My situation do not involve kids but adult children. Can someone relates how to deal with situations when they do not want their parents to have another man besides their father or even date one. Another problem is that they come to visit and mess up the house with their children and cook and leave that mess their and want you to find someone to clean up after them. Someone knows what I am talking here and appreciation of response will surely give you the ten straight points.
2006-11-13 05:36:47 · 5 answers · asked by JoJoBa 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Time to stand up for yourself. Sounds like you have been tolerating this behavior for awhile and you are ready to do what you have to do to make a change.
Set ground rules with the adult children privately. I am assuming the adult children are either your sons or your daughters. Be very exact about where you stand and explain respectfully but firmly that you are not a slave or a maid. Tell them you enjoy spending time with them but if it means more work for you then that time will become less.
If you are dating because you are divorced from their father, explain that you are not dead and you are entitled to a life that does not require their approval.
Remind them that you fulfilled your obligation to them as a parent and now you will give them the same time and space and respect to raise their own children without having to cook and/or clean up after them
2006-11-13 09:34:54 · answer #1 · answered by Cymbaline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell them that they grew up, left home and started their OWN families - and, while it's true that you are their parents - you, as parents have the right to make your own decisions on how to live YOUR life - they may not like or approve of what you do, but it's none of their business. you let them control their own life the way that they want to, and you EXPECT them to allow you to do the same thing. if they leave such a mess when they visit, i'd let them know that while you don't mind them using your home as their own, you expect them to clean it up - they are not children any longer and they should start taking responsibilities as adults.
2006-11-13 14:36:08 · answer #2 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am going thro the same thing my b/f has 4 adult children and they called me everthing in the book and done alot more and if she wants another man she has to stick with that. and if the kids dont want that they may not talk to her for a while like my case but they will come around in time its a shock to them and they r afraid of chance but like all the other storys that i heard from friends if she sticks to it they will come around again as far as cleaning up theur mess same going stand up to them
2006-11-13 13:43:53 · answer #3 · answered by ghostofthenite 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you really need to stand up for yourself. You seem to be tolerating way too much.
For one thing, they are adults. You have your own life to lead now since your kids are grown. You need to tell them this.
And as far as them coming over and making messes, why arent you getting on them to clean up??? A spine would be helpful.
2006-11-13 13:40:32 · answer #4 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, its his problem to cure. Put your foot down with him that you will no longer accept a mess from children who do not respect you as more than a maid. You are not trying to be their mother but you are not their problem so they should not be yours.
It all comes to respect and they are not showing any.
2006-11-13 13:40:41 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋