i'm 9 weeks pregnant and i also have a 4 year old. my 8 year old is really violent and doesn't listen to ANYONE i'm always at his school because he is always hurting someone. he tells lies like you wouldn't believe. he has been hurting my 4 year old since birth and now that i'm pregnant again i'm a little scared. my 4 year old is loving and a pretty normal guy. i love ALL of my kids but i'm worried about what my 8 yr old will do to the baby. has anyone gone through this? if you are offering places to contact i'm from toronto, canada.
2006-11-13 05:15:15 · 18 answers · asked by nelly78 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Fyi tried spanking and the problems got worse so i stopped
2006-11-13 05:20:55 · update #1
and i'm not a single mother i live with my bf
2006-11-13 05:30:21 · update #2
your 8 year old is real angry. boy or girl?do you have family counciling? any doctor should be of help reffering you big brother big sister program? i'm from pennsylvania not familiar with canada. you still have a bit of time but don,t wait to long your child is lassing out in anger which most times is caused by pain could be as simple as migraines but also could be more serious good luck and GOD bless do you and your boyfriend argu or fight in front of the children? don't answer just think. not all off the hook children have bad parents or are abused. i am not judging you or your boyfriend but sometimes children act what they see. re-evaluat and get family counciling do not single the child out it will make things worse.
2006-11-13 05:41:06 · answer #1 · answered by tink 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay the only reason he is acting this way is becaue you are letting him, where is the father figure in this picture? The reason children do this is because they want attention, the only way they get attention from you, especially being busy with your 4 year old and now the one that will be coming he feels any attention is good attention so he acts out so you can yell at him. He needs to be disciplined and loved. Make time with him each week for just you and him time, take him to a special place that he wants to go , find out what he likes to do, what his interests are. There are no bad kids just bad parenting. If he continues to lie take away toys, games,etc. I had to do this with my son i took his playstaion 2 away until Christmas. he is a little angel lately cause everytime he lies or is bad i take a toy away that he really enojys. If you do this your son will realize hey i am losing all my toys here. They get it kids are not stupid by any means.
2006-11-13 05:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by Heather W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, I'm verry sorry for you!
in Europe there are TV shows called something like "Super Nanny" with families from Britain, Germany, France and Russia having their problems resolved.
I think you do need a help of a specialist. Maybe there is such programme in Canada, too?
Or you can contact a child psychologist - family health is worth any money on Earth!
or just try asking some police officer to scare or even take the older kid to 'jail' for a day or even a couple of hours (in the meantime, telling him he's going there for a month).
I'm out of ideas. I hope I could help if only a bit.
2006-11-13 05:21:35 · answer #3 · answered by cockney 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG Tina...don't even listen to her. When you use physical discipline you are telling your children it is ok to hit others.
You should talk to your child's school. They should be able to give you a list of professionals that can help you. I hope you are not buying him things? By giving him things he wants you are just letting him know his behavior is acceptable.
I am a firm believer if you make a punishment severe enough the child will not want to repeat the offense again. For my 3 year old his toy room is locked. And after the first 3-4 times you are suprised how quick they react.
2006-11-13 05:21:35 · answer #4 · answered by Summer H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've got a number of problems going on with this child. Basically, though, he is telling the world that he's pissed about something, and probably about having to compete with younger siblings for your time and attention. Others have suggested that you lay down the law and use the belt. These methods may curtail his symptoms now, but their will be a resurgence later on, probably in his teen years. You and he need to go to counseling. You need to learn to listen to him and understand better what he needs from you. He needs to understand his anger, why he's feeling it, and how to talk with you about his problems. Also, from what you haven't said, I gather that you're a single mom. This is big part of his emotional imbalance. You need to call family services, or whatever agency corresponds to that in Canada, and ask for referrals or for help. Now, not later.
Good luck.
2006-11-13 05:28:20 · answer #5 · answered by quietwalker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start with your pediatrician or the boy's doctor. Let him evaluate the child. You need to fill him in and be complete with what he is doing and how he is acting. Your doctor can refer you to help or perhaps work up a treatment plan with you. He may just be having issues with you bringing in new babies or he may truly have an illness that needs to be addressed and fixed if possible.
Good luck with this, don't let it go on much longer, it truly isnt fair to your 4 year old son to have to tolerate abuse from his older brother. This is teaching him bad habits, bad self image and you will only compound your problems if he starts to behave the same way.
2006-11-13 05:20:46 · answer #6 · answered by kimmi_35 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have your son evaluated for emotional disorder. You can either do this through a private psycologist, or ask for the school to evaluate him (they do it for free). If he qualifies, the school system can help him with anger management issues and behavior modification. You can also talk to your pediatrician about your concerns and see what s/he recommends. in any way, you need to try to find him some help before the new baby comes.
Good luck.
2006-11-13 05:23:06 · answer #7 · answered by Ritata 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think a belt is the best option- because it's condoning violence. At this age- I would say counseling is the best option or just sit down with him and talk to him one on one. Maybe he's feeling threatened or like he's not getting enough attention being that he has younger siblings.
2006-11-13 05:19:31 · answer #8 · answered by KC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he needs more discipline ..You have to be consist and do it now before the baby comes . Because he will resent the baby if you don't have this figured out by then. Good Luck
2006-11-13 05:20:24 · answer #9 · answered by mary3127 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the most important thing is that you immediately stop him from hurting ur younger son. he doesent desrve to be abused do u have any family help? give ur son an ultimatum and i knw itll be hard but tell him that hesendangering ur family and will go to boot camp it sounds like he needs some dicipline. and physical dicipline will not help. they have boot camps for out of control pree teens or younger
2006-11-13 05:18:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋