How do I get my 14yr old interested in school?

Question

He is smart and very social. But, he hates school. He hates having to pay attention and learn. His father & I have been divorced for 2 yrs. His father & I do not see eye to eye on how to raise our children. I am up against a brick wall where my son is concerned. Any body have any ideas?

Thank you to everyone! I have to say, that I butt heads with my son's dad. I cannot make a move to help my son where this man doesn't take it away. We have our kids, 50/50... But my ex does not discipline & follow through. I have tried the contracts for $ - I've grounded, taken things away, & yet nothing has worked. I really think the counseling session is a great idea & maybe my last resort! (btw, I do remember trying this before. My ex went completely OFF thinking this was a knife in his back as me trying to get back at him for something. My son refused to go after that.) Why do some divorced parents do this to their kids? Thinking only about themselves?

Oh, he is in sports... He stays eliglible, but barely.

Answer 1

As a teacher, I know the groundwork for school is laid early. You read to your pre-schooler and let him see you reading, and he learns that reading and learning are fun! But at this point, you need to do a little more than set an example. You need to explain to your son that in order to grow up to be a smart and terrific man, he needs to become as educated as he can achieve. Your job is to work and bring in household money. HIS job is to get an education. If he doesn't focus easily (perhaps he had attention deficit disorder?), it will be harder for him, but you need to point out to him that adults have to do their income taxes, and file for unemployment, learn how to measure for carpets, etc. It will make him a smarter man/husband/father, if he learns all he can now. Tell his father, that if he doesn't help you get this boy motivated to stay in school and learn, you will see to it that he comes to live with him when, as an adult, he can't find a job someday. Your son may hate having to pay attention and learn, but we ALL have to do things we hate to do, because it is right to do them! Getting educated is just one of them.

Answer 2

Basically, your son needs a counselor who will listen to him and/or spend time with him. Try finding him a "big brother", a community volunteer who will spend time with him each week, listen to him, and give him guidance he won't take from a female. Also, he may be more intelligent than than the groups he is studying with. I was and didn't realize it until I was in my forties. All general classes in all public schools are paced at the speed of the lowest performer, and have been for many years. This sets the very bright students up for extreme boredom and under performance. See if there isn't someway to verify your son's IQ, learning methods, and level of knowledge. Maybe he needs to get into some demanding classes as well as extracurricular activities. That's about all I can think of at the moment.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Having 3 sons, I have been thru this with 2 of them. It's not easy! I would talk to his school counselor first, what are his grades like? have they dropped? Does he do his homework?Unfortunately you and your ex don't sit on the same "playing field" when it comes to kids. My ex was the same way. Very easy going and not involved at all. My oldest sons don't speak to him, the youngest goes out of his way to see his dad 2 times a week. I would say that he might be having problems not having his dad around as much as he may want. Or he could be behind in school and doesn't think he will be able to catch up. This was my middle sons problem. When I spoke to his counselor, we decided to focus on the main subjects, math,english and history and the teachers gave him extra days to complete assignments. I also found out that he was dyslexic, not a problem that had been caught by all the previous teachers. He was in 10th grade at this time. Anyway, backtracking here, I would start with the schoold first and check out the grades. Then I would let the ex know what's going on , be firm but nice and tell him what you expect of him as a parent, for the sake of your son. Good Luck!

Answer 4

If he is not interested in skool then you need to take away stuff he enjoys doing. You say he is very social, so take away his social life for awhile, show him how important a good education is, take him to a part of town where there are alot of homeless people or better yet to a soup kitchen have him volunteer with you and show him in most cases if you don't do well and complete school this is where you could end up. He also has to have a motivating factor you say you and his father are divorced, then ty and set something up with him where if your son does well in school set up a monetary reward every time the report card is above a 3.0.

Answer 5

Speak to the school counselor maybe something is happening at school that is bothering him. When parents are divorced the kids sometimes blame themselves, both parents should have the child's interest at heart and work together to resolve it, i understand what you are going through and when you see the school counselor the father should be included, also when a child is having trouble focusing or learning it maybe a medical problem seeking medical help is an option too.

Answer 6

i never liked shool either but after a while i went 2 c a child sycolagist and got diagnoised with a phobia of school but i really didnt like it! if hes the same he might hav the prob i used to hav panic attacks before i reached my scool gate. Or mayb he is just really stubborn and needs abit more praise you could always use bribe or blackmail

Answer 7

one project why would he have a knife to college contained in the first position? If he's being bullied in college or he fearful of strolling living house he nonetheless do not have that?! i'd take him to a known practitioner or some thing? yet fairly it is your parenting because no ascertain could keep a knife contained in the living house for his or her 14 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous to carry to college? If he used to stab someone or provoke a gang member (in the journey that they have one in his college) to make stronger him up....law enforcement officials on the college can use their guns and possably shoot him without hesitation as a thanks to keep the different scholars danger-free?

Answer 8

Sounds like he is in the middle between you and your ex - whether intentional or not. He is rebelling! He is not happy for whatever reason and school is an easy 'out'. Sports might help if he is not already involved, but you might also try a psychologist - they are great, especially for teenagers. They tend to talk to anyone but their parents.

Answer 9

He needs a mentor. Let him spend a day with a successful doctor, lawyer or someone in another field he is interested in. Then let him spend a day at a fast food restaurant.

Answer 10

I think when it comes to school, there should be rewards for good grades. I mean, a kid gets an A and what does he get for that hard work? Usually nothing. I think if there was a reward involved for good grades kids would have something to look forward to and would actually try their best at schoolwork.