"how would you feel if your girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse didn't like your children"?

Question

How would handle a situation of that matter? Do you think you would have a choice to choose over your mate or your children especially if you were married? Does it make a difference if your girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife? if either parties didn't like ones children?

The question was asked do to a movie I saw. " Woman, Thou Art Loosed" If most of you haven't seen the movie... it was about a woman who dated a no good @$$...that ended up cheating on her doing drugs no job and molested her only daugther...but she continue to stay despite of ill manner behavior he represent to her...

We have alot of issue were child abuse is concern...and the women are most to blame b/c they choose to stay in hopeless relationship with men who treat them wrong and their kids...

Answer 1

It all depends on your situation. My husband has 2 teenagers and I get along great with the youngest but the oldest one who is 19 is just horribly mean. We don't get along at all. When my husband and I fight about her, he always sides with her because she is his child, but he never left me. He didn't leave me because deep down he knew that his daughter and I are just to diffrent people and we tried to get along and it just didn't work. In other words we made the effort to try to get along. Now she moved out and all the tension is gone in the household. I couldn't take living with her anymore and I basically told him that if things didn't change I would leave. He chose to stay with me because I was his future and his daughter has her own life now, because she is older. Now if it were young kids I would say the other person should suck it up and at least try and if there life is still miserable with the other persons kids then that couple should split up, because it won't get any better. Children always come first.

Answer 2

Such a situation would really suck - especially if I was married to the person.

I definitely would have taken the time to scrutinize my girlfriend's behavior around my child(ren) before we progressed to the next level, marriage. If I wasn't married to the person, and noticed that she didn't like me kid(s), then to hell with the relationship. I wouldn't be making any commitment with the person. The person has to be shown that the child(ren)'s happiness is sync with my own happiness. If they're not happy because of not being liked by my new wife/girlfriend, then I am not happy and if we're all not happy, then the relationship is unquestionably a no-go.

Yes! kids from a previous marriage or relationship does make a very big difference or should make a very big difference in a relationship between a father and a potential mother in-law or just a mere girlfriend.

My child(ren) and their well-being would be prioritized above all and I would expect that from any woman; Should I get into a relationship with a woman with kids already. "The way to the parent's heart is through the child(ren)."

Answer 3

That's a really tough situation. I'm assuming that these are not your spouse's/boyfriend's, etc, children?

I would want to have a chat with my partner and ask why they feel the way they do. Then I would talk with the kids, and get their input. Then I would need time to think the situation over, and see if any of the input makes any sense...although I think it would be really detrimental to take sides against your children.

In my opinion, this is a very big problem, and I'm a believer that the children should always come first...always. I would suggest marriage counseling, or maybe some kind of mediation between child and spouse, with a trained professional. If the spouse still can't get over this dislike, I would really begin to think seriously whether this is a good person to have in my life or not. I mean, if he's rejecting your kids, he's rejecting you in a way, because he should know that your kids are part of you, and important to you.

Just put your kids first, that's my opinion...but you have to do whats right for you. Good luck.

Answer 4

I think there's a lot more to this than can be wrote off with a one line answer. 95% of the time, yes, get rid of your boyfriend/girlfriend if they have a problem with your child, however, a lot of children can be absoulutely horrible to their parent's dates/new spouse to the point of torture trying to put up with them. If an older child is involved perhaps they are giving your partner a REASON for not liking them? I would sit my partner down and ask why they were having a problem with my child and make it clear to my child if they caused something that I loved this person very much and would appreciate if they tried to get along. I've had some friends in the past that have made their dad's girlfriends (or in one case their mom's new husband) lives a living hell behind their parent's back and the "new guy" didn't say anything for fear of being dumped over "child conflict". There's more to consider here than "THEY HATE MY CHILD-BYE!"....

Answer 5

When my step-mother first married my father it was a well known fact that we did not get along. She didn't dislike up but we made her life a living hell, but she loved our father and realized that we were part of him.

They have been married now for 13 years and because she treated us as her own even though we had our differences I have the upmost respect for the woman.

If "the spouse" trully loves the person he is with he will do his best to make things work with her children. He will realize that her children are part of her and that in order to become part of her life he has to become part of her childrens life.

If he cant do, or wont do this he isnt worth the air in your space.

Answer 6

Absoulutely, it matters a whole lot whether my child likes the person that i'm dating or not but esp. if they are young. They need a stable foundation to be raised in. They don't need to be "living" in tension.They don't need to constantly have on their mind how much they don't like their parents spouse. Esp when its time to go to sleep. It also affects the choices they make in life and in school esp. These type of children ususally act out in school it can show in their school work and/or behavior
If you are married i won't tell you to break up and get a divorce. i will tell you that what you need to do is reconize whats really going on with them individually. You need to ask them individually why they don't like eachother or why they respond/act in such a manner toward the person. When you have this information from them then you'll be able to think of.... i recommend atleast 3 solutions to help you to help them to learn how to respect one another as individuals even a child deserves to be respected.
Good Luck.

Answer 7

I don't think I would get to the point of marrying someone if I knew they didn't like my children. If I was already married when they stopped getting along it would depend on my children's ages. I would definitely try to get them to work things out and maybe go to counseling (especially if the kids are stll living at home.) If they are already living out the house I would just have them avoid each other.

Answer 8

If your boyfriend/girlfriend didn't like your children, then he/she needs to be shown the door. Your children come first, no matter how bad they are or whatever. They are your children and first responsibility. If your bf/gf can't handle them, then the relationship will never last so why waste time, right?

Answer 9

I would feel hurt, as if my girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse didn't like ME. My child IS PART OF ME, so I would take it personally and eventually quit the relationship. No spouse is worth choosing my children over.

Answer 10

a foul bump into and one could terminate the relationship if unmarried combating futher issues. Now when you're married i'd propose your major different search for counseling. it would make a large difference in a unmarried life with someone not liking the youngsters.