question set up:
you know this guy of another race for maybe 2weeks, you are dating at the 3week mark. he is jealous and HE checks your phone and texts males that you have a boyfriend and not to contact you anymore, he doesnt want you to hang around or bring around males of your same race. he doesnt like you mother because he said she is controlling you(by the way your mother or your family/friends dont like him) he never wants you to leave he gives you a key to his apartment and then wants you to move in. all this takes place no more than a month! this is not all i just dont feel like typing in all of the negatives bcuz there are so many!! ...are these signs of someone who might harm someone...
i am just about through with my relative i am at a lost and don't know what to do or say to her.. do yall see a major problem?
2006-11-13 05:28:33 · 21 answers · asked by cutiepie11 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the reason i put the race information in is bcuz he told her that he doesnt date women of the same race as his period. and that my family as well as other families of girls he's dated were the same etc
2006-11-13 05:59:17 · update #1
also she keeps saying he is so sweet and he cooks for her and etc. he treats her like a queen etc...!!!
2006-11-13 06:02:09 · update #2
1. Does your partner tease you in a hurtful way in private or in public?
2. Does your partner call you names such as "stupid" or "*****"?
3. Does your partner act jealous of your friends, family, or co-workers?
4. Does your partner get angry about clothes you wear or how you style your hair?
5. Does your partner check-up on you by calling, driving by, or getting someone else to?
6. Has your partner gone places with you or sent someone just to "keep an eye on you"?
7. Does your partner insist on knowing who you talk with on the phone?
8. Does your partner blame you for his problems or his bad mood?
9. Does your partner get angry so easily that you feel like you're "walking on eggshells"?
10. Does your partner hit walls, drive dangerously, or do other things to scare you?
11. Does your partner often drink or use drugs?
12. Does your partner insist that you drink or use drugs with him?
13. Have you lost friends or no longer see some of your family because of your partner?
14. Does your partner accuse you of being interested in someone else?
15. Does your partner read your mail, go through your purse, or other personal papers?
16. Does your partner keep money from you, keep you in debt, or have "money secrets?"
17. Has your partner kept you from getting a job, or caused you to lose a job?
18. Has your partner sold your car, made you give up your license, or not repaired your car?
19. Does your partner threaten to hurt you, your children, family, friends, or pets?
20. Does your partner force you to have sex when you do not want to?
21. Does your partner force you to have sex in ways that you do not want to?
22. Does your partner threaten to kill you or himself if you leave?
23. Is your partner like "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," acting one way in front of other people and another way when you are alone?
2006-11-13 05:30:49 · answer #1 · answered by tortdog 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
YES!!!!!!! And so do you, sweetheart, or you wouldn't be concerned about this. Please know that a man who jumps right into such close intimacy has issues ABOUT intimacy. He will segregate you from anyone who will support and love you. He will begin to nag at everything you are and stand for. Nothing you wear, say, do or feel will ever be right or enough. You will never be able to love him enough. He will always be suspect of your time, energy, love and attention to anything or anyone else, feeling left out. Or threatened, as your fellow does when you have male friends. The issue of his being another race really has nothing to do with it... I have dated and married white, I have dated and married black, and I have dated other ethnicities in between marriages, and there are idiots all the way around. GET OUT while you can, and if necessary, have a restraining order put out against this young man. Otherwise you may just wake up in a situation one day that you REALLY don't want! Good luck, and you can contact me through here if you want to. I'm available to talk anytime. Good for you for recognizing this right off the bat like this. Smart girl!! :)
2006-11-13 05:39:13 · answer #2 · answered by themom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any relationship it fairly is modern-day with both actual, emotional/psychological/verbal or sexual abuse. One individual contained in the relationship persistently victimizes the different individual through those abusive behaviors. that's a problematic question to respond to..in case you would have requested "what's verbal abuse?" or "what's actual abuse?"..it will be more convenient to respond to. in spite of if someone "enjoys" the abuse, I nonetheless call it an abusive relationship. i imagine some those who grew up in abusive households do not understand a thanks to be treated proper even as they become older. the hardest area is the sufferer being waiting to depart the abusive relationship.
2016-11-23 19:42:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, trick her into an intervention. Those are some serious signs the next will be that he hits her. She will feel like it is her fault. And its not. She needs help just take her away do and intervention and get her some help. Show her what a happy relationship should be. That is horrible. I'm so sorry your relative is going through that and you have to watch. Good luck.
2006-11-13 05:32:00 · answer #4 · answered by Lovely Lady 27 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW.......
all the signs are there.......
problem is.........she DOES see them.........she just won't face them
Just don't be through with her........she is going to need family to be by her side.....just let her know that you will be there for her
I know it gets aggravating.......but most women stay in those relationships for TWO reasons:
one....to attempt to prove everyone wrong about him (which never happens)
two....everyone has abandoned her and she has no one to help her out
What she is going through is totally unhealthy mentally, emotionally and physically........
but, as an outsider of the relationship, it is very hard to make her see that.....
and since he is of another race.....that makes it even harder because now her family is racist....(according to him and her)
when race has no play in it most of the times.......its how the female is being treated that puts the family off
2006-11-13 05:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by sapphirenplatinum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep, she is in an abusive relationship, and these are signs that he may harm her in the future. There's something inside her that is drawing her to this guy... and unfortunately she has her own mind and will. I have a very very good friend who is with an abusive partner... and finally, after 6 years she's living in a diff city than him (apparently in a process to 'leave' him)... but I almost think her ways haven't changed and she still may go back to him. Live your life and enjoy it. We all make choices. Tell your cuz that she can date whatever a$$hole she desires, but convince her to tie her tubes or use norplant or something... because kids should NEVER be dragged into this! As for her, she has a right to subject herself to crappy relationships, as sad as it is.
2006-11-13 05:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by carlaerickson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Major problem! Yes. You have to run now. NOW!!! it is obvious that such a person would not hesitate in physically abusing you to make sure you are only his. Satying with him means that you tolerate that behaviour, and that will only encourage him. By the way, it has nothing to do with the other race. Dating outside of your race is harder for guys that girls.
2006-11-13 05:58:03 · answer #7 · answered by Mimiche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a clean break and run for the hills. Tell him you don't see him as a key element of happiness in your future. Actually text message him...tell him he is not welcome to come visit or call. If he ignores this..warn him you will get a restraining order tell him the warning is witnessed and recorded. Do not cave and s/w him...if he continues to call after 3 times...file for a restraining order. Usually our questions are a sign of what our sub concious is trying to tell us. He has potential. This guy is insecure, immature and rude. He doesn't care about you. You are a object to him. Screw that.
2006-11-13 05:34:38 · answer #8 · answered by Win 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy seems controlling and jealous. I would think twice b 4 moving in with guy, who knows how he is behind close doors. Now i don't know why he wouldn't want you to hang out with guys of your own race maybe hes intimidated... Be careful and good luck.....
2006-11-13 05:33:39 · answer #9 · answered by alizah2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see a major problem! If he loves u that much he should want to meet ur friends and ur family. This guy is way too controling and don't think u'll be able to change him. and if u try it will only make him worse. GET OUT!
2006-11-13 06:33:11 · answer #10 · answered by ~B~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋