My husband has a lg collection of toys (bedrm wall to wall packed) His mother let this happen in her house. Dating I said I would end the relationship due to immaturity of living at home buying toys instead of saving money for the future. He stopped buying and advised me he would get ride it. We are now married and he never got rid of the stuff however I am not letting it move in with me. His mother didn't want it and passed the toys to another family member without husbands consent. The people are alluding to the fact he should take it. If these people didn't want it then they should have not accepted it only to harass my husband or send it back to where it came from. It’s causing a rift with me and his family because I feel they think I should give live with it. His mother let this happen in her home she can deal with it with my husband. Just because I married him doesn’t mean I will let what she aloud to happen in my home.
2006-11-13 02:40:46 · 14 answers · asked by Violet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes it's his home too! However before getting married it was a topic of conversation that was resolved with the fact that it would not come to live with us.I have no issue about him having a few items that are important to him. However I do think that if there is a toy room it will be for my children and not my husband. He says he was going to sell the items but never has. If the stuff comes here I know it will never be dealt with and the situation of living with this stuff was not one that I ever agreed to.
This isn't just a few toys this is thousands of dollars worth of stuff that is wall to wall jam packed that you can not move.
2006-11-13 03:01:59 · update #1
The other point I would like to mention is that he himself does want to get rid of it. These are not toys that children are to play with they are toys that are all in their packaging. That he collected and stored in boxes and boxes.
2006-11-13 03:06:23 · update #2
Toys are very collectible, post all the stuff on Ebay and get some money to put away for your lives. Just take it and store it for a bit while you unload it and fill a nice little savings account.
2006-11-13 02:44:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off your husband sounds very immature. Why does he need to collect toys? And what does he plan to do with them???
You had every right to step up and let him know how you feel. If you did not your situation would have been worse!
It seems like his mother has a controlling issue and he is in the cross fire because he does not want to stand up to her.
What you should do is tell him to never do this again. And keep standing up to him when you truly know that something is not right.
Encourage yes encourage your husband because you may be the only one that can help him. His mother does not want to do this all she wants to do is control him because he has always allowed her to do so.
God Bless and I hope things will get better for you.
2006-11-13 10:49:41 · answer #2 · answered by ye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate, no one wants wall to wall junk, but just think, this stuff isn't junk to your husband. He has been buying and saving this stuff because it is important to him. As a comfort to you, some toys become quite valuable as collectibles. Things you would never think over the years become priceless, do. Your mother in law feels, probally, that these things are her sons, and he should be responsible for the care and storage of them. I guess it's a grow-up lesson. I think that she should not have given your husbands things away without his permission. But it is up to him to retrieve them if he wants them, don't let this bother you at all, it's now on your husband. If he does wind up retrieving the toys, just think, if you have kids someday, how much the children will enjoy playing and sharing with your husband things that have a history to him. God Bless, Martha S.
2006-11-13 10:52:02 · answer #3 · answered by Martha S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, is he your husband or your child? Give the guy a break. If he enjoys toy collecting and you can still afford the rent, let him have his fun. It's not like he's the only grown up who collects action figures and the like -- hell, there's magazines & conventions for it.
But he is a big boy now, married and everything. So if mom doesn't want it in her house anymore, he should do the responsible thing and move it all to his own home.
If you keep trying to control him like this, telling him how he can and cannot have fun, you're just going to push him away.
2006-11-13 10:47:31 · answer #4 · answered by watsonc64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let him store his stuff in the attic. One day the stuff may be worth something. And if it isn't then maybe if you have kids they will enjoy these toys. Stick to your guns and don't let him buy anymore but let him have his things.
What if there was something that you collected and he refused to let you keep them and refused to let you continue to collect them. Put yourself in his place. I am sure his mom thinks you are running her son into the ground by not letting him be who he is.
You shouldn't marry someone if you really just want to change who they are and what they like to suit your needs and if that's the case then it may not just be a family feud thing between you and the inlaws. Imagine what he says about you when you aren't there to defend yourself.
2006-11-13 10:58:16 · answer #5 · answered by Jamie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right, this problem should be worked out between your husband and you and then his mother. She should not be running her mouth to the other family members. Just get all of the stuff and have a yard sale. That way everyone is happy and you two have some extra cash to go out to dinner with- don't forget to invite mom-in-law! =)
2006-11-13 10:45:33 · answer #6 · answered by iluvmynotebook 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.You say that you knew of his interest in toy collections. I think it is unfair to expect him to change his interests because you think his hobby is immature. Many adults collect Barbies, trains,comic books,action figures, lunch pails,etc.Never marry someone with the idea you can reinvent them to your liking.If he is a good husband in every other aspect of your life let him keep his hobby. Just so you know a successful relationship requires compromise.Did your husband demand that you stop having an interest in something because it irritates him? be thankful he is addicted to toy collections and not drugs,alcohol,women or gambling.
2006-11-13 11:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by gussie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you sell the toys and make a profit off of it. You are right, she didnt let that boy (your husband) grow up and aloud him to keep buying those ridulious toys. I would sell them or give them to good will to people who dont have any toys. That will show your husband and his mom.
2006-11-13 10:46:04 · answer #8 · answered by TroubleRose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just give him 1 room in the house to do whatever he wants? The basement is always a great place. This way, he can display his collection, but you won't have to see it.
My boyfriend and I already agreed that he gets the basement of our future house to himself for all his nascar crap because I don't want it in the rest of the house.
Marriage is all about compromise and in this situation, your not doing so.
2006-11-13 10:45:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he traded one Mother for another since you speak of what you will and won't allow and how it is your home.
A marriage is suppose to be a partnership, not you ruling your home.
You speak of immaturity in your husband but how mature was it to marry a man who can't make decisions and stand up to his Mother and to you? It's his place to deal with his family, not yours.
You chose him, as immature as he is, and now you have to deal with it, as immature as you are.
2006-11-13 10:42:08 · answer #10 · answered by ~Gate~ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋