i ran into this guy 8 months ago and we really hit it off, i was still bitter about catching my ex of a few years cheating(they r mutual friends),he listened and undertsood,he drove me home that night and i invited him to stay, i asked him to sleep in the bed with me,he did, i aksed him to put his arm around me he did till i slept he was such a gentlaman.things were awkward the next morning whe he left,a mutual freind tol dme he liked me but was freaked about my ex(who still wants me back)i saw him again 2 months after that night and he came to me and said"your killing me"my ex was also there and upset that we liked eachother.I thought of him ever since,i sent him a text a while back and he never replied.6 months later i saw him at a party and when he walked in he saw me and looked away,later in the night we crossed paths and he smile and said"hey whats up"like nothing was there anymore.what happened to me "killing"him?i cant seem to forget about him.
2006-11-13 06:50:29 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You freaked him out by asking him to stay and then to hold you in your bed. That was not very mature thinking.
Now, I do not want to hurt your feelings but I think that you turned
him off so I would just move on. The timing is all wrong now anyway.
2006-11-13 06:54:19 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm. Okay, so within 8 months:
> You met a guy and you seemed to hit it off.
> He spent the night.
> Things were awkward when he left.
> A mutual friend said Guy likes you, but is freaked out about your Ex.
> 6 months ago, Guy said "you're killing me."
> You text messaged him.
> He never replied.
> recently you saw him at a party - he avoided contact. When your paths crossed, he was neutral.
So. You had one night together where you seemed to connect, one confusing conversation, then... nothing. I'm not making light of what happened - Guy was there and sympathetic when you were hurting. That, however, seems to be it - so you bless him (in your heart) for being there when you needed a shoulder, and wish him well.
Based on what you say here, what I see is someone reeling from a difficult breakup, who met someone who seemed sympathetic, but nothing lasting came of it. Still, he was there that night, right? Didn't take advantage? So you can wish him well, even though he doesn't seem to be The One.
I mean, he never told you he liked you but was freaked out about your Ex, right? He said something confusing and dramatic, "You're killing me," then he left you alone.
If he wanted you, he would:
> Get in touch.
> Return your text message.
> Come toward you in public, not turn away.
> Say something a lot less confusing, like, "I really like you, but I don't know what to make of your relatonship with your Ex." Something you could reply to, so you could talk to each other, see if you have a future together.
He didn't do any of that. Which tells you that he may like you (a word with a lot of meanings), but not enough to wade in and pursue a relationship.
So how about this -- you get out, try new things, meet new people, build a life for yourself that you like. Work on healing your heart after the whole cheating/betrayal thing with your Ex. Along the way, you'll meet someone who likes you, someone you can trust, who will be open and clear about wanting to be with you.
Then, when you see your Ex, or Guy, you can just smile politely and say, "Hey, what's up? It's been a long time since I saw you last, but I've been so busy! I want you to meet New Guy." Good luck!
2006-11-13 07:04:07 · answer #2 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry! Look on the bright side, there are so many other fish in the sea and if he can't make up his mind, maybe it's time to see other guys. Also, try to avoid the exbf's friends? You need to stay away from the crowd if you want to start over. I've found in the past that cutting off communication from the person (even just temporarily) help get your mind off them, however, don't dwell on it! Go out there, meet other guys because he obviously can't appreciate what's infront of his eyes. Maybe he'll come around someday, but if you want to let go, you've got to allow yourself to move on sweetie. Good luck.
2006-11-15 03:35:45 · answer #3 · answered by .:miss:. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you need to just move on because he did. Maybe he is trying to protect his friendship with your ex. If you were killing him then he would have made more of an effort to be with you. Sounds like he is just not that into you. He may think you have too much drama in your life with your ex and all. You need to see people out of that circle and be all about yourself for a while. You will be surprised with the type of men you will attract when you are confident, independent and drama free. When you get yourself together you will be able to let go. I guess i am not sure who you are trying to let go, your ex or this guy? Sounds like you have moved on with your ex and that you don't need to obsess about a situation with this other guy that carried so little weight. This is a problem with women, we read too much into every little situation waisting so much time on men that probably do not think twice about us. Do you think he is at home obsessing about you or going out with his buddies and meeting other women. My vote is the second one so you need to do the same.
2006-11-13 07:04:07 · answer #4 · answered by micah z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't forget about your ex or his friend? You should definitely forget about your ex. Once a cheater always a cheater case closed. You might should forget about his friend also unless you really like him because when a relationship is over you need to get away from things that remind you of it. Guys are strange creatures sometimes they say things off of emotion at that particular time. He probably doesn't even remember telling you you were killing him.
2006-11-13 06:55:56 · answer #5 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems to be able to forget about you. Do like he does and say hello and move right along. Don't put to much thought into it, or you will drive yourself crazy. Never a good idea to date friends of your ex.
2006-11-13 06:53:26 · answer #6 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-22 00:44:41 · answer #7 · answered by turrill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best guess would be to get rid of the ex and go after that man. If he is as good as you make him to be he is a keeper. I always say if they cheat they will always cheat. So, to answer your question. Find that man and tell him how you feel and make something of it.
2006-11-13 06:54:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably trying to get over it. If you like him and want to make something with him, you have to tell him, and make your ex screw the heck off!!! If you don't want this friend, then let him be so he can enjoy life.
He may or may not still be interested,,, but I would tell him I want to spend time with him if I were you (and if that's what you want)
2006-11-13 06:53:49 · answer #9 · answered by carlaerickson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys are fickle. he is playing with your feelings. Nobody likes their feelings played with. Forget about him. When I got over my ex's I read a lot of books spent a lot of times with friends and try to look at other guys that should help.
2006-11-13 06:53:23 · answer #10 · answered by LIZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋