my dads and his gf have been together for years. i hate her. shes mean, sneaky, spiteful, shes hurt my feelings many times, dissed my mother, hit on my girlfriend, tells lies about me. shes a *****. i want my dad at my wedding but is it wrong for me to not invite her? i dont want her near my mom or poisining the minds of my friends and moms side of the family or my fiancee. she will cause some sort of drama on that day for sure.....what do i do?
2006-11-13 04:05:07 · 17 answers · asked by Michelle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I understand your dilemma. I'm sorry.
Please understand if you don't invite her, your father may choose not to come.
If you do invite her, her rude behavior will not reflect badly on you, but on her.
You can take the high road here and invite her, and you will never feel guilty, be blamed for being rude, etc.- and it will probably mean a great deal to your dad. Good luck!
2006-11-13 04:14:11 · answer #1 · answered by Clarkie 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
as this "lady" is your dad's LONG TERM partner then it is polite to invite her regardless of your feelings. however if they had only been together a short while then that would be different.
as some others have said - talk to them beforehand & state quite clearly the behaviour you expect on the day. Put the onus on your father to ensure that this happens & also speak to other family members asking them to monitor her actions & ask her to leave if necessary.
it is possible to keep her away from your mother.
do make sure that your mother knows she has been invited
have ONLY the weddiong party sitting at the bridal table - with your parents sitting on opposite sides of the room
taking into account that this 'lady' has been with your father for some time then the rest of the family should be aware of her personality & know to ignore her behaviour
2006-11-15 22:07:28 · answer #2 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it's YOUR wedding. If you feel that strong about her then you don't have to invite her. It's your day!
However, you don't want to drive a wedge between you and your father so you really need to discuss all this with him first. Maybe he will decide not to go without her or maybe he will tell her he's going to your wedding alone. Personally the wishes of my daughter on her special day would take priority over those of my girlfriend. Remember this situation will be as stressful for him as it is for you so try to respect whatever decision he makes.
Congrats!
2006-11-13 12:19:11 · answer #3 · answered by Tom G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm hard one.
How hurt would your dad be if you did not invite her? You don't HAVE to invite her because it's your wedding, but maybe you could take your dad out for a meal or coffee and explain the problem.
Don't say you are NOT going to invite her but tell him how having her there makes you feel. If he gets angry explain to him that you love him, want him there, respect him, but that having his girlfriend at the wedding poses some questionable problems. You could ask him to speak with his girlfriend and ask her to lay low or somthing, Or ask him if he insists on her being there.
2006-11-13 12:27:14 · answer #4 · answered by Katie Beth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding. You can invite (or not invite) whoever you want. Does your dad know the way you feel about her? I completely understand that you wouldn't want her drama on your special day. Maybe, if it is really important to your dad you could invite her, but have some one "assigned" to her to make sure she doesn't cause any trouble.
2006-11-13 12:12:56 · answer #5 · answered by jennifer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a talk with both of them. Explain that you expect her to behave with respect and dignity at your wedding. Be very specific about which behaviors are not allowed: sarcasm, insulting, manipulation, rudeness, gossiping, drawing unnecessary attention to herself....
If she acts like a child and says, "I just won't go", calmly respond, "I think that would be best."
If she tries to insist that your father cannot go, respond by saying, "This wedding has nothing to do with you. I am getting married and my father will be there. If you also attend and act inappropriately, then you will be escorted out."
Don't get caught up in an argument. Simply tell them how it is and then end the conversation. You don't have to sit and listen to their side or their input. And, you don't have to compromise.
2006-11-13 12:26:47 · answer #6 · answered by limendoz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, tough one. Does your dad know how you feel about her? You do not have to invite her. You can send an invite to your dad that is just for your dad and does not include a "guest." I am thinking, based on what you said here, that keeping her off the guestlist might be best for everyone involved.
2006-11-13 13:53:11 · answer #7 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very difficult decision. If you don't invite her, she will be upset and it could hurt your relations with her and your dad. Your dad might not show up if you don't invite her.
On the other hand, if you do invite her, she might cause the drama you speak of and ruin your wedding.
It is a double-edged sword decision, so I guess what you have to ask yourself is which would you rather deal with?
2006-11-13 12:14:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't invite her...You dad will still come right? Or is she one of those types that will throw a hissy fit and demand for him not to go? You know what, either way, don't invite her and make sure that she knows she is not invited so she doesn't show up anyway.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!
Maybe your dad can send her away to a spa or something on that day!
2006-11-13 15:23:37 · answer #9 · answered by redbeansandrice 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course not u want to remember u wedding day with good memories not bad right
if she is so much of a trouble dont call her and make ur dad undersdtand that y are u doing it.
of course u dont want her to steal the show on ur big day
2006-11-13 12:11:11 · answer #10 · answered by simran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋