her father is not so much in her life and i have sole custody of her. however, from birth she has her fathers last name. well now i am married to another man who has always been in her life, and she has two brothers from my husband. we all have the same name, but she has a different one.
i am wondering if i can just use our last name even if it isn't legally changed, or if i need to go through the process of trying to get it legally changed.
i don't want her to feel like the odd-ball because she isn't the same as the rest of us, and i don't want her to have to "defend" herself as to why her name is different than her brothers once they are all in the same school next year.
does anyone have any thoughts or experience on this?
2006-11-13 04:25:23 · 16 answers · asked by don't be rude. 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I would think you'd have to go through the process of getting it legally changed. My husband's Dad's side of the fam... he remarried a lady who had a daughter and they have a son together.... only the daughter has her real father's last name, and always has. But in your case, since you have sole custody, I'd try to go get her name legally changed if that's what you wish...
2006-11-13 04:29:25 · answer #1 · answered by m930 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you can send her to school with a different last name. They ask for birth certificates and so forth. I just dont know. I wanted to let you know though that I grew up with a different last name and to me it did not make any difference. Yes people ask questions, but my experience is that no one judged. I also did not feel as if my half brothers and sisters were anything but actual brothers and sisters. I love them the same. Also, this might also help I am now handicapped and I wasn't when I was a child. I have three children,my oldest being sixteen and kids have never made any rude comments or teased her. They were rather quite accepting which suprised me. I always expected them to make fun. I volunteered at the school and everyone of the kids was nice. (My handicap- I walk with braces and crutches) My reason for telling you this is kids are more accepting and resilent than we think. Good luck.
2006-11-13 04:34:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you can use an alies name, but you might want to get it legally changes anyway though. My husbands last name was different and the same situation arose. But this also made it hard to keep his school records under control for when he went to colledge. I would highly suggest changing her name legally, or just using her legal name. This will reduse alot of confusion in the future. I also went by many different last names, and am now finding it hard to gather all my school records togeather.
2006-11-13 04:30:40 · answer #3 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing. Unfortunately, the school will only use their legal last name. My oldest daughter's biological father was absent from her life from the time she was 6 months old. The only way that my husband could adopt her was if her biological father signed off legal rights (and the only way he could sign off legal rights is if someone was willing to adopt her), fortunately when she was 9 years old, her biological father did sign off rights and she was legally adopted by her step-father. It's called step-parent adoption. It took awhile because of all the paperwork and background checks. By the time she was 11 it was final and they were both very happy and all of us had the same last name. Hopefully, you will have this success. Best wishes.
2006-11-13 05:25:53 · answer #4 · answered by April L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to use her legal name. So what if her name is different. She can just tell anyone that asks that she has a different father then her half brothers. It's no big deal.
2006-11-13 05:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not legally you can't. You must enroll her with her legal last name. You can however ask the school to use your last name instead when refering to her in class. My niece used to live with us, we were going to adopt her and we asked that they use OUR last name and not hers and it was no problem. Just let them know you are going to legal change it at some point and that you want them to go ahead and use it now to help teach her what her name will be.
As for it being diffrent, I don't think she will have to defend herself anyway, kids don't care what your last name is.
2006-11-13 04:28:23 · answer #6 · answered by Lori R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think most schools now make you use the name on your birth certificate. You would have to have her name legally changed.
2006-11-13 07:11:55 · answer #7 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't "legally" enroll her in school with any other than her legal name. You might check into changing her name legally though. Good Luck!
2006-11-13 05:55:34 · answer #8 · answered by dmommab@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You bet! When you register her at school hyphenate her name on the paperwork. Put her unlegal name first and then a hyphen and her legal last name. I went through school with a hyphenated last name and everyone knew me and called me by my unlegal last name as it followed directly after my first name. My sister childrens will be in the same boat as yours when they are ready to start school and she will hyphenate their names as well.
2006-11-13 04:33:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would have to legally change her name schools have to use her legal name.
2006-11-13 04:31:13 · answer #10 · answered by DEBBY'S BABY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋