Noah's Ark in 2006?

Question

*_Noah in 2006_*

In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans. "He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -but no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. -I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about
the need for a sprinkler system.

-My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by
building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had
to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

-Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the
future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to
clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would
be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

-Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

-When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They
argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

-Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted
an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

-I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission
On how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the
people who want to work.

-The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

-To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying
to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

-So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to
finish this Ark. "

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to
destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

LOL excuse the cut and paste ...

Answer 1

Just goes to show you how messed up the world is.

Answer 2

Funny. Let me guess, New York or New Jersey! It takes for ever to get permit, and if you go to the wrong group, they will not do the work, and some will take the job, take your money, and then make you wait, while they go on vacation! been there.
Relocate your story next time to France. They need the water to turn off all the fires the kids were burning in the streets! ;)
seriously, funny.

Answer 3

Summary: If there's ever a flood as depicted in Genesis, we're all pretty much screwed?

Actually I think we'd make it out okay. Well not all of us obviously but we're pretty resourcefull, we'd be okay in the long run.

Answer 4

I saw this a few years ago. It was funny then and its funny now.

good job

Answer 5

Well thats cute and the truth.

Answer 6

Very nice.

Answer 7

That's a good one! But you have way too much time on your hands...LMAO!

Answer 8

This might be funny if your hair wasn't all "poofed up" like that.....
Hi hon.....

Answer 9

I'M SENDING THIS TO MY PASTOR...WE'RE BULIDING A NEW CHURCH AND HE'LL REALLY APPRECIATE THE HUMOR

Answer 10

LOL good one!