Should a 15 year old be allowed to leave their bedroom locked?

Question

My 15 year old son thinks he should be allowed to leave his bedroom door locked and only he has a key. My husband and I disagree on this and want everyones opinion... Thanks!

Answer 1

I'm 16 so I do understand why your son would want his door locked just for him, its about having his own privacy and space where he feels like no one else can get to him. My recomendation would be to say no to him having a key of his own but do allow him to have the lock. This way he has the privacy he feels like he needs but you also have the comfort of knowing that he can't lock himself completely in. Also, it's important that you have a key anyway, imagine if there was a fire! Good luck with whatever you decide

Answer 2

Absolutely not. It is your house. You have every right to access any area of the house. What on earth could a 15 year old possibly be doing that would require a lock on his bedroom door, give it a good hard think.

Be the parent, and don't engage in the arguement. If it becomes one, simply put a closet door knob on it, which will not lock.

He should be afforded some level of privacy, but under no circumstance should there be a keyed lock on a teenagers door.

Answer 3

Your 15 year old son should not be allowed to leave his door locked and only have a key.

I recommend putting a normal door handle and tell him he can lock his own door in his own place when he moves out.

However, if there is the issue like I went through, locking it while he is gone is not so bad as LONG as you and your husband both have a key. There is NO REASON for you two to not have a key.

Until then, your house, your rules. You don't have to explain why.

I had a lock on my door for only one reason: my step sister would go through my room when I was gone. My mom had a key and so did I. She can go in there anytime she wanted. I had nothing to hide as we had that trust part.

Your son wants independance, but there should be no reason to have a lock on his door and ONLY him having a key. That to me makes me think he wants to hide something.

Can compermise by saying parents have a key/access and that you will knock before entering and respect this privacy.

Answer 4

You and your husband are right. His room is not his, it's yours, you are allowing him the use of this space as parents. If he turns 18 and wants to pay you a agreed upon rent for his space then fine he can lock it. Since he is still a child under your care, then absolutely NOT! I would even go a step further, and say that he is not to have a lock on the door period, you should respect his privacy by knocking before you enter, but there should be no lock.

Answer 5

This is an easy one. You can either buy a "closet knob", one that has no lock on it, or you can remove the door altogether. It is a natural urge to want privacy during your teen years. This is part of what gets children to leave home and get their own place when they are adults.
I would go ahead and replace the knob when he is at school. There is no real purpose in having the "don't lock your bedroom" fight. You're not going to get him to conceed his opinion. Teens seem to love the argument. If you leave the door as is, you'll also have to check it each day, and your threats are empty. Grab a screwdrive- this one will take $5 and 10 minutes to fix.
Good luck. Stick to your guns.

Answer 6

Does he fear you would snoop around? Is he hiding something? Either way I always feel that parents have the right to do so and if he does have something to hide then you have a right to find out.
Bottom line, he is still a child and does not have the right to lock his door in your house. Just be tactful about how you go about explaining it to him- don't start a fight just make him understand it from your position. It's your responsibility has a parent to know what is going on in your son's life. Tell him that imagine a parent snooped through a child's room and found nothing but then the child found out and was very upset - the child would not have lasting effects of the event or have emotional scars from a parent looking in their room, BUT if there was a child who was doing inappropriate things on the internet or hiding serious drugs in their room and the parent found out and addressed the issue that right their could have prevented many problems in the child present and future - a drug problem that could ruin his life or inapproriate realtionships from the internet.
Just remember you are the parent and he is still a child, you ultimately know what is best and should enforce that accordingly.

Answer 7

Absolutely not. Not only is it your house, your rules, but what does he feel the need to hide? Especially if he wants the door locked while he's at school/out/etc. When he's home, there's nothing wrong with shutting the door and ASKING you to knock first, boys still need some privacy. But I wouldn't even want a lock on the door. Best of luck!

Answer 8

Forgive me for going in a different direction and asking you a question. Why does he feel the need to lock himself in his bedroom? If you trust him, no problem; if you don't trust him, problem; but if he is the one who does not trust you, BIG problem.
This is what I am reading between the lines; your son does not trust you. Everybody needs some privacy; your son obviously feels that he is not getting enough. Locked door, unlocked door, minor issue, giving your son the privacy and respect he feels he deserves, that is the issue.
Now, personally I am against locks on doors for safety reasons. Sit down with your son, talk to him, offer to set his clean clothes just outside the door, get him to agree to a certain level of cleanliness inside his room. Basically, agree to stay out of his room, but insist that he maintain his room to a minimum level of cleanliness.
The whole problem is a matter of trust. If you do not trust your son, you have a bigger problem than a locked door, but if your son does not trust you, you have a huge problem.

Answer 9

No, not at 15. In fact when I was 15 I was not allowed to lock my bedroom door AT ALL, EVER. My parents' house, their rules at that time. I even had to do my homework before I watched TV! Imagine that!! I was allowed to lock it once I turned 18 though.

Answer 10

It's very important that your 15 yr old has some privacy of their own. They are young adults and need that sense of privacy! Talk with your son on why he wants the door locked. Is it because of other siblings coming in?? Compromise with him on when the door should be locked....not 100% of the time. Eventually he won't even care if it's locked if you always knock before hand.

Good luck