How do I get the 18 yr old daughter understand NO sleepovers with friends.?

Question

My 18 yr old has one or two of her girlfriends regularly sleeping over... school nights, weekends. doesn't matter. I am tired of it. I would rather her friends went home. She doesn't respect my requests. Part of a larger problem no doubt. How do I get her to see my point of view, which is everybody - sleep in your own beds, eat at your own house and leave me my privacy please!

Answer 1

Your daughter is 18 and legally an adult; she lives with you at YOUR PERMISSION. She's spoiled and you've lived with it. If she respected you, she would abide by your wishes - now, she just ignores you.

If you don't like how your "roomate" is living, fix it:

1. Give your daughter a lease and have her sign it, even if the rent is $1/month. In the eyes of the law, you are now the landlord and your daughter is the tenant.

2. Keep a record of the dates/times that your daughter's friends sleep over against your wishes; when the lease expires, simply refuse to renew it and tell your daughter to move. She'll rant, she'll say you're betraying her, yadda yadda... The bottom line is that she's a poor tenant and is being evicted - those tactics won't work in the REAL WORLD.

3. If you want to TRY and stay on good terms with her, you can always just sell your house and move...tell your daughter that you do NOT intend to let her live with you at your new house - tell her "I've raised my kids and I intend to have some peace & quiet now."

Expect her to throw a tantrum. Stand your ground or she will walk on you for the rest of your life, using your love for her like a club. Expect her to say things like, "If you love me you wouldn't do this", or "If you kick me out I'll hate you", or "you'll regret it if you never see me again"...she's gotten used to abusing your hospitality and will resist your attempts to get your own life back - time to kick this rotten bird out of the nest.

Answer 2

I am young, but I do know the answer to this. You are her mother and you need to stop requesting and start demanding. Go directly to the parents of her friends and let them know that you do not approve of their children sleeping over your house on a constant basis. They probably are ok with it because they'e never heard of a complaint from you. You should also let the girls know that you simply don't want them there all the time. You should not be afraid to state your reasons for this. And lastly you really need to stand up to your daughter. Young people these days walk all over their parents because they let them You are a grown woman with a family to tend to and you need some kind of privacy here and there. If your daughter can't respect a simple request do you really think that she'll respect anything you'll have to say. More importantly you are allowing even her very friends to perform the same disrespect. A sure way to stop it immediately is to call the police. No, no arresting involved, but scare them a little. Next time they refuse to leave, have an officer escort them out. let's see if they'll ignore their requests. Good luck

Answer 3

It's your house. Lay down the law. At 18 she should either be working and on her own (I was) or in college AND working and maybe still at home but past the having friends over for sleep-over thing. Time for her to grow up..you take control of your own home and let her take control of her own life..on her own...

Answer 4

Kick her out of your house !
Than she can all the damn sleepovers she wants - at someone else's house.
I think you have forgotten who the parent is here.
This seems to be the norm with this generation of teens, as I see it all the time. That is no reason for you to have to open up your home if you don't want to. It's your house and your rules (you earned it) and if she can't get it through her head what that's all about than it's her problem - not yours !

Answer 5

Tell your daughter that she has to obey your rules or else get out on her own. Teenagers need social time but that can be on weekends. Just remember that you need to stand behind whatever decisions you make. If you start to get wishy washy she will be forever taking advantage of you. Its called tough love & it will be well worth it in the long run. Good Luck!

Answer 6

the problem is she know you will not say anything to them and you need to to have a talk with her not yelling and fighting. Wait tell she gets home by herself and tell her just what you do not want anymore if she does do it again you will tell them that they need to go and you will give them a ride back home. She does not want you to do this because it will embarrass her. you rule your house respect it or get out. I know it is easy for the other person to do but you know what I am saying.

Answer 7

i think of you may permit her swim with them or stop letting the doorstep daughter come over to apply the pool. it variety of feels asinine that the doorstep daughter can come over and have a sturdy time, collectively as 13 365 days previous has to take a seat down out. i will see how complicated which would be for a 13 365 days previous lady. If I have been you i could take a seat her down and have a verbal substitute together with her approximately what's and is not suitable or acceptable for a woman her age and start up letting her swim with them once you're residing house. Then perhaps paintings as much because it once you're actually not there. She is 13. not a youthful newborn. She is on the cusp of her teenage years and desires to start studying the thank you to enhance up slightly and cope with herself in a extra grownup worldwide. Very quickly she would be waiting to be a freshman in extreme college and he or she would be waiting to be around 17,18 or perhaps some 19 365 days previous boys every day. and there is probable lots extra unsupervised time for something undesirable to ensue collectively as in extreme college than at residing house on your pool. right away assuming that something undesirable is going to ensue to her is almost bigoted and for this reason sexist. you're being over shielding. i be attentive to the way you sense although, being sexually abused. i became into molested (by making use of my band director at school) and likewise raped some years in the past. yet you may not permit issues like that convince you that each and every physique adult males are of that comparable nature. by making use of disallowing your daughter to swim in the pool, that's in her very own residence (as she sees it), you're coaching her to be apprehensive of adult males and you're perpetuating a damaging stereotype. provide her a raffle to verify the thank you to socialise with older boys till now she is merely thrown into that concern in college. do not perpetuate damaging stereotypes that could desire to impact how she perspectives adult males for something of her existence. Its lots extra desirable than merely not letting her swim. it is all the connotations surrounding it.

Answer 8

Put your foot down. Call the other kids parents and tell them that it is not ok with you that they spend the night. It's your house and you shouldn't let your daughter get away with walking all over you.

Answer 9

Well one reason would be that they enjoy her company or they just don't have anything else to do. But you have to let her know that your her mother and you want to spend more quality time w/her. Her friends see her almost everyday. why don't they do the same thing and go home to their parents.

Answer 10

It's your house, you are the parent...act like one.

As long as she lives in your house, she has to follow your rules.

If she doesn't like them, then she needs to move out and financially support herself and then she can make her own rules.