I feel like a horrible mother....?

Question

I have two beautiful baby girls... 2 1/2 and 11 months and I am pregnant again with our third- I am due in March. It could just be the pregnancy hormones but I always feel like a horrible mother... especially to my 2 year old. I work 40 hours a week and try to clean house when I get home, go to the grocery, wash clothes... everything and it feels like no matter how hard I try to sit down with my 2 year old I'm either wore out and can hardly sit up straight or she's into everything and I have to yell at her a lot, or it's already her bedtime.... AHHH! I just want some quality time with my girls that isn't full of having to discipline them or tell them no or whatever. I feel like she hates me.

By the time I get my energy back- will it be too late already?! I've lost the closeness of my girls and their love?!

Answer 1

Housework and laundry never go away...Children are only small once...you need to make time for your girls...and where is dear daddy...why isn't he helping you with all these household chores??? Make the grocery store a family event...or....leave the baby with dad while you take the 2 year old with you....anything you do with her one on one is gonna seem special to her at this age...maybe she is getting in trouble because she feels this is the only way she can get your attention..and some sort of attention is better than none at all....Make time mommy....Babies grow up!

Answer 2

I am exactly like you, my husband does nothing to lighten my work load at home, plus I work full time, plus I have OCD which makes me feel like my home needs to be perfect. I have two boys and feel like I do not give them the quality parenting they deserve to have. What you are going to need to do, is let a day or two a week be your day with your kids, let the chores go for that day. It will be hard, but what I am learning, is it will just be there for me tomorrow. Play a game with your little one, make cookies, draw pictures, find something creative to do so that you don't feel like you are just yelling at her all of the time.

See she is in the discipline age, so of course, while you are training her on the rights and wrongs, it will feel like you are always yelling, but you need to remember that this is just being a good caring mother. If you let her do what she wants, she will be a six year old spoiled brat in no time flat.

You are a good mother and you are a busy person, it's defiantly hard to do what we do.... but you can do it, it's defiantly possible. Just let a few things go here and there. Ask your husband for some help. Things are only going to get tougher with the new baby coming, so when that time comes, let your daughters take part in taking care of the new baby.... tell them they are your special little helpers, this too with keep you bonded.

Good luck mom, you are special to your babies, yelling, busy or grumpy, trust me when I say they love you the same no matter what!

Answer 3

First of all I'll tell you my age. I am 57. I had two beautiful little boys, two yrs. age difference. Time has a way of opening your eyes and if only I had it to do all over again believe me...I'd have taken more time to be with them. I worked also outside the home and now as I remember, it was more important to have a clean house, good meals, etc. than it was for me to take the time with them. I'd give anything to do it over again. I recall yelling at them a lot to pick up their toys, clean their rooms, etc. and I regret some of it. I'd definitely wish I'd taken the time to read to them. I never did that. I'd take them outside and go exploring. We would have been cloud watchers and star gazers. We would have talked more. One more thing......it's important for an adult take the time to look at things through a child's eyes and you'll remember your childhood and what you missed out on. This will help you to become more childlike so you can enjoy your children while they're young. Set your priorities. Some of the chores we think are so important will be there tomorrow, but the children won't. They grow up and leave home. So make the best of it and you'll have no regrets. Good luck!

Answer 4

wow i think wonder woman needs to take lessons from you. Well here is the best advice i can give find some help , a neighbor who needs either help with something in her life in trade for some housecleaning or grocery shopping for you, if you have family ask for help even if it means hearing how rotten kids of today are from say grandma just smile and tell whoever offers to help how much you appreciate it or just realize the laundry and dirty dishes will be in your life always. Your children grow up too fast so if you have to buy paper plates and have picnics for dinner instead of dirtying a sink full of dishes believe me it's worth the 2 dollars for the disposable ones.Also set aside a time each day or one day a week to just play with your girls if everybody in your house has to wear mismatched clothes to save on laundry make a game out of it, ie see who can either wear the most mismatched outfits or pick a color and everyone tries to wear the most clothing of that color. Just remember soon your children will be in school and too busy to hang out with dear old mom, cause when we die the state of our house cleaning won't compare to the loss of time with our children, also honey either quit having kids after this one or demand your husband pay for a part time regular babysitter or some housecleaning service. That last sentence was a little motivation for your significant other. Good Luck Just remember martha stewart has a beautifully decorated life but her kids live with their dad and i bet her fancy house doesn't ask for one more hug and kiss at bedtime.

Answer 5

Where is the Daddy at? Why can't he pick up and cook so you can have some time with your girls? If he isn't in the picture, then what about you taking a vacation day if possible, or just taking a weekend and don't worry about anything but your girls. Make a picnic for the girls and sit in your living room floor, read some books, play dress up, whatever they want to do. I can assure you, your kids don't hate you. I am sure they love their mommy and when they get older they will realize just how much you did for them.

Answer 6

I have a little girl who will be 2 in December. She is my only child. I can't imagine being pregnant while she's 2. She is into everything also. You just have to remember to try and stay calm when she gets into something that she knows she's not supposed to. I've just recently figured out that if I ask my daughter nicely and get down to her level, that things go over a lot better then having to holler at her all the time. I would say, that instead of trying to clean house one day, if you can stand it, take that time to do games or arts and crafts with your daughters. Put some kid music on and let them dance to it and you watch and encourage them. As long as you're getting the interaction with them, that's all they care. Just try to get up the energy to do it. You may have to push yourself, but you're the mom and you're just going to have to push yourself a little bit. Your daughters don't understand that you don't have a lot of energy because you're pregnant. Maybe sit down and color with your 2yr old. Just some suggestions. Don't be down and just constantly let them know you love and care for them!! Good luck!

Answer 7

You're a super mom! Wow!

Now, I'm not one of those preachy people who say you should stay home with your kids, blah blah blah. But it sounds as if working full time and being a full time mom are getting to you. You need to take a step back and rearrange a few things, or you're going to have a breakdown, honey!

Could you work less hours? Flex time, or part time? Or work from home? I know that all of these suggestions are easier said than done, but you absolutely MUST make some changes in your life, no matter how hard, to allow you to spend some more time with your girls and give you a chance to relax and save your sanity!

Answer 8

Kids respond best to just overall attention. They really soak up the positive, but sometimes need our strong voices to keep them in line. Having multiple children, especially under five is hard work. Keep in mind that eventually your children will grow up and you will miss the times when they were little, even if you are pulling your hair out now. There were four kids in my family, all within two years of eachother, and we look back fondly on our childhood memories. Smile...you have been blessed in so many ways. Take a little breather when things get a little more than you can handle and remember to just be a mommy and love them every minute.

Answer 9

I have two boys the same age. What i would do is just put aside the house work (make daddy do it) and play with the kids. Dose it really matter if your house is a mess????

I do my washing when my boys are asleep, When cooking make huge batches and freeze for later in the week, and just don't stress so much. Pick up the phone and call in some help. Do something fun on your days off, Your kids don't hate you.

Answer 10

SimplyLovely answered change your priorities. Great advice!

I certainly do not enjoy changing a stinky messy diaper. But, I have always done it promptly and without complaint as every time it is an opportunity to make my daughter clean and healthy. I don't judge myself on my feeling that I do not enjoy changing her, I judge myself on the result: she is cleaner and healthier. Same goes for telling your kid no. Your opportunities for quality time are there also. Now my daughter is 5 and her favorite thing is that we spend 20 minutes each day doing whatever the other person wants to do. Sometimes I do choose cleaning and she does it with me. It is a game. She of course always chooses Barbie dolls.