything. It was beautiful. The ring I wear now is Beautiful. I wouldn't trade it for the world. When my husband married me he encircled my diamond with rubies and diamond chips. Ruby is my birthstone. Isn't that special? I don't need thousands of dollars on my finger. I need the love he has in his heart. Take care.

P.S. We started with a ring from a bubblegum machine and I still have it. It means something to me. It was a really cute gesture and I love him for his silliness.

Answer 5

I think that this is a topic hat you should discuss off hand with her. If it is a surprise, then start the conversation from looking at an ad in the paper or something like that. Or get someone to ask her for her off hand kind of way. It is very important to some women, for various reasons.
I however, would prefer to save the money, and also would feel better knowing that the diamond came from a lab rather than from Africa (Liberia, Sierra Leone) with all the problems of fair treatment etc.and violence surrounding the diamond trade. Although there are diamonds (and very nice expensive ones) that come out of Australia and Canada (the Canadian ones have a polar bear) and you know these ones have been extracted safely and fairly, they are rather expensive.
So there are many different reasons for wanting a particular type of diamond.
My advice - ask her or get someone to ask her. You don`t know for sure and it`s alot of money either way if you get something she doesn`t like.
Good luck ring shopping!!

Answer 6

Actually, this is something that I have thought about myself after looking at the price tags of all the rings that I liked. The best place that I found personally, was a diamond "warehouse" if you will. Go to http://www.distinctivediamondsinc.com/. It's a great site, and if you can make it to Indianapolis, it'a a great collection to view as well. I wouldn't go the lab created route on any diamond, especially not an engagement ring, just because she will eventually want to know all about the stone she's going to be wearing the rest of her life. Check out that site and see where you can go from there! I hope that helps! :)

Answer 7

Buy the lab-created. No one will ever know. They do look just the same, I've seen them. They are so much less, and only jewlers can tell the difference under a microscope.

And it'd not like it's not still a diamond. The only thing I would make sure to NOT buy is cubic zirconium. That's as fake as you can get, without just buying plastic!

I have a hard time with ring shopping, too, because of the price tag. I just can't see spending more on a piece of jewlery that I did for my car!

Answer 8

I oersonally would have shot my fiance if had spent the money on a real diamond! I love my "lab-created" one. I have a 2 carat center stone with an eternity band (small diamonds all around the band) and the wedding band is also an eternity band. First off, is she is hung up the diamond that would be a red flag to me. I did not want my fiance even spending what he did, but he insisted. Second NOBODY has ever said anything about my ring other then "OMG that is gorgeous!!!!!" Good luck sweetie!

Answer 9

I think a ring that is created with her in mind is what really counts...not really cost.

My engagement ring has the letter C with one big diamond at the top of the C and 4 little ones representing our children in the bottom curve of the C. The C is the first letter of both of our names. I don't know if the diamonds are real or not and don't really care. What matters to me is the thought that was put into the ring. I know when he bought it that I was the only thing he was thinking of and that is what is important to me.

Answer 10

Frankly, most mature women don't care. Sometimes cubic zirconias look more sparkly than real diamonds, anyway. I think it is nice to get a traditional diamond, but I think you are under the mistaken impression that you have to spend thousands. You don't; you can get very nice engagement rings for a few hundred dollars.

Answer 11

I think that unless you or someone else that knew told her it wasn't a natural diamond, she wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
There is a diamond-like crystal that is sold on QVC called Daimonque... a lot of times they combine this lab-created diamond with gemstones and everything looks natural.

I myself would rather have an incredible wedding and honeymoon over a natural diamond, and i dont think you should count out natural gemstones instead of a diamond either... you need to get her something that is "her"
Good Luck