I went on a few dates with this guy and it didn't work out and when he asked me why I told him it was because he wasn't mature enough and he got angry and stormed off. I thought that it wasn't a good way to handle it on his part but what do you guys think. Should I have been less stright forward or what? I just don't see skirting around the issue as a good way to let someone know something. I said it in as kind of a way that I could...
2006-11-13 03:47:31 · 17 answers · asked by kalynn h 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Baaad choice!
Not being straight forward but giving an immature guy a mature answer. Obviously he didn't know how to handle it. Besides, there's very few people that think of themselves as immature and even less people that would think that's a good thing... so in a way it was a blow to his ego.
Being straight forward doesn't necessarily mean you should be blunt or mean spirited (not that you were mean). Also being vague doesn't exactly make a good impression. If you had said something more specific (for example, I don't like the way you do this, and that, etc), it shows you put more thought into things and you are not just blowing him off.
However you could go through all the trouble of sugar-coating, explaining, being nice, being honest, etc... and any guy at any given time could still react the same way. That part you can't change and you have to learn to accept it. The most important thing is you feel comfortable with yourself knowing you did the right thing.
2006-11-13 03:49:51 · answer #1 · answered by crazy_monkey_jr010 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He isn't mature enough to handle his part of the relationship. He has some growing up to do. In time he can (and may) but only if he knows what he needs to work on, so I think a straight answer is best from you. You have done him a great service whether he is willing to admit it or not.
2006-11-13 11:51:22 · answer #2 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People want you to be honest and genuine but you have to consider people's feelings. Its not what you do, its how you do it. You could've asked him a couple of serious questions just to see if there was hidden intellegence, but if he was clearly stupid, you could've said something like I don't think we have similar views, or anything in common so its best that we leave it alone because I can see that its not going to work out- he would have to think on how his actions affect how he is perceived
2006-11-13 11:55:53 · answer #3 · answered by dcbossygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys like girls who say what's on their minds and set boundaries for them. They don't like girls who waffle and agree with everything they say. This guy was WAY overreacting. You only went on a few dates — what did he expect? Obviously he wasn't the right guy for you, so good for you for telling him so. He really proved your point about immaturity by storming off.
2006-11-13 12:15:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
" I told him it was because he wasn't mature enough and he got angry and stormed off."
LOL He proved your point though didn't he?
Straight forward everytime.
2006-11-13 11:52:22 · answer #5 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being straight forward is always the best instead of letting them down easy. Men can take it if they can't then they aren't men
2006-11-13 11:52:49 · answer #6 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Naw, lay it on the line. Just remember their "quirks" that you can't get over like being imature, could be in actuality "your quirks", or you simply don't match. I recommend being straight, but not rude. instead of "your imature" (which means your looking down at them and you look bad" say " our personalites just don't match and I feel we are on different levels of maturity"
2006-11-13 11:53:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like my gurls to be daring, straighforward and sincere. I think you've done the right thing. I doubt if that guy is matured already. Contact me through my profile if you want further discussion. cya soonest.
2006-11-13 11:52:39 · answer #8 · answered by mykemejeje 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be straight, you will get respect for the mature guys that way.
2006-11-13 11:49:19 · answer #9 · answered by Saints friend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like a girl to be straight forward but i think because i am forward so i am used to that but i think that you were not wrong
2006-11-13 11:54:21 · answer #10 · answered by il kindome di cielo₪ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋