Im almost positive my father is having an affair. What should I do?

Question

My father has been acting different for the past few months. He's not as home as much, he drinks, and he spends less time with the family. Recently, my siblings and I proposed the idea that he's having an affair with a lady at work (he's always talking about her.) All signs point to an affair and we even found a few text messages in his phone having words like "love" in it. We are reluctant to tell our mother, knowing it would destroy her. She is a very humble lady and so trusting, we could never do that to her. How can we confront him if there's no solid proof? (he deleted the texts).

Answer 1

Say nothing.

My guess is your mom already suspects something may be going on.

It would hurt and embarrass your mom even more if she knew that her children know.

Let it all play out without any interference.

Answer 2

i am so sorry for what youre going through but sadly i can honestly say i know how you feel, my father put my sister and i in the same situation, after thinking it over we decided to tell my mom, she was being made to look like a fool bc everyone around us knew what was going on except her, they ended up splitting up for a while and then getting back together but at least once we told her she could do with the information what she wanted and we didnt feel like we were hiding it from her, its such a hard thing to go through, i wish your family all the best, men (even dads) are jerks!

Answer 3

Keep your mouth shut to your mother.

First, you have no proof. If you're wrong, you will still harm the trust that they have in marriage. Second, she might already know and is ignoring it (which many women choose to do). Third, this is their marriage and their business: Stay out of it.

Answer 4

Stay out of it. This is something going on between your mother and your father and it is something they need to work through. Who knows, maybe your mom even knows but she does not want it all blown up. Just leave it to them to work out and stop spying on your father.

Answer 5

There is solid proof. You saw the texts. Tell him you know and you want him to stop. There really isn't much more you can do.

Answer 6

Just tell him your suspicions and that you feel your mother should know about this. Let him handle it from there, but if he continues this.. I would tell my mother to avoid more pain later.

Answer 7

Well why are you following your fathers steps.That is between him and your mother.I think you should say out of it and let them take care of there stuff and you should take care of yours.