About the whole "anyone who looks upon someone else with lust has committed adultery in his heart" thing

Question

I have had several people tell me this. My question is this: Define lust. Surely it can't be looking upon someone else with a desire of the flesh. If it is, pretty much anyone who has ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend or gotten married has committed this.

jworks: Actually, I have found Jesus. But thanks for your concern, though. And I agree that we all make mistakes, but how exactly is looking upon another person with a desire of the flesh a sin? If we never did that, none of us would ever find significant others.

elibw: Like I have to others, I pose this question: If we are not to dwell on the desires, then how are we supposed to find a compatible significant other?

I'm not saying that physical attraction is the ONLY thing that makes a good relation. Despite my inexperience, I have learned this much. But physical attraction is usually the FIRST thing that makes you want to get to know someone better, and it IS an important part of a relationship, though certainly not the ONLY thing. Any family therapist, etc. will tell you that if a couple does not feel attracted to each other in one way or another, the relationship will probably be rocky.

Now, I know what you're thinking: Well yeah, but that's within the marriage! That's where it's supposed to be. Okay, but doesn't it have to start somewhere? Are you saying that if I meet a woman that I like, I am sinning if I feel a sexual attraction to her before slipping a ring on her finger? If so, then that's nonsense. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound blasphemous, but it is.

Answer 1

Wow! I can't believe how delusional some of these answers are. I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I think some of you need to stop and think about what you are saying.

Lust, if defined as sexual attraction, is NOT a sin. I don't care what any pastors have told you. If it is, then we are all doomed to Hell---and not just because we are imperfect and sin, but because there isn't much of a way around that.

Like it has been said before, physical attraction is an important part of a relationship, and it is also one of the FIRST parts of a relationship. When you first meet a potential significant other, your first desires are usually of the flesh. Now, if the desires never go any deeper than this, then the relationship is doomed. But it is an important aspect, and it is usually a first aspect. And there is nothing wrong with that, either. And to those of you who say that sexual desires are fine, but only in a marriage: Come on, do you really think people can just turn off their physical desires until they slip a ring on someone's finger? For crying out loud, let's use some common sense and logic here!

Answer 2

You just answered your own question. Lust is wrong, period! The thing about it is this. Lust is a flesh thing and solely that. That is why it is wrong. Common sense, more than anything, should tell you that attraction is NOT about the flesh. If you are engaged in a relationship with someone and you look at someone else with thoughts that are meant to be restricted to your signifigant other then you totally illegitimize your relationship with that person and deface it and him/her of their true value in your life. it is adultry because you are sharing that part of you with someone else when it is meant for the person you share your life with. That person toward whom those thoughts were/are directed is valueless as a part of your life. Thoughts of a woman you see on the street that you will never see again or on a bilboard and whom you will never meet. There is no value in this. The value in such things comes from where they are directed and can only come from placing them toward the person you share your life with.
Having said that, it is true, most likely every human being is guilty of this. we are, after all, human! That is not really the point. The point is that we know it is wrong, understand that by human flaw we will do it anyway, and knowing that God does not expect us to be imperfect and to get it right 24/7/365 IS the point. It is also the point that Jesus gave his life so that despite our flaws and our nature we will still be accepted into Heaven and be forgiven. THAT IS THE POINT!

Someone answered with a statement that adultry is when someone is committed to another through marriage. NOT TRUE! It is when someone is committed to another in their heart. You do not have to be married to love someone nor feel committed to someone. Adultry is a breeching of that committment whether you are legally married or not! A piece of paper is NOT needed and so does not alter the committment in your heart. If that committment was not already in place, the marriage would not happen anyway. That statement is just plain nieve and ridiculous!

Answer 3

Lust is deriving sexual pleasure from looking or thinking about someone. It's normal to be attracted to the opposite gender, the problem is when you "use" that person as a part of a mental fantasy . It's one thing to notice someone and appreciate the fact they are attractive, it's another to dwell on it or stare.

A wise man once said; "You can't stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can keep it from building a nest in your hair." Holding onto thoughts and images for use in a fantasy is what nesting is. When you have a lustful thought, recognize it for what it is and try and focus on something else. Getting to know the person can help, as they have flaws and problems just like everyone else. Saying a prayer for that person can bring you back to an appropriate frame of mind. It's also good to memorize scriptures that you can recall when you feel tempted. It can be tough at first, but as you begin to train your mind, it will be easier and easier to recognize the thoughts and deal with them before you start to fantasize.

Answer 4

The Bible says we all sin. The Law. That is why we need Grace...Jesus. Now, what goes into the body is not bad it is what comes out of the body that can be bad. We have desires and drives. Keeping them under control and appropriate is important. To many give in and base relationships on sex and lust alone...look at the divorce rate (I speak from a marriage counselors perspective here). Many who come through my office in trouble felt they were in love because they had great sex. Sex is a big part of a good marriage, but is not the foundation to build a marriage on. If everything else in a marriage is together and strong, then sex is beautiful....if not people go looking.....it took me many many years to learn this....

Lust is different that Love.....Lust is about you only as your think it, feel it and act on it....sex based on lust is not about the other person at all but about your own satisfaction...Love is about the other person totally and completely. They are what is most important...some never get past the lust part of the sexual drive.

Answer 5

Because if you are trying to find a compatible mate by looking at the desire of the flesh first, you're doing it wrong. You should find someone who dresses modestly who has a good personality and who has faith in God FIRST. And you are right, anyone who has ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend (with whom they've had sex) has committed this sin. Even those who have retained their virginity while having a boyfriend or girlfriend are tempted by the lust of the flesh. Paul says, "Better to marry than to burn." By this he may not necessarily mean burning in Hell, but rather burning with passion or fleshly lust.
You are permitted to "lust" after your husband or wife, but no one outside of the marriage. If you do commit this sin, ask God to forgive it, and He will.

Answer 6

Lust is any intense desire or craving, usually sexual, although it is also common to speak of a "lust for life", "lust for blood (bloodlust for short)", or a "lust for power" or other goals.

As a sexual term, lust implies a sexual desire in and of itself, an erotic arousal and wish, or intense physical or sexual attraction or craving. In this sense, it is considered a sin by some Christian sects in regard to someone not one's spouse, and is listed as one of the seven deadly sins of Catholicism and its related denominations. Kama, a concept in Hinduism often translated as lust, is similarly included as one of the Five Evils. The Greek word which translates as lust is επιθυμια (epithumia), which also is translated as covet.

Answer 7

I define lust as selfish desire. You can look at a person sexually, I think, by this I mean you are seeing not just their body, but their person meshed with it. This may seem weird, but when you look at your spouse, you may not just seeing their physical appearance, you're seeing the person combined with their physical appearance. I define that as looking at the person sexually. When a man looks at his wife sexually, it isn't just about pleasing himself (that would be lust), it's about bonding with her and pleasing her. It's about bringing himself closer to her through sex. This happens bc God designed sex to be a bonding thing, to connect the ppl engaging in it on a spiritual level. This is good in marriage, but disastrous outside of it, bc then those bonds are broken which causes a lot of pain.

Answer 8

Lust –noun 1. intense sexual desire or appetite.
2. uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.
3. a passionate or overmastering desire or craving (usually fol. by for): a lust for power.
4. ardent enthusiasm; zest; relish: an enviable lust for life.
5. Obsolete. a. pleasure or delight.
b. desire; inclination; wish.

–verb (used without object) 6. to have intense sexual desire.
7. to have a yearning or desire; have a strong or excessive craving (often fol. by for or after).

Answer 9

Sexual Lust is the desire to possess for the sake of one's satisfaction. Sexual Love is the desire to give oneself to one's beloved for the sake of that other person. This love is sacrificial and especially sanctified in Christian marriage, which is iconic of Christ's love for His Church.

Answer 10

U r right...sometime this lust is just attraction...or may be sometime u r broken...or frustrated and someone take advantage of ure frustration and will make you to commit adultery by brain washing and with lust