how do uyou cope with a teenagers messy bedroom and not go balistic?

Answer 1

Well your teenager sees your act as an invasion of privacy. Which it is. You get annoyed because you have to clear it up (which you don't actaully). So don't go in there. And refuse to do any washing and ironing until the room is tidier.

Every now and then, you could go in and throw things away which you thought were (ahem) rubbish, but that's a bit extreme, and you can't guarantee the same wouldn't happen to your stuff.

So, there we go. Close door, breathe sigh of relief, and don't set foot in there again. Give it a couple of weeks before said teenager is trying to work out how a washing machine works, and why all their clothes have come out of it pink / grey.

Hehehehehehe

Good luck. And remember. You.Don't.Care.

Answer 2

What i did on the tenth time of asking, I got a roll of black bin liners went upstairs piled as much as possible in to four bags hoovered the floor cleaned and dusted then put bin bags in the bin outside. After about 4 hours I let them go a retrieve one bag at a time and sort it out outside in the cold before they could take anything of use back to there room. (things i took were PlayStation 2 and games, MP3, Computer keyboard anything on the floor) I have only had to do this once and they clean up every time i ask now.

A bit extreme i know but it worked.

Answer 3

Take a deep breathe and look at the big picture...In the great scheme of things, does a messy bedroom even matter? If you have an otherwise good kid, I say dont sweat the small stuff! Just tell him the basics like...no dishes, uneaten food, etc. is allowed...

Answer 4

As someone who is a single parent with three teenagers, my take is that they should take responsibility for their own rooms, BUT the public spaces in the house are not for them to dump stuff. Any stuff found thereat the end of the day is put in a binbag (within reason) and dumped at the end of the week if not reclaimed. But as far as their rooms are concerned, let it be.

Answer 5

Let youre front room be messy when his freinds are around and dont cook anyfood. MUM IS ON STRIKE. That should get the message through to the little blighter. Alternatively threaten adoption

Answer 6

I have several suggestions.
As you probably know, and others have posted, there isn't much to do with the situation. When I was a kid, I knew one mum who put up the sign on her son's door: Jason's dust bin and Garbage heap.
She stopped going in to get his soiled clothes, collect dirty dishes, etc. With door closed the place began to reek, none of his friends wanted to go near it (bad for 14-15 year old boys indeed!). He complained to his mum. Her response: She hadn't noticed, but if it was that bad, HE not she might want to do something about it.
Yet another mum (a teacher no less!) began to put bags of kitchen scraps in her son's room. Sealed up they still stank her son's room to high heaven. She told him that if he wanted to live in a bin, she had no desire to stand in his way, and was only happy to contribute.
A sense of humour really helps. That, and ultimately consider dorm rooms, and how bad they can get at Uni. Even now at graduate level and in a house, I am on my own without mum or any significant female to keep me in line. Though the place is far from perfect, I have learned that if I want it clean, I have to make myself do it.
Oh yes, I have had a couple of girls in the past that helped a lot. Said one: F**ck that closet up and I will kick your A**s. Maturity will hopefully help, but for now here is an idea. Post this notice on his door:
WARNING: This Room is a HAZARDOUS waste DUMP by desire of the occupant:
Clutter may fall and crush you.
Underwear and trainers may gas you
Debris on the floor my trip you
But most importantly:
If you are crushed, gassed, or tripped, no emergency rescue people will come to assist.
They are not paid to deal with severe hazardous conditions.

The alternative: Each day, go in, take one or two prized posessions as a fine. Tell him he will get nothing back until the place is cleaned to your satisfaction. Hide them well!
My mum was far more direct. She would simply say "if you want it, get it up." Having a few prize posessions permanently in a bin somewhere, and knowing they will not return EVER did it for me.
Threaten to shave his head in his sleep...
Worse.. tell him you will take photos and post on line, and ask the people at his school to put up large blow ups of the photos. Maybe with the caption: Girls would you really want to date my son? His name is....
All I can say is if you hit him where it hurts, you will probably get results. I would throw away things permanently only as a last resort.

Answer 7

you remember that just about all teens go through this and you just close the door.there will be some days when you will say clean that pig pen up but pick and choose your arguments with the kids and just close the door most of the time,that bedroom is not a reflection of you,it's what teens do or don't do.

Answer 8

Take some photos and tell then you'll post them on the net if they don't sort it out.
There's a site just for this very thing, all about messy teens bedroms.

Answer 9

There is a very simple answer to your question..
DON'T GO IN THERE, ..
leave things as they are, just insist that they bring out their washing, and any cups plates drinking glasses. you ll save yourself an awful lot of frustration and anxiety..

Answer 10

you were young once..we all had messy room and dodgy taste in music at one point haha..dont go ballistic, give her a reason to tidy her room..pocket money/credit on her phone each month/a trip out to lunch or something...keep calm!!!!