I am friends with the guy I like. He is kinda the shy type, so I am doing little things to hint to him that I like him. Anyway, he came over saturday night, and picked up dinner on the way. He called and said "If you want somewhere besides where I chose just let me know.." I said "No..." he said "...cause I aim to please.." I laughed and said "Well, that's a GOOD thing.."
he got silent on the phone, then said "let me rephrase that..." and I said "huh, my mind went straight to the gutter there.." he said "Speaking of, where is your mom tonight?" (she is in the process of moving out of my house) "At her boyfriend's." "Ah."
The 'speaking of..' and then wondering if my mom is home got me to thinking that he was hinting.
So, while at my house, after we ate. We were sitting on different ends on the couch. I said "Can I cuddle by you?" and he said "Uhhhhhh.....uhhhhh....I....guess...if you HAVE to." I said "no.." "I mean if you absolutely MUST.." I said "no, no..I was just asking, no big deal." he said "Why am I cuddly?" I said "yeah." he said "Thank you for the compliment."
About 15 minutes later he left.
What did I do? He wigged! He hasn't called or anything since then. Anyone have any idea how to fix this?
2006-11-13 02:30:04 · 18 answers · asked by Mintygoodness1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Somewhere in your dropping hints, he got the idea he was being teased... that you wanted him to think you wanted him so that you could squish him like a bug. He was really nervous about asking you to cuddle, because that would be the "moment of truth," when you'd either squish him like a bug or jump all over him...
You didn't jump all over him... which means he thinks you were getting ready to squish him like a bug. He ran before he could be squished.
Okay, so to fix it: call him, and appologize. Here's what he'll say, "Oh, it's no big deal." Then he'll wait to see if you call him again. What you have to do then is show him that you're still interested, you're just not the "jump all over him" kind of girl. Which is going to mean you're going to have to initiate conversations, you're going to have to go out of your way for him, you're going to have to make yourself emotionally voulnerable to him. You're going to have to put yourself in a somewhat scary place emotionally... a place where he feels like he has the power to squish you just as much as you have the power to squish him. That will help him feel safer... kind of in the same way Russia and the US used to keep enough nuclear warheads on hand to destroy the world... if anyone dies, everyone dies. Then he'll know you're not out to "get him," and he'll feel safer trying to make a move on you.
2006-11-13 03:06:40 · answer #1 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes we do need this many details. I think you did a great job at explaining what happend. Now, to answer your question. He seems to be the type that is going to freak out unless he is the one that makes the first move. You have already hinted to him that you like him, and I think he likes you by the things he is saying. He might just be very shy in this area. Call him up, just to say hey, and don't even mention the other night, act like it was no big deal. When ya'll get together again, be sure and let him do all the talking, and you do all the answering. He wants to be the one to take control in this issue, so just give him a little time to feel more comfortable. Good luck girl.
2006-11-13 10:39:01 · answer #2 · answered by Corona 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok first off there's nothing wrong with you giving a lot of the details it makes it easier to answer. Anyways, it sounds like it could be a few things but the two I am pulling from this are: 1) He's scared/nervous...possibly feels the same way you do -or- 2) He's not interested and was freaked out. Advice? Well I'd definately call him and set up a time when you can talk in person about this. It will probably be a little akward but it would be best for both of you to talk this out. If you like him that much, lay your cards out in front of him. He'll either accept them or he'll be friends. Either way he's in your life right?
2006-11-13 10:40:50 · answer #3 · answered by Heather P 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow that would confuse me too! He said that he aimed to please, so with that intel, I would think that the two of you had mutual feelings about each other. Believe it or not some guys run from cuddly situations, they feel as though you may be clingy. Being a male myself, I dont. I was raised with all women in my household so I like to think that I understand women a little better than most men. So I would cuddle, sometimes cuddling and just enjoying one another is way better than sex. All in all to him you didnt ask to cuddle you asked him to marry you! lol. You shouldnt worry about it. If you really like the guy and want to know what happened, humble yourself call him and ask? You will never know if you dont ask.
2006-11-13 10:44:28 · answer #4 · answered by GeeLew 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You came on to him too strong,he got scared and left.Guys like to be the ones to pursue things,If you get too mushy with feelings and emotions they run away!They don't want a girl who chases them,they want to chase you. It's a game they play,so if you play the game right then you'll have him snuggling you!
2006-11-13 10:40:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems that he's balking at your advances; you might want to back off and clarify your positions (no pun) to avoid a misunderstanding.
If you're interested, let him know - if he's receptive to the idea, great...if he starts squirming, apologise and get used to this guy just being a friend at best.
2006-11-13 10:33:47 · answer #6 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be point blank and ask him why cuddling offended him. It could be he does not have that type of relationship in mind with you or has religious beliefs that put him over the edge
2006-11-13 10:33:42 · answer #7 · answered by chattylady47150 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may still call. if not, you call him and say, how about going to the movie? I think he may just be shy, just give him some time. I would not read more into this, then you are. or you can just call, to see how he is doing? and what his plans are for this weekend?
2006-11-13 10:39:38 · answer #8 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is just shy.. give him time. He may be new at this and felt you were pushing him further than he is used to yet.
2006-11-13 10:53:53 · answer #9 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You offended him because he wants you and you are making it clear that you know this and are teasing him by being such an intimate friend. Whether you meant to or not, you led him on.
2006-11-13 10:35:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋