I've never noticed this before until I became a mother and I know its not just me because I talk to alot of ladies that have the same problem?? Why and How do I change this??
2006-11-13 07:15:26 · 13 answers · asked by rkonkin226 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The thing I hate about these questions is they become a Man vs. Woman bash fest.
Not all guys are lazy when it comes to their kids. I am divorced. I fought to make sure I have my children half of the time...and quite often I have them more than that. The only 2 things that I have never done for my kids is actually give birth to them ...or breastfeed them (for the obvious reasons).
I take them to the doctor when they go...I stay home with them when they are sick...I am the one teaching these girls 90% of their hygiene. I have to because if left up to their mother alone the basics wouldn't happen nearly often enough.
I attend ALL of their functions both in and out of school. I communicate with the teachers all of the time. I do fun things with them, we laugh and cry together sometimes...my number 1 rule to them is "I love you...no matter what".
Its not about being a man or woman. Its the PARENT inside of us.
Am I special? I don't think so. I am a loving father. Do I deserve a pat on the back? No. I am doing the best I can, to do the most important job that God gave us...I am being a parent.
2006-11-13 07:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by Randal D 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is one of them controversial things... i don't expect a lot outta my husband because he works all day long and pays all the bills so on and so on. I am currently in school getting my masters and wnehi have class or homework he knows to tend ot our son. i am now 39 weeks prego again and he knows that nothing will change when this baby is born. I think it goes back to the old days ans some men think that thats the way of life. he goes to work and she stays home with the kids even though most women don't agree it's still gonna happen ...... tell him what you expect and want and need from him some men just need to be told those things
Good Luck
2006-11-13 15:31:44 · answer #2 · answered by wouldnt you like to know 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband actually does do a lot for me and the kids. He watches them on the weekends so I can go to work, changes poopy diapers, gives them baths, plays with them, reads with them. He is the most involved father I know. The only thing he won't do is take all 3 of them with him by his self to the store - I don't blame him, I hate that too.
But that is very rare for a man to be so involved these days.
I think it is because men are afraid of a crying baby. And because they are afraid of them the baby senses it and cries even more. Plus some men are just plain lazy.
My husband says he is willing to do whatever he has to, to build a strong loving bond with his kids so he will be able to communicate better with them as they get older. He doesn't want to be distanced from them emotionally because he wasn't there for them when they were babies or toddlers.
Maybe if you explained that part of it with your man he might come around and start helping out more.
2006-11-13 15:39:13 · answer #3 · answered by Lesley C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister just got married and had two kids within three years. They both have full time jobs, actually she takes home more money and is the one with the health benefits. The husband refuses to change diapers or wake up at all at night to tend the crying jags. I find that most men see babies as women's work even though they can't even bring home the bacon anymore. If you want a guy who diapers babies and tends to the kids, find that out what their opinion of the issue is before you marry them.
2006-11-13 15:28:21 · answer #4 · answered by JJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't. If they do they made that choice either by having children with a certain type of man or by allowing the father to do nothing.
My husband did as much as I did when it came to the kids when he was not at work. He knew that when he came home it was time to be a parent. That's the way it works. If I had no help from him I would have left with the kids.
2006-11-14 08:15:38 · answer #5 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband does a lot. He is very involved with the kids. He helps around the house. I try to get most of the work done so he doesn't have to help. He works 12 hour shifts. But he knows I work hard so he doesn't have to and so that makes him willing to help out. He does laundry and helps clean. He knows I hate cleaning bathrooms so he'll do those if he happens to be home when I'm cleaning. I never ask him to vacuum because I know he hates it. He helps with dinner and dishes and there are some days he does all the cooking. He takes the kids to their sports and lessons. We homeschool and I do most of that but if my husband is home he'll often step in for awhile--especially with math and science. He'll get them ready for bed. Last night I was browsing the web and he took them up and got them in their bath and into jammies and ready for bed. I don't feel at all that I have to do everything when it comes to the kids. We share all of it.
He always says, "I work all day, you work all day. So, when I get home we have to team up and tackle everything together."
I'm very lucky.
2006-11-13 18:10:02 · answer #6 · answered by Amelia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is hard for women to let people help them. I know that I do more than my husband, but a lot of the time I don't like the way he does things and I'd rather just do it myself. Lots of men just weren't raised to think that they can do much when it comes to raising the kids. The best thing you can do is to raise your sons not to expect their wife to do everything for them. Also when you ask for your husbands help, let him help without correcting him even if he doesn't always do things your way.
2006-11-13 15:20:58 · answer #7 · answered by kat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either you have the wrong man or the wrong approach. My husband stays home with our 3 kids while I work. He does laundry, cleaning, cooking, everything. I help out when I can, of course, but he does most of it. Financially it makes sense for us and he stands up to people that try to tell him to get a job so I can stay home.
2006-11-13 16:57:10 · answer #8 · answered by Wendy N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women these days don't require men to do anything, it is really sad. I am 23 weeks and I expect my husband to help out a lot and he knew that before I got pregnant and I am going to see that it happens and he helps out.
2006-11-13 15:20:36 · answer #9 · answered by Sakora 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kat gave you a very good answer. The 1% of men I know who want and try to help get frustrated because their wives won't let them because they think they don't know what to do.
2006-11-13 15:26:08 · answer #10 · answered by clueless_nerd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋