Do you carry the pain with you ?
Mine had a long-term affect on me. It's over now, but once in a while I remember it.
2006-11-13 06:29:23 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Dear Wishful Thinker: Me. I was hurt with such pain for so many years - over my 11 1/2 year marriage coming to its ending I thought I would never be okay again. It didn't stop me from dating and enjoying many relationships over the ensuing years - but the relationships had to remain light-hearted; I wasn't capable of anything more. One day, as a spiritually oriented person, I called upon Jesus to get into the pain with me and set straight inside of me all that I had not been able to come to grips with myself. He responded for me - faithfully - as He always has. I have a "tight" relationship with Him wherein we speak to each other through my Mind in a give and take type manner. One day, this is what He explained to me and wanted me to look at and contemplate:
He began showing me about human consciousness and that there are two parts of the human personality or "make up." He asked me to list what I thought my consciousness - through MY personality - meant: Wishful Thinker, you may make your own list and add more or completely different things to this list: He said to remember in this that the word consciousness is my OUTLOOK and how I would seek people who have a similar consciousness so that we match-up ! I do look for people of a similar Outlook and so do we all. This meant to me:
1. Similar expectations for your lives
2. Similar interests
3. Similarly talented or with abilities that cause a level of successful living (financial, creative, etc.).
4. Similar intellectual level
To me, those are people who I am similar to and most compatible with.
Next, Jesus said to make a heading called Greater Nature. He said this is the SEAT of the personality, itself. Encouraged to list things, I found these items coming up and out of my subconscious mind:
1. Level of Self Esteem ( I like it to be fairly high)
2. Integrity (An absolute must for me)
3. Sexual Expressiveness
4. Degree of Critical-ness
I admitted that those were and are the deepest parts of my personality that truly mattered to me. I would be most compatible with someone who shared the same degree of those things. Critical-ness, by the way, is interchangeable with judgmental thinking.
Now, Jesus showed me:
The Consciousness you have will throw you, automatically, together with others who share the same consciousness. You will find yourself having many of the same life experiences, interests, desires etc. which gives the FEELING of compatibility.
MOST OF US MARRY PARTNERS OF LIKE CONSCIOUSNESS.
Now, I looked at my Greater Nature (Deeper Nature).
My mate and I shared only one item ! We thought being compatible meant having the same interests, abilities, and expectations for our life. There was a deep failure of TRUE compatibility. I was STUNNED. I thought he was my "other half." Joined at the hip ! BUT, he wasn't even close.
All contention within a relationship comes from the incorrect mating of our Greater or Deeper Natures. Consciousness is more superficial. The imbalances, the chafing against each other, the irritations are due to our deeper natures, and requires constant adjusting. Similar "Greater Natures" can bring utter and total peace between you. This is what to aim for next time.
Upon seeing this, and going through my mind over where we both believed we failed each other, I saw the disaster that had been unavoidable. For me, the pain lifted at this moment, and never returned !
My "former" has been turned into a pleasant memory now. Some memories are quite happy ones. But there is only detachment now. No longer is there anything I WANT from him. Jesus had the right "teaching" or lesson for ME. I can't speak for you or anyone else.
Best regards, Lana
2006-11-13 10:22:44 · answer #1 · answered by Lana S (1) 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I was hurt but now I realize it was the best thing and wish my parents had divorced long before they did.
You need to move on. What's in the past is in the past. There's only the now and the future that you should be worrying about.
2006-11-13 14:33:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't, but I"ve met five different guys who came from divorced families. Of them, one was an abusive alcoholic, one had no respect for anyone, one was controlling, one was self-abusive, and the last was religious. Pretty much, since the religious one had no problems (he didn't drink, hit, or go after others, and he wasn't preachy), I can conclude that one out of five are not hurt by divorce.
2006-11-13 14:39:19 · answer #3 · answered by sister steph 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have had 4 stepmoms and be thru a divorce myself, but I leave the past in the past and go about my life the way I see fit.
2006-11-13 14:38:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex wife was holding me back, since our divorce in 01 ive become more financialy stable, and got away from alchol and drugs and just have a better life all the way around. plus i just got custody of our daughter and it only seems to be getting better
2006-11-13 14:32:24 · answer #5 · answered by bshelby2121 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I Have.
My father left us. It is like a death.
Time does make it better but the family is never the same.
Father is dead now. I think it is better now( families pain)
2006-11-13 14:30:46 · answer #6 · answered by King 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Mine liberated me. I was born again after it. My life restarted and I was able to breathe again.
Best thing that ever happened to me.
2006-11-13 14:33:58 · answer #7 · answered by Robert H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both the adults involved and especially the children
2006-11-13 14:30:55 · answer #8 · answered by Marvin R 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just about everybody.
2006-11-13 14:30:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I haven't thank God.
2006-11-13 14:30:34 · answer #10 · answered by flashypsw 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋