It's a really sad story, and I'm sure alot of people will think she's stupid. So my girlfriend has very low self-esteem and has been in a 2 year abusive drug filled relationship. She actually tried to leave last year but was manipulated into going back. Her boyfriend is a crackhead and has her doing it too. He beats her, yells at her, doesn't allow her to do anything. Freaks out about the dumbest things like guys she was with before him...blah blah blah. She is desperate to leave but is terrified to do so. I've offered to let her stay with me, but she won't do it. I know she is terrified but she needs to get out, and I don't know what else I can do. We are planning to move out west in June, but what can we do til then. She says that she's made her bed and now she must lie in it, but I can handle watching my best friend wither away... ADVICE PLEASE......
2006-11-13 06:56:01 · 10 answers · asked by CuteChic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she does not have to lie in it...but she is dealing with a lot of different emotions. He is telling her she is worthless and that she wont make it with out him and more things like that..she has huge doubts about herself and even though you are giving her all the self confidence she needs, she needs to believe on her own that she can make it. It is very diffcult to get out of a situation like that ( I did it though,it was very emotional and very diffcult) I was never into the drugs though...I am glad that you are such a caring friend and that you are standing by her. A lot of "friends" get sick of waiting for her to leave and then they get mad at her b/c she isn't leaving and they stop being friends with her..there is no way to understand all that she is going through unless you have been through it to....can she leave him while he is at work,take the very bare minimums..the rest she can by new...does he know about your plans to go out west in June....do you have any place you can hide her and your place is not the answer b/c that is the first place he is going to look, get the police involved....they can go with her to get the rest of her stuff...she can put a restraining order on him..when he comes near her have him arested...I wish her all the best of luck and just hang in there for her
2006-11-13 07:05:51 · answer #1 · answered by Dark Goddess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend is having a time of it! She is dealing with some hard issues that are hard to deal with alone, a good friend is just what she needs and has that in you. If you really care about her and want to help SHE MUST LEAVE NOW! There is no waiting in this situation. If he feels that something is up it may end up very bad! She needs to go in a shelter to protect herself and yourself as well. Hopefully the shelter will help her get off the drugs. I would look into a shelter that is not in the same town that she lives near. So that he can not find her. Then in June if your plans are to move she will be able to move on to better things. You are her ONLY FRIEND she can count on. HELP HER! GOOD LUCK BEST WISHES
2006-11-13 15:21:48 · answer #2 · answered by beaner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that a relationship cannot be over untill the girl says enough is enough. The drugs don't make it any easier though. What I would do is to help my friend get clean first. There will always be the urge to get high, and the boyfriend will have that urge she wants, unless she can get help. Get her clean, then by the time you move she will have maybe gotten clean enough to not bring the drugs and boyfriend to a new area. She will have a fresh start. If she goes into a rehab they will probably be able to protect her from him and keep him away.
Good Luck
2006-11-13 15:04:18 · answer #3 · answered by FANNY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be congratulated for caring so much about your friend. I can appreciate your frustration but at one point, she, as an adult makes her choice as we all do.
One thing you might try is an intervention where you gather some equally caring friends and family of this girl together to talk to her about the fact that she actually does have choices. Perhaps you can put her in touch with the a local community health / addiction resource person who might also come to your meeting.
She is in bad need of personal counselling and other support.
2006-11-13 15:04:37 · answer #4 · answered by Jo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, she is brainwashed by the guy and the drugs. She's a zombie. You can't help or change someone that is not willing/wanting to change. I'm afraid it will take something major to snap her out of this trance.
The most you can do is to keep drilling it in her head that this is not right and that you are there to help her whenever she wants help. Maybe offer her soem phone numbers of shelters and what not.
God bless, lot's of luck.
2006-11-13 15:00:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm, let me give some advice to YOU - don;t move in with a crackhead, silly decision....make sure she's off the drugs BEFORE you move in with her, why must you be her saviour at the risk of her messing up your fiances wit her drug abuse
2006-11-13 14:59:40 · answer #6 · answered by sa-da-tay 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
get a hold of a drug councillor and ask them how to deal with this , you friend does need help but a professional might do a bit better with advise
2006-11-13 14:59:14 · answer #7 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell someone close to her maybe like her parents,a preacher(someone thats close to god)send her to church.If that doesn't work ,get the police involved.
I really hope this works
2006-11-13 15:01:23 · answer #8 · answered by milkyway 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point, she is probably more addicted to crack than she is to him. Truly? The best thing you could do is narc them out so she gets some help.
2006-11-13 14:58:26 · answer #9 · answered by Kacky 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nothing you can do. People cant change people. Its the indivdual that has to want to make the change.
2006-11-13 14:58:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋