I have been with my boyfriend now for a year and a half, he's the most wonderful man I've ever met. The only problem is that I don't trust him. Not because he's cheated or has given me a reason to, but because of my previous relationships. I started seeing my boyfriend straight after leaving a terrible relationship with a guy who cheated on me a number of times and was abusive both physically and mentally. This has affected me more than I thought it would and I feel as though I can't trust any man. My boyfriend has basically had enough now and has threatened to leave me becaue he's sick of trying to convince me he won't hurt me. I just need to know how and if it is possible for me to ever trust him properly? Any success stories? Please help!!
2006-11-13 06:52:42 · 3 answers · asked by Den 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Here is what you need to do
1: Stop blaming what your ex did to you on him cause that is what you are doing you are blaming everything that happend with one man on another.
2: Realize that not every man is alike.
3: After you have 1 and 2 accomplished things should get easier for you so make a routine to do something the same way everymorning for yourself that will make yourself feel appreciated and worth something {your lacking your self esteem} meaning when you get up wear make up if you wear make up and style your hair wear sexy clothes
4: Now that you accomplished step 3 here is something to keep in mind and it works " i am very attractive if he loves me he loves me if he dont love me there are waaaay better men out there for me" you have to remind yourself how attractive you are
5: Treat your new man as if there was no ex in the world, give him all your attention and all your love. And just know he is not going to hurt you and risk loosing you.
Now these top 5 should work let me tell you something sweety, i was with a guy for 8 months only to find out that he is married and has a couple of kids, during those 8 months i was lower than dirt in his eyes finally one day i said i have enough i hate men and i cant stand them and told him where to shove it i went on for the next two months like that i really hated men i couldnt stand them i was hurt i was heart broken i suffered abusive and everything my husband came into my life and when i met him i made a routine every morning to put make up on right before we even started dating i made sure that there is no way he will hurt me and risk loosing me i made myself believe that if he hurts me he is gone and than i told him and hes never hurt me and on top of that after telling him my problems with my past he was the one that told me " look you should NEVER blame what happend with ex on any other guy cause the next guy you get could be Mr right and if you are hurting him like that he wont be Mr right he will leave you because of your accusations and i gotta say he was right i still mainted my routine cause it brings my self confidence back up and i enjoy doing something for me. i hope this helps. Good Luck
2006-11-13 07:23:09 · answer #1 · answered by mommyandbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for him!
You need to get some therapy if you want this relationship to work.
The past is over and you have to learn to deal with the present. It appears that you have issues besides trust. Get some help or you will not be able to function in a healthy relationship and you will simply drive men away.
2006-11-13 06:56:50 · answer #2 · answered by Angela 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its gonna take alot to let your gaurd down and eventually he will get annoyed by this but explain that you've had guy trouble and that you really want to trust him and to be patient and you'll work on it and eventually get better at it
2006-11-13 06:56:39 · answer #3 · answered by hot_pink_gurl85 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋