I don't know if I can forgive her. What do I do?

Question

I have been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. She cheated on me about 3 years ago, and denied it. She came clean about it about 6 months ago and now I don't know what to do. Things are only complicated by the fact that we have a small child. I don't really want to be with anyone else. But I don't know if I can forgive her. I really don't know what to do. If I leave our child would have to split time, but I don't know what I can do. Like I said I don't know how to, or if I can forgive her. Please help.

Answer 1

Has she cheated since?
If not and you really can't forgive her and trust her then you will never have a heathly relationship and will split up eventually or be miserable.
It's important for your child to have parents who are happy, together or apart. Think about what's important. If your not happy how can your child be. They are detect when things are wrong eventually in the family. Show them a happy relationship can exist with or without each other.

Answer 2

Not sure where to start...Look at it this way, she came clean to you and thats a big step, if you accept that people make mistakes and go on being happy then a whole world of communication could be opening up for you both. Don't blow things out of proportion because if you really love her and she loves you, you can get thru this. People are attracted to other people, doesn't have anything to do with love. We are all animals and our insticts thru out history have proved so, I know that monogamy is important, but we all have needed a lil forgiveness in our lives at one time or another. She already apparently feels guilty enough about it so just love her and let her know that your there for her, never take each other for granted and open up your communication, it will be worth it, I promise. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

To truly forgive is devine... You will be a much better person for forgiving her. I believe she is sorry for this, or she wouldn't have told you. People deserve 2nd & 3rd chances. If you went back to 5 yrs ago, could you recall what your relationship was all about? Why she would have stepped outside? It may not have been to hurt you, it may have just been a mistake. I agree with this saying, "every relationship is like a job - you have to work at it" - but I also believe you must LIKE your job to be able to be successful! (do you get it?) Face it that she hurt you. Acknowledge this first & talk to her about it. Your child will survive with whatever your decision is... Best of luck to you! And remember this... We are all human & human's make mistakes!

Answer 4

Maybe try spending a little time appart from each other, i can see its complicated cuz of the kid but if cant forgive her you cant
Talk to her about what is happening to you and tell her u just need time to think, if u dont want to be with anyone else just take the time to be with your kid..
If you deside to forgive her u cant bring it up in every fight u guys have, u have to trly forgive her if you cant get pass it well then you should break up and you wont lose your kid

Answer 5

If you cannot get over it then the best thing to do would be to leave . Why do you want to put yourself through this ? It is hard sometime and I know that it must be hard to live with it. Yes splitting time with the child will be difficult . but would you rather she hear her disgust in her father's voice all the time? I dont think you want your child growing up that way. Like i said if you cant get over this then you need to move on . good luck and god bless and happy thanksgiving .

Answer 6

If you still love her, and you have a kid, it would be nice to be able to forgive her. If not because you love her, then for your child's sake. She cheated, true, but she also came clean, which is hard to do. If you can find it in your heart, try to forgive her. If not, tell her you have a freebie, get it out of your system, then keep on.

Answer 7

You know what? Think about this "IF someone cheats on you, then they were never yours". Dump the the biitch, and for the sake of the child be the adult, and leave but tactfully. It'd not fair for you to suffer believing her lies. If anyone ever cheats on me, I will never take them back, I'll forgive, but I won't have them back in my life they way they were before, because that is something special.

Answer 8

Try talking to her about it! I always say "once a cheater, always a cheater" but then again looking at the circustamnces, things would be bad on you and your child if you leave! Leaving her would be the best thing but you may go through some tough times! Only you can decide though! Good Luck!

Answer 9

So.....lemme get this straight......she cheated and then LIED about it to boot....???!??!?!? And it took 2 1/2yrs to come clean about it......???!?!??!?! FIRST of all, if she TRULY loved you she wouldn't have cheated ! SECOND of all, if she was remorseful, she wouldn't have lied about it and covered it up for so long...

What is HER attitude about the whole situation ???? Is she turning it around to be YOUR problem ???

Staying for the sake of the child is NEVER a justifiable reason. (especially with the animosity you're feeling) If you were important enough to her she wouldn't have done what she did.

If you're going to forgive her and move on, that's up to you. But if you do, you have to let go of the situation COMPLETELY !

GOOD LUCK !

Answer 10

hi,

forgive her,and free ur self.and just think once oh ur child.u r doing it for ur baby.what future u both want to give that child ?dont creat any bridge between u,sit and talk whatever u have,but before that make it clear that what u r doing is for our child.

and bro,ask her how much time she has in her life,wat about this life ?it is given by us once.dont mess it.

and ya ABOVE ALL,god is there when u need.and u r in need.realx and whatever happens WHATEVER dont keep an corner weak from ur side.

best of luck.