Should I tell her and betray my friends trust?

Question

In early summer, my mates girlfriend left him out of the blue (they were living together and were going out for a year) and it's totally f*cked him up. He's not really had the best pick of relationships since I've known him.

I've been an ear to him over the last 3 months and he's told me he's into this girl who's also helped him through this relationship too. He doesn't want to tell her because "he's too scared of rejection".

I don't wanna sound preachy and I really shouldn't be nosing into his business like this, but I think she's great for him. She actually listens to him and he constantly talks about her.
I don't know if he wants to tell her but later on, or he's just not up for it.

What should I do? Should I just leave him to his own devices or mention it to her in passing?

She's actually at university away from home (not too far) at the moment too.

Answer 1

don't go there...she might not like him like that and than it would crush him....but if they stay friends for a long time she could grow to like him...relationships are complicated and the best ones grow from people who have known eachother a long time and were friends to begin with!

Answer 2

Wow 8 years in a a techniques off relationship is a lot to stop on so without project. You 2 have had to lengthy lengthy handed through way of lots to get to this ingredient. adult males are only adult males many cases, it would not propose lots extremely. I comprehend you're damage and for that you really could communicate with him about it. each and each and every time one is damage, communication has to exist. do not preserve concerns in Bcz he likely loves you previous the best purchase/absolutely everyone else. Being a dumb jerk isn't a relationship criminal, that's only being a guy. I authentic doubt he has any concept you've been even damage. communique BB--that is what holds concerns at the same time as you watch all others fall away. reliable good fortune N lengthy Love

Answer 3

Usually when some one intervenes in someone else's life ,,, especially their love life they are placing themselves in a position where they could possibly be criticized later if things fall through the floor and your advice was faulty ,,,, If he is your friend then the best thing you can do for him is just be a listening post so to speak ,,,, If he asks your advice then be ready to provide it ,,,, That way you can always say he asked ,,,, I don't think you should volunteer anything on your own ,,,, You can't live his life for him and you can't always be there to coach him so this is something he has to figure out on his own ,,,, Probably the best thing you can do is just leave it lay ,,,, Don't get involved until you are asked ,,,,

Answer 4

If you have a decent relationship with her as well as your friend, go for it. Sounds like he could use a little help. On the other hand, part of his problems might be that he obsesses too much about who he is with and suffocates relationships. You might tell him to get some other interests in his life that won't make who he is dating such a focus and center for his being. He needs to have something else that he loves and talks about besides a girl.

Answer 5

He may need to go at his own pace. You can mention it to her but he may need her just as a friend for now and a relationship may be moving to quick for him. He may not only be afraid of rejection, but if it doesn't work out with her he will lose someone that's helped him get through a lot of pain. I would give it some time, see how their relationship progresses on its own, and then intervene if he really doesn't start to see it for him self after awhile.

Answer 6

Its a tricky situation, on one hand he is just out of a bad relationship. On the other he seems really close to this girl.

From the sound of it it appears that she possibly might be interested in him to, is she a friend of yours? If that is the case then just casually mention your friend and see what she has to say about him, or say something along the lines of "so whats going on between you too, you seem kind of close" and see what her reaction is.

I guess my best advice would be to generally stay out of it, but it never hurts to see what she might possibly feel and tell your friend about that instead of going to her for him.

Answer 7

Let them take their time. Allot of people rush into relationships way to fast.. building a lasting foundation for friendship takes a while often years... Friendship is the most important part of a life relationship. Trust and communicating what is important learning each others habits. goals. values. morals. are very important too. If you what it to last...Take Your Time... it will be so worth it. and since he has not had a good healthy relationship..let this one develop all on it's own...they obviously care about each other..just let life take it's course. let God Work. and Pray for them.

Answer 8

Maybe you could say something to her, but instead of focusing on HIS feelings ("Hey, just wanted to tell you that my friend likes you") you could focus on YOUR feelings ("Hey, just wanted to tell you I've noticed how great you two seem together!"). That way, you're not messing around in his business, and if you're lucky her response will say a lot in terms of how she feels about him. If it's positive, you can then tell your friend about the conversation you had with her.

Answer 9

I would talk to HIM and encourage him to tell her how he feels. Or fix him up on a date with her as a double with you (let him know ahead of time!) I'll bet if you talk to him about how great you think the two of them would be together he would go for it. I wouldn't tell her, though. That would be a breach of trust.

Answer 10

Let it be as it is. When he is ready he'll tell her or maybe she already has a clue and soon she'll make a move. But don't rush your friends chance of learning to trust again.