hi, im in a long distance relationship with my bf (please dont give me the LDRs never work out lecture, everyone is different and every couple is different) and we recently started getting sexual (having phone and cyber sex) around a month ago. In the beginning i was always super horny and would get turned on by anything sexual that he would say to me....but now that has kind of faded away and i am starting to get bored when we try to have cyber sex.....im starting to think that he is getting too routine and im starting to feel as if the passion is kinda fading away....i try to come up with creative ideas....but he isnt budging....how do i bring this up? maybe im not turning him on anymore like i used to? i dono....any suggestions?
2006-11-13 04:21:34 · 14 answers · asked by eliza M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Long-distance relationships can work because mine did. I met my husband online on an email list for scholars of literature. We've been married 8 years and are happy. And we, too, used to do the cyber/phone thing to connect through the distance. It helps some.
But I think what you're feeling is true: cyber and phone is nice, but only up to a point, and it's not the real thing. You're really interfacing with your computer, not a real person. There's no one there to touch, hug, kiss and hold you and make you feel good like only a human touch can. And you're missing that -- with good reason! Nothing is the same as your boyfriend just BEING THERE.
There are always new things you can try. You can read online erotica and get ideas. You definitely should tell him that it's getting routine and we need to spice it up a bit. And you should see him if at all possible, but I'm sure you know this already.
Another way to keep the real intimacy alive is to talk on the phone and email each other. I'm not talking about sexy, flirty letters but real correspondence and heart-to-heart communication. This is the real basis if intimacy. I think if you keep up the communication and letters, then your online sex life will improve and you'll both be happy.
Talk to him no matter what. And good luck -- it can be done, and my husband and I are living proof. :) I wish you the best.
Cheers, K
2006-11-13 04:27:21 · answer #1 · answered by Kate 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Eliza,
Cyber sex is OK for a while, but if sex is your thing it will become less satisfying as time goes asnd kill whatever are your feelings.. Suggest you desist until you can engage if that is still you wAnt to do.
If it is love it will feel like Linus' Blanket, make you all watm, fuzzy and satisfied.
There is a saying that is very introspective: sic "Do not have sex with anyone you do not to be father or mother to your child." OBjectively explore your options and make your choice. HE IS EITHER OR IS NOT.
2006-11-13 12:40:48 · answer #2 · answered by Larry Z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went with a guy who was transferred to another city, and we had a cyber relationship for a long time. Luckily we were both into lingerie, stockings,carter belts heels etc, so I would send him a pic of me dressed up, and would actually wear it at the time when he would call. Wit the aid of the pic and me talking dirty and bringing myself to orgasm we kept it going for a long while, until I found a local guy who loved doing the same thing for real at my place.
2006-11-14 18:40:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal for the newness to wear off in a relationship... And since it is only words and not physical activity it just wore off quicker. Plus men are more likely to be able to continue in fantasy. Women are much more emotional and need more to be turned on.... Just think about the physical and emotional differences between male and female orgasm.... I think within that thought you would find your answer.
2006-11-13 12:26:35 · answer #4 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone falls out of the "honeymoon" phase sooner or later. you're in a special situation because of the lack of physical contact. what does your intuition tell you? maybe he found someone? maybe he really wants to see you other than through the computer or phone? how long distance is your long distance relationship? you have to look at this in a realistic point of view. everyone yearns for personal contact, at least everyone i know. i hope it works out. good luck!
2006-11-13 12:27:13 · answer #5 · answered by WreckinShop 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to have sex is to be physically present with your body. It may then be oral or the insertion or both. This is a natural phenomenon.
2006-11-13 12:26:41 · answer #6 · answered by mykemejeje 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since its cyber and phone, you are obviously limited... and it would be difficult to keep the "fire" going when you don't get to actually touch.
2006-11-13 12:24:46 · answer #7 · answered by jwb674 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you need to plan a trip to where he lives so you can have sex in person and see if that makes a difference.
2006-11-13 12:24:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
plan next time your actually going to be together, really be graphic as to what your going to do to each other when the time comes.
2006-11-13 14:04:30 · answer #9 · answered by redneckgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is only so much you can do online. Have you tried cam2cam? It's alot of fun.
2006-11-13 13:07:36 · answer #10 · answered by bad_bob_69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋