I'm 26, have no children and single. I want a baby and know that i'm in a very prominent profession and could afford it. Although i'm not dating anyone right now, my bestfriend is a male and we have discussed raising a child together. Both of us could really take on the responsibility and actually afford it. So would it be wrong to have a child now?
2006-11-13 04:45:42 · 22 answers · asked by Glamourous 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
when i had my son and i was holding him i understood that having a child is never a bad thing. whatever the reasons a person comes into this world...doesn't take away from the fact that a life is formed and is being lived. i have no problem with the situation you presented. if you have faith in your and your friends ability to do this. it is not for any of us to judge. its a decision i personally would take some time to weigh on several accounts...having my son is a wonderous and perfect addition to my life. but it affects my hours at work and my relationships with friends. if you are ready then talk to your friend about everything...all the big things. religion and politics and education and visitation...
make sure you both are completly in agreement and then good luck with your decision!
2006-11-13 05:01:10 · answer #1 · answered by lighting goddess 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Please accept that having a child is far more than just an answer to your desire and needs. The creation of a life is a massive responsibility. It really doesn't sound like you have a home set up for this child. It's not necessary to have two parents, but a stable, safe home environment is essential. And from what you've said, my impression is that this would not be the best time.
You absolutely must consider the child's well being before your own, no matter what you want. If it means being the best auntie in the world, but never a mom, so be it. Be that auntie. The world and it's children could use a lot more wonderful and caring aunties than overstressed, overworked or absent moms.
2006-11-13 12:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by Celtic Rebel 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it is wrong or selfish to want a child. I think it is wrong to have a child because you think it will fix something or to try to trap someone into staying in a relationship. Just remember it will be hard to be a single mom. Really think about it and make sure that you believe you are giving a child the best life you can. You may feel like your clock is ticking, but you are still young. You do still have time to find the right person and settle down. But in the end, it is your decision. Good luck with it.
2006-11-13 13:03:47 · answer #3 · answered by kat 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I personally think it's best for 2 people in love to create a child together. A child is a product of love and not an accessory. I am saying this because you are only 26. If you asked me the same question and you were still single at 33, I would say to do it if that's what you really want.
2006-11-13 13:34:19 · answer #4 · answered by KathyS 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I do not think so it becomes selfish when the individual(s) cannot pay for the child and you have to ask for assistance. Note: There is a difference when you and I planned on the child figured our bills and calculated we could afford it; then one or both of us get laid off. Asking for assistance then is different as if there is no where else to turn and you have to ask for assistance you should be able to do so. (Well, according to the Republicans you should be shot and your child put in the salt mines).
God Bless You and The Southern People.
2006-11-13 12:59:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you both willing to support this child and EACH OTHER in raising a baby? Financially, yes, but also emotionally? Have you both talked openly and honestly about this? As in, what would life be like if or when one of you goes into a long-time committed relationship or gets married? If so, go for it! I am a single Mom [by choice] of a wonderful 16-year-old daughter and I've never for a moment regretted that decision!
2006-11-13 12:58:06 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can relate -- I've wanted a child of my own for the past 3 years but never had anyone to have one with. Just as I was looking into sperm banks in my area, I met my fiance and we started TTC in Dec '05. We still don't have a child, but we are definatley trying and think I may be PG now.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
2006-11-13 17:28:43 · answer #7 · answered by ezza 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it's very selfish. And you arent living in reality thinking you and your male bestfriend can raise the child together in a happy home. there are so many things having a baby will change.
1. what if he decided one day he doesnt want the responsibility of the child because it's too much and decides to stop helping in anyway?
2. As much as you don't see it now- your life will change in 32432 different ways. Its not like you get pregnant and a cute baby magically fits into your lifestyle. You life completely changes to accomodate the baby. You probably wont want to go back to work... If you are sick and want to take a nap- you can't. If you do work and you work all day- your tired and sick or whatever and want to sleep- but too bad- you're up with a crying baby all night and you have to go to work the next day on .02 hours of sleep. You can just 'run' into the store or 'quick get gas'... it takes you an extra hour just to get ready to go anywhere... Also think about what happens when you do find a boyfriend. Your kid has been growing up with you and itself and all the sudden mommy is giving her attention to this other guy. Kids do not adjust easily in any way shape or form to that. Not to mention dating is a whole different ball game... you think it's hard finding a man now? Good luck finding one who wants to date a girl with kids... and then good luck finding one who wants a girl with kids... and who you like .. but one that doesnt think he can jump in and be your kids father the first second they meet- or one who doesnt get mad after a few months because he started out saying he loved kids and doesnt mind but then eventually he gets pissed beacuse the two of you never get alone time....
2006-11-13 12:58:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Bringing a child into an unstable relationship put together for the sake of convenience is never a good idea.
Wanting a child however, is never wrong.
Consider invetro and being a single mom, or even adoption. But splitting parental rights with someone you're not married to will only cause problems.
2006-11-13 12:49:19 · answer #9 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
No it would not be wrong. It sounds like a baby would have two loving parents that can afford to have him/her. A baby is a big responsibility but if you want a baby and can take care of it then do it.
2006-11-13 12:54:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋