Going out for 4 months, I've fallen in love with him, BUT do i tell him first or wait for him?

Question

I think he feels the same why I do, we have told each other how we feel, but never mentioned the big "L".
Do I wait for him, or just tell him? It’s killing me; I want him to know how much I really do care for him. BUT I don’t want him to feel he has to say it back. We have both been hurt in our last relationship - his last year, and mine early this year. We are both over it, but still scared of getting hurt!!!!
We spend every night together, and when we do spend the odd night apart, we are always txting each other till the early hours of the morning.
HELP

Answer 1

ok... i dont know you or your man, so i can only tell you what i do know. i have been with my man. i met him online and we became friends. after 1 month of chatting, he left to South America for a month. when he got back , we met up and started our relationship that same day. after 2 weeks, i knew that i loved him. but i held it in, and didnt say anything. 3weeks... i thought that he felt the same and we were doing as you are- telling each other how we felt about each other and all that jazz... anyway, after the fourth week had past, i was lying in his arms morning after valentines day, and i was thinking how wonderful everything was and how much i love him.. and i couldnt not tell him any more. so i told him. and he just smiled. he said thank you and that he just needed a little time to decide how he feels, but that the fact that i told him that i love him wont scare him away. anyway... 3days later, i get home and he is in my bed (he lives an hour and a half away, so that was a big deal) and he had a single red rose. he told me that he loved me and that he doesnt want to lose me. Its been 10 months now and i have no intention f leaving this man. he feels the same. We told each other a month into the relationship and everything was fine. My point, after that rather long winded saga, is that, if you are meant for each other, then telling him, should be the least of your worries and you should be secure in your relationship enough to have the confidence to tell him. dont wait for him to tell you first. chances are that he is confused and trying to sort his head out too. men arent complicated creatures. just silly ones. lol. if you love him, tell him. everything will be fine hun. trust in yourself and your relationship.
Dont wait on men. lol. You're a woman. Be a strong one.
goodluck to you hun
xxx

Answer 2

If I were you I would ask myself "Why do I have this big need to tell him that I love him? Why is it 'killing me' that I want to say but don't feel able to say these three little words?" The saying goes that "actions speak louder than words" and "talk is cheap", which I translate as meaning it's not what you say to each other in a relationship that indicates how much you love each other but what you do for each other, the little or big acts of loving kindness. 4 months is still a pretty new relationship ... if you are serious about this guy and thinking about a long-term future with him, I would suggest focusing on what you do together, on the loving things you do for each other, how you make each other feel when you are together and all else will follow naturally. If it feels right to say 'I love you' say it, if it doesn't don't. Perhaps you could also focus on developing your own inner confidence so that you could say 'I love you' and have it not matter if it wasn't said back to you straight away.

Answer 3

Telling him too early could scare him off, many guys have a commitment phobia especially after such a short time.

Get someone else to sound him out, ask how he feels about you in a casual way and then make your decision to tell or not.

At least that way you don't make a fool of yourself and stay together long enough to give love a chance. (Aaaahhhhhhhh)

Answer 4

Wow.. I think we all find ourselves in this situation at one point or another.... I recently (finally) got past that hump... I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now and after 3 I was pretty sure I loved him, at about 4 months, I knew it and began having urges, like yours, to tell him.. but my worries were the same as yours. I never hesitated to let him know I cared for him, but to actually spill the "L" word, as much as it wanted to slide off my tongue.. I held it in and waited for him to tell me.. FINALLY, on my birthday last month.. He initiated it... personally, i think it may be better to wait, because you don;t want to hear it insincerely or feel you forced it... but at the same time.. it is a very strong emotion that's hard to hold in, and one that is beautiful to share.. My advice.. hold out a little longer, if he still doesn;t say it and your are bursting to tell him.. go ahead.. at one point or another you are going to have to find out he feels if he won't helphimself to tell you... Good luck!

Answer 5

I think you should go ahead and tell him how you feel. If you love him, you should just tell him. He may be feeling the same way, but he's afraid of getting hurt again. My advice is that you guys take things slow, so that neither of you ends up getting hurt again. But in taking things slow, don't forget to share your feelings openly and honestly in hopes of building a beautiful relationship. Good luck...

Answer 6

As long as you do it in a carefree, dropped into conversation type of way. Dont make a big issue of it and dont be overly disappointed if he doesnt say it back straight away. If he does feel the same way he'll say it back when hes ready

Answer 7

I would say keeping your feelings to yourself could hurt you in the long run. This day and age a woman can say I love you first

Answer 8

Don't make a big deal of it,just next time he does something lovable,smile and say,'I love you.' and give him a kiss. Don't expect a reply straight away,as he may be surprised at first-but if he loves you,he'll let you know.

Answer 9

tell him
theres nothing worse then thinking it and not saying how you feel as he might feel the same
men usually wait for the girl to say it first as they dont want to b rejected so just tell him how u feel and see how it goes from there

Answer 10

I would tell him. But casually. Next time he does something or says something nice, just say "awww, I love you" and see what happens from there. Trust me, as a bloke, I know, no guy is ever going to say it first!