Me and my male friend have had occasional sexual encounters in the past. He knows I like him more than a friend and he won't go out with me which I accept.
So my question is has anyone else been in a similar situation and did you or did you not remained friends with the other person after what happened. Did anything good or bad happen between you both?
2006-11-13 02:41:38 · 29 answers · asked by rainbow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As a woman, I cannot have casual sex. I'm just not wired that way. I've finally learned that men really are different than women and it's easier for them to have a sexual encounter with no strings attached. Unfortunately, when men get the milk for free, sometimes they don't want to buy the cow.
2006-11-13 02:45:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you like him more than just a friend and he doesn't feel the same way about you then the worst thing you can do is have sexual encounters. There is too much emotional attachment on your part which means you are very likely to get hurt.
Friendly flings can work but not if there are any serious feelings on one party's part (esp if that person is the female). Even among friends they can make things a bit weird for a while, unless the friendship is so good and true that it transcends everything else.
2006-11-13 02:59:12 · answer #2 · answered by teary chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the exact same situation, I'm just a couple of years on from you. We're still very good friends but I just realised a couple of days ago, when he announced that he's moving to Canada with his fiancee, that I still actually have feelings for him.
When things first happened and he told me he wasn't interested I thought I was fine with it. When I eventually realised I wasn't we decided not to see each other at all for a while. We didn't talk for a couple of months and then a mutual friend came to visit and for her sake we started hanging around together again and became friends again, which was incredibly easy to fall back into.
Truth is though that a part of me never let go and I have been hoping that somehow, from new girlfriend to them living together to the proposal, that maybe there was hope. I didn't even realise that I'd been hanging on in there despite the fact that I haven't been out with anyone since.
Whatever the case, if you have feelings for him and he doesn't feel the same, you need space and time away from him. You can't truly be his friend when you're always hoping for more and you can't move on either. I thought I could and it has been very hard at times. It really isn't worth it. If he is a really good friend he'll understand and when you are ready to be friends again he will be there but don't rush it.
Pay attention to your feelings and don't lie to yourself. You already know whether you can or can't stay friends. Trust what your heart feels and hope that your head knows what to do with it.
Good luck honey
2006-11-13 03:20:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest you ask yourself, and try to answer honestly, whether you are always going to be able to accept that you and he are never going to be more than just friends. Also, are you really his 'friend', or is the only thing underpinning the friendship your secret hope that one day he will turn around and decide that he wants to be with you as a lover? In my (recent) experience, over time it becomes very painful to be constantly wishing for more than the other person is emotionally able or willing to give. I'd suggest you stop having these occasional sexual encounters and see if there really is a friendship underneath once that's not on the agenda. If it is, great, nurture that and you'll find someone else to satisfy your sexual and relationship needs. If it's not, hard as it may be you should gently end the 'friendship'; this will be hard but will spare you more pain in the long term...
2006-11-13 02:49:22 · answer #4 · answered by HRW 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Indeed I have! We had numerous nights together over the span of 3 years.. If it weren't for me being in a committed relationship, i would still be turning to him for my satisfaction or on my lonely nights. We have always had a friendship beyond the physical aspect and we are still good AND real friends.. We never let the physical get in the way of our friendship because we knew from the beginning that we aren't right to be together.. In fact, there has never even been the desire to take it to another level.... even now that we don't have our physical time together, we remain cool and talk on a fairly regular basis and he'll always be a true friend to my heart..
2006-11-13 04:18:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my best friend went out. After we broke up he and I hooked-up one last time and this did not affect us at all. We still have the same relationship if not better. He is still my best friend and will continue to be forever. Now this can only happen if the bond is so strong that you are able to get past this and be able to look back and laugh at the fun times you shared. He and I can do this and its great cause I really would have hated to lose him over this. It might be weird for a little bit but if the friendship love is truly there than things will work out!
2006-11-13 02:58:24 · answer #6 · answered by M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to sound like a killjoy but i have had a similar experience with a female friend and we did eventually start dating and seeing each other but it just never worked as we were friends and thats all we really could ever be, due to us both trying to make a go of it, it ended in tears and we no longer really see or speak to each other, sorry to have to tell u that and i hope urs works out much better
2006-11-13 02:44:21 · answer #7 · answered by Dermo26 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you actually have to do anything? I mean what is it you really want from them? if it is a relationship and they can't give it to you then you are playing a game you are going to lose, either you speak to them and tell them what you want see if they feel the same, continue with things the way they are, or walk away. At the end of the day you cannot force someone to have a relationship with you, but my concern would be that if they only want a casual thing then who else are they being casual with, the only reason someone does not want to commit is because of an alteria motive........
2006-11-13 02:48:50 · answer #8 · answered by Girl of Spirit 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get married soon before things become worse for you. Most teenagers suffer due to lack of control for sex and lose everything at the end. Life is not a real bed of roses. Times flies by and you have none besides you to take care when you grow older. Think and act fast. A good friendly advice!
2006-11-13 02:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by ab 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It ends it tears every time! Speaking from a experience the relationship changes to much after you've done the bunny love thing. You kind of lose the incentive to be friends.Whats the point?
2006-11-13 03:12:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋