I pay for 90% of everything in my relationship. We've been together two years and are engaged. When we started dating she was in school and worked 32 hours a week. - Eventually she wanted to move in. Of course I assumed she was going to split the rent with me. It turned ou she did not plan this and it became a big issue. I loved her and thought I could take care of her... two years later she is paying $200 of the $1200 rent and pays for food.... however when we go out I pay 100% of the time.... I buy everything around the house... we've been out of decent eating utensils (down to three forks) and I ended up having to buy these too... the sheets on our bed are old and shrunk - not fitting the mattres... I waited for her to buy these (asking her, she said she couldn't afford it - and that I'd be waiting for a long time). ... I'm SO frustrated... this is daddy's little girl, and she and I are both 31.... ugh!!!.. I don't know what to do.
2006-11-13 02:06:30 · 9 answers · asked by byroni 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a huge issue. You two need to discuss how the other feels about finances in your relationship. You have to be honest with her about how you feel. This convo should have been had a very long time ago. For the first two years I payed for 80% of our expenses. Now my fiance pays like 90% and loves how it feels. We share a bank acct so it is easier and it works for us. We revisit our financing conversation every 6 months or so just to understand our budget. You are about to marry this woman. You must talk about this topic immediately!!!
2006-11-13 02:13:58 · answer #1 · answered by Heather C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like you want her to fork over some more money and help out a bit more. And it sounds like she either doesn't make enought to help out or that she refuses to. Now you need to decide one thing. Do you really want to marry her? and if you do then let all this go and just continue to do as you have been. Because obviuosly she thinks this is how it is suppose to work out.
I use to work but when my husband and I had children he asked me to stay home and take care of the kids and now I wish I had a job just so I didn't have to ask him for money every time I need something. I hate that he pays for everything but he prefers it that way.
You need to sit her down and tell her that you are going to need her help with the bills and such and that you are not going to continue to do it all alone and that if you do have to continue to do it all alone then you might as well be that......all alone.
If you do not sit her down and tell her exactly how you feel about it all then she will never really know. And if this is something you can get past I really don't think that you should marry her.
Good Luck!!!!!!
2006-11-13 02:19:36 · answer #2 · answered by Jamie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since you are both working you should not be footing the bill for everything. Just have a conversation about the money and let her know how you feel. But don't make it look like you're after her money. It might scare her off.
2006-11-13 02:09:20 · answer #3 · answered by Pam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would dump her.
Seems like she needs another daddy.
Time to let her grow up.
Let her leave on her own.
See how she fares.
She needs someone to teach her. Unfortunately, it's you. Leave her. It will knock sense into her childish brain.
In this way, you could help her out become more mature and responsible.
Good luck. It's enough. Time to open your eyes. Do what is best for you both.
2006-11-13 02:45:29 · answer #4 · answered by hello 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hit the road. It's obvious money is always going to be a problem. From the moment my wife and I moved in (even though we weren't married) we began sharing our finances. That is the smoothest way to make things work.
2006-11-13 02:10:39 · answer #5 · answered by texascrazyhorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are feeling used, then you probably are. Sounds like this girl needs a talking to. Set her down and explain your feelings to her. You can't expect anyone to be perfect or to know exactly how/what you are feeling/thinking. If she doesn't understand or get's upset about what you ahve to say.....then get rid of her. I'm sure you can find a better one out there that can take care of herself.
2006-11-13 02:11:41 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda SSS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that sucks. If she is only giving you $200 and buys groceries then where does the rest of her money go? Is she paying off a student loan? car note? car insurance? credit cards?
2006-11-13 02:18:17 · answer #7 · answered by KokoCutie272006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she have money to help?
If she's spending her excess money on krap while you'r scrimping for forks you have a problem. If she doesn't have the money that's another story. You should've hashed this out before she moved in. Now there's precedent. Not good for you.
2006-11-13 02:12:08 · answer #8 · answered by b4_999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like she is spoiled and if she is 31 she really needs to have a reality check!! good luck and maybe you could quit paying and she what she does.. maybe next time she talks about going out tell her you can't go don't have enough money? see what or how she reacts
2006-11-13 02:09:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋