Should I Believe This??

Question

My boyfriend and I haven't had sex for a few weeks now. He said it's because he's been thinking about our situation and how we started out with sex on the first date and sex every time there after. He said that he knew that I was with him for more than the sex but he was only with me for the sex. Now, he's saying that the reason he hasn't wanted to have sex because he's now interested in getting to know me and that sex should take a back burner. He said he's confused and having some emotional issues about commitment and wants us to start over slow. He said that he wants me because I'm good for his spirit and that he knows what he needs.

I should be appreciative and I can go without the sex but can't help but to be curious as to why he can't get to know me better with the sex. Should I believe his story or what should I think?

Answer 1

Sounds like he's trying to be honest with you. These are confusing times for singles (and everyone, really). If the only thing that changes in your relationship is the sex, I think it's a good thing. If you are going to be together for any length of time, you're pretty much guaranteed to have intervals in your relationship where sex is difficult or impossible and you'll need to rely on your emotional relationship to carry you through. This is good practice. Hang in there and enjoy the emotional intimacy.

Answer 2

Sounds fishy to me...but I'm not the trusting sort. If what he says is true - consider yourself belssed and give him the time he needs.

I can't imagine another reason for him to say this - most guys want sex, you're giving him sex - why put a stop to that? There must be a reason...

So...is his reason the one he gave you? Or is he seeing someone else and wants to see how that plays out before deciding to dump you?

Both occur to me, but like I said - I'm not the trusting sort.

I hope he's being genuine and you don't get hurt. Only thing is, every time I think a guy can be believed...he ends up lying. You need to ask yourself if his actions are backing up his words.

For instance, is he really trying to get to know you? Does he appear more/less interested than before? Does he talk to you and listen to what you have to say? Is he trying to be a friend/mate? Or is this all a bunch of crud and he's playing you like a fiddle?

Don't know...hope it's the first.

Wishes for a happy ending!!

Answer 3

I think he might be a nice person and all, but the whole idea of quitting sex and "starting over" in a relationship seems very immature. Trying to force a relationship into some ideal he's envisioned on a whim, after it's started out a different way, is just unrealistic. You can go with him on this or dump him, but either way, he's trying to control something that's out of his hands, the vagaries of existence.

Answer 4

That is not true i think you should let him go, what kind of guy would just get with a girl for so long for just sex. Give him all the time he need. An if your with some one and they cannot be with you because of who you are that person is not good for you.

Answer 5

And this is a man?, they think about sex every 5 sec. and sex on the first date is telling him that you are easy, so now he is having second thoughts, hey maybe he just found out he is gay. Honey don't give it up so early in the game men would not respect you.

Answer 6

Yes, believe him.

Emotions caused by sex can be slightly overpowering. It is highly possible that he can't focus on getting to know you as a person if all he's thinking about is having sex with you.

Answer 7

Take what he says with a grain of salt. He may really mean this, but it sounds like he's having second thoughts. If you think he's worth it, keep an open mind. Just be cautious with your heart. You may have to kick him to the curb. Don't get hurt.

Answer 8

wow girl you have a liar on your hands! so if all he wanted you for at first was sex what makes you think that he will change his mind? nothing! we can make a guy change his mind so much but the rest is up to him and this story is full of bull! a. he does not care about you!b. all he cared was the sex and when it got boring he wanted to "think"! c. he is feeding you a line! d. he did not like you for you nor know you for you from the beginning but rather he knew you for your sex! dang, i could go on and on! this guy is pulling lines and you are buying them. actually sit down and think if it is normal to sleep with someone first rather than know the person! actually ask yourself this and be honest with yourself and you will see that this so called bf of yours if a player! he wanted the sex and now he wants out so he tells you that he wants to get to know you-shouldn have he done that already? or was his mind on getting you laid? he got what he wanted, to get a girl laid or screwed so yeah most guys just stop caring! look, if he actually cared he would get to know you first as a person and everything about you before sleeping with you! that is just common sense! he sees you as naive girl he can screw and leave and feed her all these lines! he does not care about you not now, not ever! you need to get rid of him before he breaks up with u! do something good with your lfe, find someone better-and do no sleep with them on a first date for crying out loud!-and need someone who actually respects you! think about it!

hope this helped

Answer 9

Sex on the first date, huh? To any guy that spells e-a-s-y. He doesn't want to commit to you because he is wondering if there were 20 guys before him.

Answer 10

Personally i wouldn't believe it but that just me, if i were in your situation i would probably think he was seeing saomeone else, or having sex with someone else and that he wasn't interested in me anymore, but that may not be the case, maybe he is telling you the truth!! Tell him how you feel!!

~CHEERS!!~